I fell in love with the way my name rolls off of your drunken tongue and you slur your way through the consonants. I fell in love with the way your touch wounds me with something like a bullet hole and you leave nothing but a band aid. I fell in love with the way I hear your voice scream "stop" through the smoke in my charring lungs. I fell in love with the way I can see your face at the bottom of my bottle, because we all know you mix best with whiskey. I fell in love with the way you watch me drive through red lights with a wicked grin across your lucid face. I fell in love with the way you leave a toxic haze everywhere you go, you make it impossible to not get drunk on you.

You never liked me,
              
              you never loved me
                            
                           and you never could.
                                
                       ­          Cause you never saw me,

                          you never knew me

       and you never *would.

i'm so tired of being tired.
i carry these rickety bones
around like extra baggage
long and far
left moving in motion like an old carousel that should have stopped working long ago
i'm there for the laughs and the smiles
always there but forever absent
on a mental vacation you could say
i am something you will grow fond of and eventually leave
and that's okay
see,
i'm not the type of girl your mother warns you about
i won't break your heart like a bottle of whiskey after having a little too much
i will stand by your side until the day my bones snap from carrying the weight of the  world
and my name turns into a r.i.p scribbled on a gravestone.

winter comes along
makes me wish you were laying in my chest
with my arm around you
laying in bed
listening to the sound of the wind whistle through the cracks
sipping hot chocolate
listening to calm music
kissing when its dark
when the sun goes down and you cant see the snow
not until it smashes into the window
when its so cold that frost creeps around the corners of the glass
when you can exhale onto it and draw faces while it lasts
then they disappear
but you know that they're still there
all they need is a little heat and they will once again appear
winter makes me love more
makes me feel a way i thought i lost
love, lust
hope, trust
but before you know it the snow will melt
and so will us

the kind of girl who craves
falling leaves
and coffee shop loves
with the soft plucks of a guitar
and the vague taste of tobacco
on his tongue

Mindless.
Everything we've had, to you,
It was mindless.
It meant nothing.
But you didn't bother to even mention how you felt,
I guess because you didn't feel anything at all.

Effortless.
Everything I felt and said, to you,
It was effortless.
I gave you everything until I was left with nothing.
I was too scared to mention how I felt, because I was afraid,
Afraid you wouldn't feel the same way at all.

Flawless.
Everything I saw in you,
It was flawless.
I fell in love with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled up when you smiled.
In love with the way you saw life, your humor,
The way you drove me wild.

Obvious.
All the warnings and red flags,
They were obvious.
But I was too stubborn to let you go until we were left with nothing.
Now, I find myself here, telling you how I feel, always a moment too late.


Happiness.
I am thankful for every moment spent with you,
It was pure happiness.
You taught me to be free and to find positivity in everything I could see.
I could never regret all that you gave to me.

Images.
All that's left now of us,
They are images.
But these memories, call me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If they are all that I have left of you, at least I am left with something.
Even though truly what you left behind, in the end, amounted to nothing.



But oh well, I guess it was probably for the best.