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 Mar 2014 Allison
Wilted Seaweed
How do I keep good grades
When I can't find the willpower to pull myself out of bed to get to school
How do I keep a good relationship
When no one can convince me I'm worth anything
How do I keep my friends
When they all move away
How do I smile
When all I want to do is break down and cry
How can I love others
When I can't even love myself
How can I be responsible
When I can't remember to eat or do homework
How can I do anything
When I try to sleep
And darkness slips through my dreams
"You're a failure"
"You're worth nothing to anyone"
"What's the point in living anymore?"
How can I face the dark
When you say to "just get over it"
"Just get out of bed"
"Be a good student"
How can I be strong
There's so much weight on my shoulders
Like a freight train of things to do
But I am so weak
My bones are brittle
I have cuts and scars that will not heal
I can't believe in myself
And no one else will
So this train will crush my brittle bones
I'll be nothing and no one
But that's no different than what I am today
I'll be gone with the wind
Shattered and swept away
With no one to remember
The girl who tried her hardest
Which was never enough.
A poem about depression.
 Mar 2014 Allison
cozy april
It's quite sad
how people make promises
about the future
because they have no idea
what happens in the future

People say things like
I will always love you
I will always be here for you
And things will get better

I promise

But
It's 6 months later
and you don't love me
You aren't here for me
and things haven't gotten any better
this isn't toward anyone in specific
 Mar 2014 Allison
Shelby Azilda
I feel the world closing in,
My heart pounding rapidly like rain drops on a windowpane,
As I struggle for breath.
I want to cry,
Why do I feel this way so suddenly?
Moments ago,
I was absolutely fine.

Anxiety attacks make no sense.
 Mar 2014 Allison
Susan O'Reilly
My baby's not getting out

I'm keeping it inside daily

"too soon, too soon" I mentally shout

while humming to my mound gaily

there's been the panicked hospital drive

blood oozing down my legs

that trying to keep 'it' alive

my desperate to doctor begs



See this is my 4th pregnancy

each one greeted with hope

I've already lost three

this time I  don't think I'd cope

they can't tell me why

done every  test

all we can do is try

nature does the rest



5 months I've laid in this bed

legs crossed not moving

each bleed fills me with dread

but each day in, chances improving

please say a prayer for me

we need all the help we can get

that inside stays my baby

'its' not ready to come out, not yet
 Mar 2014 Allison
Miranda
Relapse
 Mar 2014 Allison
Miranda
At a young age, we are introduced to and warned of fatal addictions
Drugs of every shape and form are proclaimed as our lifelong enemies
Whether we choose the path of hand to hand combat with them is up to us
We are shown the lasting effects of these addictions to scare us away
We are told to fight temptation and peer pressure over and over until the words are forever imprinted upon us
We must resist, they say

But no one ever mentions the fact that the most deadly drug appears to you as everything you have ever wanted
With qualities unlike any other
Qualities that are impossible to resist
No teacher, policeman, or parent ever warned me that my most fatal addiction would have a heartbeat
No one ever told me that a smile could hook me right then and there
And keep me for life
I got high off of laughter and a gentle touch
I lived life with a sweet satisfaction that told me everything would be alright
But eventually,
I could only muster up whispers of words left unspoken to burn and keep me at a level close to sanity
I needed more and more
You can only get so high off a memory
And my drug had nothing left to give me

No one ever speaks of what it's like to suffer with the withdrawals after you give up hoping for a return
No one ever speaks of the relapses on the days you think that everything is back to normal
No one tells you about how it feels when your drug finds another victim
Each day is a struggle to kick an addiction that you never saw coming

But with time, the longing goes away
As the days count up, so does your resistance
Growing up, you're told countless lessons and stories about fatal addictions and their cause
To look out for these drugs because all it takes is one use to hook you
And I never knew that applied to people as well

        m.h.
 Mar 2014 Allison
Samantha
Boys don't like girls like me

Boys don't like girls
With frizzy hair
And red velvet tongues

Boys don't like girls
Who wear heavy boots
And leather jackets a size too big
With pins pushed through the fabric
Declaring their beliefs
Like picket signs

Boys don't like girls
With outie belly buttons

Boys don't like girls
Who shop in the men's section
At thrift stores

Boys don't like girls
Who shut themselves in ivory towers
And refuse to let down their hair
Because they're too afraid

Boys don't like girls
Who talk to plants

Boys don't like girls
Who pick the pickles off
Of their cheeseburger because
They believe its the best part
And you always save the best for last

Boys don't like girls
Who carry trauma on their backs like boulders

Boys don't like girls
Who don't know how to kiss
Without leaving
Blood stains on your lips

Boys don't like girls
Who write love poems for themselves

Who practice archery and witchcraft
Because it makes them feel stronger

Who dance in their kitchen
To the music of popping popcorn

Who shy away from touch
Because to them it feels like acid

Who have stretch marks and cellulite

Who'd rather stay at home with the dog
Than go to that party

Who have ice in their soul

Boys don't like girls like me
And I'm trying to be ok with that
 Mar 2014 Allison
Lappel du vide
"i bet you're loud in bed."

**** right i am,
i'll make the plaster shake down on your
quaking body
and scream my pleasure so it fills every
empty space in our skin.

i'm not afraid to be a *****
because the only thing
quite as firm and unforgiving as my heart
are my legs.
 Mar 2014 Allison
Alice Baker
I still miss you, sometimes.
In the aching quiet of the night
When my thoughts wander to the smiles
And the laughs, and kisses.

I remember how you looked at me,
Like I was the answer to a thousand questions
I know you answered all of mine
Or at least, you did at the time.

You taught me lessons.
Like how to sing freely,
And how to love
Both openly and cruely.

I'm starting to forget your voice
And the way your hand fit in mine.
The smell of your skin
Has long since been washed from my sheets

I know we'll never be friends
You don't want to see me again.
And that's alright.
Thanks for the adventure.
I'm sorry this is sorta a ****** ending but I'm balling my eyes out hah.... Not really my normal stuff I suppose. Oh lord. Okay. Sorry.
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