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 Mar 2014 Alyssa Yu
Damaré M
Today we are living in a world where almost everyone is only worth two weeks 

First you meet, treat, everything appears to be sweet until you get a taste of, a waste of, a trace of, you chase uh... hints of acidic distance 

Trying to find closure before loss of composure 
Wanting things to stay in motion, but your feelings have no choice but to suffer from erosion 
Because that person just blew right in and out of your life 
Undermining your plans of succession 
Migrating seasonally 
Without reasoning 
Dispersing their impacts all over the map 
Then you know... the ultimate treason 
Displeasing their allegiance 

Fourteen days 
Plenty of ways to become swayed 
Misled
And betrayed 
People rushing in and out of your life like a cascade 

I guess it is because no one knows how to preserve amities 
We're all just used to casualties
We're all just skeptical as fallacies 
We're all questionable upon answering 
Just like to text each other 
Don't know how to address each other 
Never trying to bless each other 
I guess we're all just used to allergies 

During these individualistic times
Cold hearts 
And simple minds 
How are we supposed to interact?
Now days the keystone being don't even attract 

We're too weak
 Mar 2014 Alyssa Yu
Zedler
Started off in the [clouds]
and after falling and crashing down,
touched the roots of a redwood.

Now with the help of giraffes
I scale it's back as I'm looking
to climb my way up the trunk.

Branch after branch,
contact causing
****, hoping no one
stops my conquest
and burns this tree to ash.

Talking to fauna,
birds chirp, to attempt
continuing this saga,
after she left I reduced to
nothing but a larva, as I now
undergo the metamorphosis,
similar to that of Kafka's.

Trauma induces this  
determination, of being reunited
in clouds with her creation,
and if up there nothing for me
is waiting, then abort mission,
swing towards a new notion,
and from the the clouds
I'm perched upon, jump
and plummet into the [ocean].

25 hours pass before
the tip of the tree is reached
and as the sun rises, I realize
I'm above the horizon and
on clouds perched I instantly
recognize the eyes hidden
under eyelids.

Finally we've met again,
tragic ending as I reach for
her to grab my hand.
Unstably standing on this branch
and as she hands me hers, she
retreats and pulls back.

Slipping, she let me fall
and midair I hear my heart
crack, falling thousands of feet,
I'm thinking of the love she couldn't
keep, and before the impact a thought passes my head; so honest.
Humans like myself, too ambitious in their conquest,
meant to stay at trunk of trees, and clouds, strictly homes for a goddess.
 Mar 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
She used to kneel before her bed every night
Praying to God
Make me beautiful,
Make me skinny

He didn't make her beautiful,
Or skinny
But he graced her with depression and anxiety
So she took matters into her own hands
And she now kneels in front of her porcelain throne
Hair in a messy bun, trying to keep quiet
And she prays
*Make me disappear,
Make me die
Inspired by This Is LA by the fabulous Marina & The Diamonds
 Mar 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
The more I talk to God,
The more I think he's not really listening
The more bad thoughts I have,
The more the ugly truth is leaving me wondering
The more I read the bible,
The more I realize I don't believe a word it says
The more I question,
The more secrets I can't confess
The more narrow minded my mother is,
The more she lets the light in so I can see
The more times I drink "the blood of Christ"
The more it feels like drinking the Kool Aid to me
I'm not trying to start a religious debate, so if you think you can change my mind, please don't bother trying. If you're offended by this, I didn't force you to read it and these are just my views. If you don't understand the last line, it's a reference to Jonestown.
 Feb 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
There's a part of me
With fantasies of who I want to be
A part that wants to live my life,
Take risks,
Go anywhere, everywhere
Just to get away from here
Let go of my past
And my scars,
Start anew,
Learn new things and find what's true
Eat when I'm hungry
Then stop when I'm satisfied
Start a conversation with strangers,
Be a leader instead of a passenger
This is who I would love to be

But then there is who I really am
The part of me who's always ******
The girl who can't stop dwelling on the past
And is scared of the future
And she's not to fond of the present either
Always expecting another disaster
Who stays in bed all day
Only getting up to binge and purge
Who can't even do simple things without having an anxiety attack
Can't even use a phone, how ****** up is that?
Who'll never go anywhere
Because she can't escape the thoughts she has
She'll always be a follower
Forever a **** pushover
She looks in the mirror and hates herself
And that girl will always be me
 Feb 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
When did skinny become synonymous with happy?
I wish I could tell that girl that being 120 pounds
Won't make her any happier than she was at 140 pounds
And she'll still feel fat and ugly at 90
And nothing will ever change
I wish I could tell her that she is more
Than the number on the scale
But I know she wouldn't believe me
She's been raised to hate her body
Obsessed with protruding bones
That look like they're about the break through the flesh
Her vision blurs the image in the toilet bowl
She flushed down her salad and her dreams
Cause beauty tastes like ***** to her
She has the bullets in the gun
But she won't deliver the fatal blow
Just etches more tally marks in her skin
Because she wants to be perfect at the morgue
I can't think of a more slow and strategic suicide
I wonder
When did unhealthy mean beauty,
Our bodies become war zones,
When did skinny become synonymous with happy?
And most of all,
When did that girl become me?
 Feb 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
How dare you call yourself pro life
And then make me want to **** myself

How dare you say that you're a Christian
And then act with hatred and intolerance

How dare you tell your friends about your new diet plan
While I'm silently throwing up dinner upstairs

How dare you ignore and insult me
And then get angry at the fact that I'm withdrawn

How dare you tell me you love me
While my tears flow down my bruising cheek

How dare you destroy me on the inside
And wonder why I'm showing it on the outside

How dare you boast about my high grades
When you used to call me stupid when I was slow to learn

And how ******* dare you call yourself my mother
When you've become my worst enemy
To my dear lovely mother, who else?
 Feb 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
The only way in which this love story is unrequited
Is that he loves her, but she hates herself
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”  ― Stephen Chbosky
I was trying to write a poem, but it ****** but I had these two lines stuck in my head so I decided to make them a poem of their own.
 Feb 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
When I was little all I wanted to do was fly
Like angels in the bible
Or like Peter Pan
With a little bit of faith, trust
And lots of pixie dust

When I was a bit older
I dreamed of being like a bird
While looking out of the classroom window
Not wanting to return home
I could spread my wings and protect myself
And fly
Just fly

One day I tried to fly
When I launched myself off my balcony
But gravity pulled me down and red liquid blossomed from my knee
While tears stained my cheeks
"What were you doing?" My mom yelled
I hiccuped through my crying
"I just wanted to fly."

I am standing on the edge
150 feet up in the air
I try not to think of it as falling
I imagine myself finally flying
And feeling the wind rush across my face and leave me flushed
I spread my arms and imagine wings
And let go
All to fly
"Falling is just like flying except there's a more permanent destination."- James Moriarty
 Feb 2014 Alyssa Yu
Theia Gwen
They always roll their eyes and accuse us teenagers of falsely believing
We are immortal and nothing can hurt us
We know that what we are doing can **** us
*We're
          Just
                Too
                      ****
  ­                              Broken
                        ­                      To
                                        ­           Care
Titled after a line in the song Teen Idle by Marina & The Diamonds
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