I wish I wasn't so upset by a lack of music in my ears,
I feel so alone when no one's there to dry my tears.
I'm wasting time trying to figure out what I feel,
Instead of realizing all the things I have that are real.
I've skipped all the good and jumped to the bad,
I'm a worst-case-scenario thinker that's always sad.
Questioning intentions and arguing compliments
Instead of worshipping myself and my accomplishments.
Tell me why I should have the right to complain,
Besides the fact that I'm burning alive in pain,
A mental pain that exists due to a chemical imbalance
Kind of ironic that a libra would encounter that challenge.
But nevertheless, here I am wanting to scream,
Asking God why I can't have what I dream.
Not sure why I feel so empty when I'm alone,
but when people are near, I turn hard as stone.
I'm a catch 22, a ******* hypocrite, too.
Being a happy person is hard work when you're naturally blue.
Fighting the same battles, years after years,
An internal struggle to justify all these **** tears.
But when the music is gone, it all comes to the surface,
I am an endless cliche of a girl with no purpose.

maybe we were never meant to be.

maybe you did once love me.

it's that 50% chance

of uncertainity

that fail my relationships

Miserably.

Have you noticed how fake life is?
Just like this poem, its not really a poem,
Its just my thoughts and feelings,
Grouped in to 4 lines.

But might as well carry on,
Mention how fake you are,
Your make up,
Your thoughts and feelings.

How am I supposed to know,
How you feel,
What do you want,
Do you even want me?

Worst of all, it hurts me,
It makes me feel like I'm not me,
I want to be with you,
That makes me feel like something isn't right,
I feel fake.

1.) By the time you're reading this, you are probably bigger than I am right now & I just want to let you know that Mom, Dad, Brother, Friends (Real friends though, I hope you already met them by now) & I is and am proud & will always be proud of what you decide to be.

2.) Never ever forget where you came from & who was with you through your journey. Never forget to thank them.

3.) Always, always forgive. But, do not easily forget.

4.) Please control your nativity. Do not easily fall for a person's words/actions.

5.) The worst things in life comes free to us.

6.) Always remember to use your talents. Improve it. Share it. You have potential even though your past self didn't have any.

7.) Don't be afraid to fall in love. It's not a surprise that by now, you're either experiencing a heart ache or you've gone through one before. Or you could be madly in love with someone. Just try to love yourself more, please.  

8.) Putting yourself first sometimes is okay. It does not & will never mean selfishness.

9.) Beware of the phrases "I'll always be here for you." "I am not leaving" etc. You cannot always decide when someone has to leave your life. The greater one might leave first then the worst. Some people will leave you, expect that. I'll hope and I'll pray that God shows you differently.

10.) By now, your experience has leveled up and you've been through things. It might change your perspective & goals. Go seek your great perhaps. You can do it, I believe in you.

I'm tired of being used
I am a person too
You cannot take me, distort me
Then leave
You cannot use me for your own selfish needs
You cannot use me for company
I am more than a tool to fix yourself with
I am more than an object
I was there for you, who's here for me?
Help me
I can't do this on my own
I'm alone, so
alone

we're so used by being used
how long do we need to bleed
it's just happening all over and over
we always come back to this
like we never learned a thing
I know you know how this feels
played by somebody's hands
tortured by their schemes and playtimes

I can still feel you reaching in my chest, burning your fingertips into my heart.