Its so much easier to push someone away, than to let yourself become vulnerable.
                                                     ­         
To give them the power to hurt you.

Showing your true feelings is relinquishing all your power.

You're trusting them not to take advantage of your weaknesses.

And that, is an absolutely ridiculous notion.

Once weakness is spoted, it is used and abused, untill you are just a quivering mess lying on the floor, wondering how you ever let yourself get into such a situation.

I will not be:
Vulnerable  
Powerless
Weak

I am strong, because people don't know the real me, and that's how its going to stay.

I thought if I moved halfway across the world,
you'd stay embedded in my bed sheets back home.
I thought your looks would stay locked in my desktop,
and you'd never follow me here.
And you didn't.
You stayed, and you flourished.
I left, and I'm failing.
I'm searching for meaning in strangers' beds,
and green bottles, swearing to hold light in them,
lightening my head, and lighting my body on fire.
Hands grabs and claw at my flesh,
never my soul.
Who I am can't please them.
I only want to please you,
To wrap myself inside you and find nothing but
citrus scents, sweat, and affection.
You wrapped threads around my rib cage,
and masterfully pulled the strings until my bones ripped out.
The worst sensation is the carelessness with which you handle them.
They stack up in a pile in your basement.
You ignore them, unintentionally now.

CRUSH

Crush,
The term wouldn’t exist if it doesn’t hurt does it?
When does it start? This feeling,
It grows bigger and larger,
And suddenly I realise,
My heart is on the verge of exploding,
Bursting with emotions that I can’t help but feeling so.

The only thing that I have want to convey and send to you is
‘I like you’, ‘I like you a lot’,
My heart, it hurts,
Evan seeing you from afar, my heartbeat goes crazy,
It's hard to breath,
How do I stop this feeling?
I am tired, I am sad, I am happy, I am anxious,
Because the only thing I have been thinking of is you,
You! You! and only you,

But crush, oh crush,
In the end you’re just a crush,
Those words,
They were never conveyed,
And I silently keep this feeling to myself,
With the faint hope that you’ll return this feeling,
In this feeble heart of mine,
And again, it hurts.

-nuraishahazman-

Often times
We are so mesmerized by the chase
That we forget whom we are running after
Or why we started following their path
In the first place
Our intentions become unfamiliar
So caught up in the excitement
It is easy
To get lost in the chaos
Become addicted to the adrenaline
There is something so appealing
Beautifully devastating
About loving someone
Who will never love you back
The chase
Is the root of humanity
What we cannot have
Only makes us want it more
And knowing we'll never have it
Only makes our hearts grow thirstier
And our imaginations stretch wider
Believing it is better
To hang on by a string
Than it is to have nothing to hold on to
The chase
Is what fuels us
It is the catalyst to disaster
And we feed it anyway
Each day is motivation
Determination building from every let down
His failed promises
And excuses
Apologies and forgiveness
Those who show remorse
Do not always mean it
But grant it anyway
Forgive again
Play the scene over and over
He will hurt you the same the next day
And yet
You will still run
Arms open
Eyes closed
Trying to catch up
With what is ultimately unattainable
Attempting to reach
For hands that pull away
Kissing lips that speak only of now
Never tomorrow
Crawling with tired legs
And weak knees
But the chase
Is what keeps us
Going
Going
Going
Without ever
Looking back
The chase
Is what keeps us
Living
Searching
Longing
The chase
Is the heart
Of passion
We are running
With no intention
Of ever stopping.

you said
it doesn't matter anyway
it never did

you said
it didn't matter
if it was a week, a month, or a year
we wouldn't be forever anyway

you once said
you loved me
on a cold and dark night like this

you said  
it didn't matter

but baby
it matters *to me