Sometimes I cry
when I think of him
unbuttoning those
orange shorts
that make your
*** look so good.

Sometimes I sext
you and your girlfriends,
but let's blame that
one on the drink.

Sometimes I smoke
to celebrate one of
your many deaths
in my ****** collection
of unpublished
short stories.

Sometimes I hope
you'll apologize
to me for ruining
my name.

Sometimes I want
you to hold me against
the wall and push--
until your bony body
passes through me,
and I turn you to waste.

Sometimes I call
to ask what's off limits,
so I know where to
set my goals.

Sometimes I buy
that cheap red wine
you loved so much,
and drink it all
in a night -- just
to watch it go empty.

Sometimes I curl up to
that lumpy, stained,
blue pillow, and
pretend it's you.

Sometimes I dream
of raising a family
in a small house
near Pacific Beach.

Sometimes I nearly
smother myself
with that blue pillow.

hey there; have i ever told you: you look like the type that can hold splintered arteries and mend them in a second? i won't let you touch mine, not now, not yet. but i'd like you to know. you're something. something i can't quite place. i might seem like a bother, but i'd like you to know: i'd let you sit next to me & paint my hands on to yours, if you would? color me however you want, just don't go too deep. i'd splatter the marble colors back on to your skin & count the pennies left in my pocket and maybe we can chase the streaming lines above us instead? you're something. maybe something that might fit better in my aching palms than these wavy lines. you've got a diamond laying loosely in those silver-grey pupils. i must admit, i might have taken a dip inside... i might have left paint streaks on their walls, but still... you're something. something i can't *quite place.

My love I hope you know the clocks stop turning when I'm with you. But days still pass and tomorrow is another night that I'll miss you.
Without you. I feel so shaken and my stomach jumps and churns.
The anxiety doesn't stop until I see you step out of your door.

Now you open my car and jump on in. Baby were on our way to the rest of our lives. We're on that familiar drive and all I do is talk and tell you what's been on my mind.
I love that I can confide and feel fine.
But Allison don't be surprised,
Your always the one on my mind.

I thought I had it..
For once I thought I found the one person that actually loved me..
I should have known it was too good to be true.
I shouldn't have even said yes to home after he left me the first time..