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 Mar 2017 Alexandra Provan
Rae
My head spun and
I couldn't see the
lines between
a potential problem or
dread.
I swore
I could plow on.
And suddenly,
there was a quiet moment
and it would make me realize that
the worst thing that can happen
can happen.
it did.
.
Ravens scatter outside my pain.
A throw of die against the winters

First snow and the window needs cleaning,
Maybe later.  The running glass

Is watery and after I make love
With you, I wake to the severing light

That is always silent.  The phone
Does not ring, as my cat has told me

Many times, let us play she says,
The way it used to be under

The red wood beams on the hard wood
Floors, you would cry in that vacancy.

Though we lived in a one bedroom
Unfurnished, I called it a dance hall

And we danced silly tangos.  I tried
To lift you then, but now outside

My window, ravens dervish and never
Fly in formation, under blue mountain.
Amongst the forest of your ribcage
Pounding feet muffled by moss beds
Racing and weaving betwixt a wig of vines
Elusive artist, gymnastic god

Can I catch him?
Do I dare try?

If I ever did, or could,
Reach out and ****** his wrist
Would I not ensnare him?
Like severing the flower from her stem,
Wishing to keep hold of her forever,
But just like her petals, he would wither.

No.

I will not tear through these woods that are not my own,
To entwine him around my finger.
He was not made for capture, but to captivate.
This is not a hunt,
It is a game of tag
And I will burn after him
If only for one touch
Before he sprites away again.

A wood elf and his girl
Making love in the forest of your ribcage.
From the start of this
To the very end
Swimming in ignorance
We'll do it all again

Sands from the hour glass
Keep on seeping
As we watch history
Repeating...

Under the baking sun
Nothing has ever changed
What's being done's been done
The path remains the same

As the bell loudly tolls
Time is fleeting
Watching history
Repeating...

Have there been lessons learned
I'm thinking not this turn
Getting what's deserved
In everything we earn

We still remain the same
In our hearts beating
As we watch history
Repeating...
Chaos
has been
a better friend to me
than faith
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