I wish things were different
Somehow
You could actually be happy elsewhere
Instead of stuck in this perpetual and vicious cycle
With me...

it feels like you are too much,
and I haven’t decided if that’s good or bad
my mind is so full of you
it feels as though I must hold my skull together
with nails and plates of bitterness and anger.
there is no such thing as a new sky
nitrogen and oxygen react to paint the same colors every time.
that is the stability of science
and the doom of a heart that has been broken.
there is no new love.
uniqueness is addiction.
am I allowed to be afraid now? this late in the day?
who would grant me permission,
the flash of lightning that stops my heart
the same way your gaze does?
you’ve replaced my blood
it is now you who decides
how much oxygen reaches the tips of my fingers
and the back of my neck
and everywhere else your touch could grace.

I wouldn't consider myself depressed.
I have times when I'd laugh at a joke,
or smile at someone on the street.
Forget for a split second that I have any problems.
But then when it gets dark.
And I'm in my room, all alone.
I realise how depressed I really am.
*~ r.s