These playful boys
Ducking in and out from the sea of umbrellas
Occasionally poke their heads out to be splashed by my rains
A waterfall of another substance, with no intention nor motive
But simply given to bathe all in purety and joy
Free from payment and contract

My water drizzles from pores as if never ending
And my cloud, held up by these feeling boys
Who, upon looking upon my cloud
Create invisible pillars, sturdy and unbreakable, keeping it from falling from sky
These links pass their happiness to the outline to the grey mists embodied
Often misleading simple eyes to presume unwanted storms and floods
And hopefully more may look up, to find their silver lining

But as I look down to see my waters humble achievements
I am blinded by the swarm of blockades erected
Falsely they fear the waters as they fear other things natural and of form
Suspicion instilled by mergers already signed causes distrust
For they're accustomed to a price, and deals being made
Blindly they cannot see this freedom was rightfully theirs to begin with

The truth disguised in every drop of rain is eternal, without expiry nor catch
Unlike those temporary pleasures offered by fog and shadow
But so many droplets go straight to the ground, dead and unrealized
Trampled on as the crowd continues living in shade
Each hit, bruises me and my cloud, darkening the already looming grey
Unintentionally the growing cloud provokes more deterrence from storms broadcasted maliciously
But still, I release my waters, looking down to those boys who care not for light in darkness

Eyes have been following me all day long
So many different shades, uncountable pairs-
But so few variations of the looks given
Some haunting, some giving companionship
But unoriginally, both provoking emotion the same.

I was blessed by just a mere few individuals
Who caught my eye momentarily in unnoticed secrecy
Gesturing appreciation for what I loudly stand for
And continuing my flow of happiness for others to share
But some currents were stopped.

The waters halted in tracks dried up
By desertion of carriers unwilling and uncaring
They pushed the shared joys out to dry land and their imagined flames
And waded to the company of criminals targeting me, and me alone
Latching their imagined fangs to the very passage used in good intention.

I caught a thief in the act
Though she didn't care about concealing her hateful crime
Nor the enjoyment benefitted from reactions provoked
In fact, she reveled in feigning attempt to hide her malice
And went so far as to turn away to sneer.

She drained me today, and drains me still tonight
But, I'm still winning this game I don't play
Knowing that when she turns to marvel at stolen goods
Her lifeless eyes will be met by a familiar pitiful failure experienced earlier today
When my smile, although quivering, remained unturned.

What was leeched out by this parasite of a woman, is not what was sought
I am well learnt in the tastes of beings undeservingly living
And remained lifetimes ahead of her worthless scheme
My dear, I live with the devil who's art you mimic quite insultingly
And tonight, differences aside, we turn together to sneer.

I never asked anything of you
You were always in sight when I needed you before
And that was all I needed to remedy your absence.
But your watching eyes are becoming harder to find
The warmth they gave has been replaced with a cold silence
My yearnings heard by everyone but you
Who tease and taunt my every call
I took their beatings as a helpless victim does a bully
In solitude I tended to the bruises for a while
Until they covered my shadow completely with no remorse
So out of light did I go my darkened skin camouflaged in shadow
But I'm came out after so long
Long enough that someone saw

They didn't walk away as so many have before
Running as if my wounds were contagious
No, they came to me openly and fearless
Upon the fields of battle
Leaving small inscriptions upon my hand and skin
Dressing the bruises as each letter was laid
And then without word you held me, nothing more
A ghostly embrace that felt real and warm
Holding tears back from selflessness unexpected
And they left speaking words of sweet dreams and slumber
A stranger to this day who brought me back to my feet

And in their parting did questions arise
For I do not hear your breath or feel your touch
Nor do I ever see you in the distance
Yet here into my skin does a strangers words seep
Without lust giving permission to the intimacy we shared
Just care, one stranger to another
Who stood beside me
Where you once were
Cared for the injuries
That I bore in your place
And filled my heart as much as they could spare
That same heart that was once filled by you.

You thought something, didn't you?

It came to mind as you looked upon my smile
Honesty gave passage to your silent confession
And it travelled quick through currents between us
Electrically sparking and revealing itself in my head.

I heard the words that deceived your secrecy
Your poker face faltered, despite plenty of practice
And my eyes, making most of the sight of you before me
Cast its net to savor everything about you.

But the net pulled fish never seen before
And witnessed guilt unfamiliar, as it fled through batting eyelids
These fish, saved deep in memory, are alive, jumping still
And each time they fall, my heart skips a beat.

Hello unfaithfulness, I see you've made yourself at home.

An exit for expression
An admittance with no fee
A mind free from excluding
An exhibition without end

The centerpiece- an installation
Ever moving within its frame
Its contents constantly disappearing
To reveal a blank canvas to be filled once more

The artist turns out to be me, and me alone
Leaving my post is an improbability
As the gallery holding me hostage is my own mind
Yet in truth, I find happiness in this prison cell

Without sleep I find energy from passers by
Who refuel my passion with their coins
Thrown into my hat beside me
Tokens of positivity that they cannot directly give

The door is always open
Even to those who find fault with the artist
Who tease me in my chained feet
And hurl their abuse with intent to delay completion

Yet still, I welcome companionship of viewers
Without noticing the deviants who scratch away at my painting
My selflessness renders me unable to notice evils
Blinding me with the future I paint before my eyes

My piece is never mastered
For I am distracted by evils constant approach
Presenting me with gifts of seeds, that grow in my soils
Only to blossom as weeds, and eat away at all goodness

But my grounds are open, and my job demands time
Rarely do I have the time to look upon works accomplished
But I steal a moment as sun and moon change shifts
Only to be met a view that gives no happiness as before

My stubborn positivity keeps defences up
Protecting myself from taunters and ghosts who take refuge in corners
I am distracted by my own optimism, the joy of what I do
But it hinders me, in ways I cannot defeat

My ability to seek vengeance was never yielded nor encouraged
So instinctively as always, I turn not to the voices behind me
And paint upon the canvas once more
The doors still open

I miss you
I cry because I want to be by your warm skin
But I'm not
I beat myself trying to draw you to me
But you never see
I reminisce the good times we had together
But I forget the even greater ones we've yet to have
I'm stuck remembering how you taste and smell
My thoughts glue me down more
I watch my love grow every moment
But I feel the sadness at its heel
I write so many words but say so much to you in thought
My mouth is paralysed
My body numb
My heart is weak, and weakening with growing love
I love you
But I need your love for me because I have none.

Are your eyes still closing to watch me?
I've searched the walls, stared at reflections and studied my skin
But I cannot find your scribbled face as I used to
No longer do I watch imaginations of you moving freely around me
And I have resorted to daydreaming to feel your ghost touch.

Self controlled imaginings of you brings similar pleasures
But they scares me much more
Concentration to envision provokes fear
Worries tha your illusion is conjured against its will
And pulling you from a fantasy once deserted.

Last night after a fight to summon dreams
Satisfaction was given quick as if an inconvenience
My love, I don't want to pull anymore
The invisible rope between us is no longer used in guidance
And it is burning my eyes as I pull.

Climb the rope, strain me no more
Show me that I am a dream rather a haunting
But should this truly be a cruel tug of war
I beg you, drop the rope
Allow tears to soothe wounds to come.