Nick warned me of my overconfidence as I said the words
"Pass me your panic, Matthieu, that's what I'm here for"
Apparently I was calling on too much from the Frenchman
More than Nick believed me capable of bearing
But his words were too late to spur any moment of deliberation
-not that consideration would ever cross my mind

In just a few sentences exchanged between us alone
I spotted a glimpse of something in Matthieu's eyes
Naturally, I pulled at the gleaming thread, the traces unravelling within my hands
But the shimmer I saw, was merely a reflection
What i held was cold, a lump of misery and surrender
This man had given in to a sadness so toxic it had nestled itself into his very core

And I took it
Telling him to relax for this night, i have your back
But, Nick was right in his warnings, this burden is the heaviest I've yet carried
Though, I can bear it, and I choose to wear it
This is my duty, Matthieu, and yours is another
You are meant for light, heart and joy
Keep walking to your destiny, the happy man.

I realized one of the peacekeepers tonight
And, as always, I spoke honestly
But against tendency, I was specific
-Maybe it was the drunken haze, but the vision had so much clarity

I spoke words to him, that formed without thought, nor doubt of mind
And when these naturals were vocalized, there was no need to speak uncertainty of that what was said
- in fact, these words, alike these at the making of my fingertips
Felt as though their mortality through speech or visibility, gave them truth that me or my subconscious could question.

This drunken conversation that was in obedience to circumstances
Was extreme and unnaturally passionate
Yet, disorbedient to sobriety, was fluid and understanding
I feel now, possibly to be regretted in the morning, completely confident in the impact made

He is good- as good as he is a keeper of peace
And my words spoken, although never able to be retold in accuracy
Affected me as much as I, possibly am mistaken to believe, he was to be
But here, in this poetic security, I wish to share them

He is a peace keeper, I am sure
As we conversed I looked to the greenery around us and they showed no warnings
Their leaves , as they do in sunlight and rain, continued to show love without worry
And that love, I felt strong, and thanked as it kept my speech strong

I asked- or even in my possible dillusion  of high spiritedness, commanded, this man
In all the goodness that I possess and could show
To pass his negativity to my mound
As I do to all that seek peace rather than create it

You don't need to fight in this battle, my friends
For your role, is one much needed when the time comes
So save your fight, and save that energy
For your light is strong, and crucial for darker times to come

Should this message, this realization raise alarm
And the puppeteers ask of you those sins frequently ask,
Don't worry, don't hesitate, don't fight against their orders
Just breathe, sigh even, and act as you always have

I see your hearts
I feel that love long forgotten
The fact that you don't want to obey is in fact in our favor
Because we all know, deceit is their favorite game

But this deceit is the beginning of their downfall
As your want to avoid passing me the negativity, will unnaturally cause them to cast it in rebellion
But I am strong, and my strength is yet to show
I have your back, because I know you will soon have mine.

I'm still here!
You're looking the wrong way
-by accident, I presume
I see your looks to surfaces and material
-I suppose it's me you're looking for
Because you've stared so many times

All you have to do is look up to the skies
But, you know that
-you've probably strained your neck, right?
I guess the trees and earth will do
But you never look, why is that?
I've sent winds and storms so trees wave to you
I'm here! Why don't you believe in me?

My tears have been free flowing since your leaving
And in moments where discretion of sobs is called upon
The droplets find other means of escape
Some evaporate, fleeing my body amidst breath breathed out
Others wait patiently for sun to open pores wide enough for exit
But despite the success of many I still have more tears to weep.

I guess I make you worry when I answer you call
And I can understand how
When eyes gaze through tired lids and words spoken with dry lips-
But, my love, I am not sad
Though troubles I do have plenty, that flood my timid heart
Overflowing as turbulent seas in teardrops so many.

My Love, remember these tears that flow so often
That are accompanied by weeps and sighs
Come from the heart in loving pain
Since our words get lost upon the breeze, just know-
I love therefore I feel sorrow
I love therefore I feel
I *love

I think about you. A lot.
But that's not to say I want to return to your side
I get weak, I admit, and my subconscious calls out your name
But the sight of you before me brings memories along with it
And nostalgia is suppressed by haunting recollections of you

I do replay our conversations in my head
And smile still to the loveless banter we shared
But I can't picture that future we talked about in detail
I never could envision it actually

I remember our "perfect children"
But they have never come to me in times of need
Like those I have seen since we parted
Nor have I daydreamed to see their faces
Or been able to mesh our faces in mere assumption

- I guess imagination does exist
somewhere in my mind
Because the future you promised me is nothing more than a thought.

I don't know how it happened
Maybe I gave too high a spirit that they were unable to believe in
But, even if it gave wind to their wings and lifted them too high
It's still further away from there
I'm still trying to bring them back, even if they do all they can to bring me down
And I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong
But I can't find breaks in the connections made
No gaps for them to creep through under the of shadow
The current i channel to all still runs strong
Its light still bright
So why did the haze catch their eyes?
How did they tempt these once sweet angels down from such great heights?

How were they convinced to remove halo in favor of horns

I fell in love with you
Whether or not we were in love
or that you were able to love me completely
It doesn't matter, so much
You still loved me with your heart
And I still fell

And as I fell, I clung to your heart that was mine
Hitting the earth expecting your safe landing at my side
But I never saw the cord strapped on that pulled you back
I know the heart I gave is tucked secretly in your pocket still
And I still hold yours, no matter how many falls I take
They don't matter, so much

It doesn't matter how many deeds you have to do to me
I don't scream in pain as the imagined is made physical, not any more
But, I cry, and I don't care how many more the tears bring
I have your heart, Your good heart
I will return it again one day
To be given back with thoughts that count.