Light the funeral pyre.
The fleeting fire of desire
will never keep you higher
than a space devoid of *******,
or the clever whiff of wit.
(whether or not I deserve it)
I looked you in the eyes;  I shook.
The embarrassing strength it took.
The longing I have for you
is asymmetrically split in two.
A love for the rendezvous,
but a run from the morning dew.
That's you.
But realistically,
I'll be me.
And to be free,
I'm finally happy.
And she's out there-
a heart of care,
soft, translucent hair,
some lacy underwear,
a smile to defeat despair.
Every time I doubt,
I see you there.
And then you're everywhere.
You're my sturdy, wooden chair,
and the cowlick in my hair.
And to be fair,
I've got some pretty sweet underwear.
But ****, when you’re there,
you're there.
And for me,
you're everywhere.

Love in an elevator
Procrastinated "see you later",
and how I ******* hate her.
An attest to me?
No, attest to thee,
And protest the conquest
for outdoor reccess.
No I didn't break it,
I found it that way.
No love in an elevator,
Satiated, recluse motivator.
See the rust on the bones?
They happened when you were home alone.
Home but not alone.
Check your sunrise, check your phone.
I will check it before I wreck it,
and remember she still deserves respect.
Despite the state of the insect.
We all need love.
Not some hope from above.
A genuine sunrise check.
A dauntless morning peck.
The hope for this comfortability
The mind's wish for mobility
The endless denial of futility
And my endless conquest for you.

All the pieces are there.
For now, you say nowhere.
But
you're the everything that we need.
A benevolent benefactor,
an altruistic seed.

**** me?
No, *******.
All these words you hear are true.

A night with beer and no pants
defeats cologne,
a strict script for flirting,
and that god forsaken music
(They really make money off this, don't they?)

Your bed is warm,
but the frigid ground
will teach you to love the grass.
And when the soil thaws,
she'll smile at you,
and you'll realize-
The step outside
was worth freezing through.

There's nothing more soothing-
the oxymoronic headlights colliding with darkness.
Just us, burning haze, and the stereo.
And that's the best part-
these stories are the ones that no one will ever know.

I cannot continue,
for the lessons you've given are endless;
words could not possibly encapsulate all of this.
In a world where love can often run dry,
you embody the steadfast ambition
in beginning to try.

I'll be the one to give you the while.
to be there for soup and sniffles.
I'll be the one for savage days and lonely nights
to heal the burns, to count the stars.
I'll be the one to push you into the clouds
to remind you of you, once in awhile.
I'll be a shining rose on a warm spring afternoon.
I'll be your favorite pair of earrings.
I'll be a sweatshirt when it can't seem to get warm.
I'll be the ice cream,
the perpetual supporter of your self esteem.
Not to touch,
but to feel.
Not to sway,
but to swing.
Not to love,
but to adore.
Not to ease,
but to excite.
To smile, to hold, to love.
Just let me in.
To love, to love, to love.

We all have a purpose or two-
I just came without the instructions.
Mine is a flawed foundation-
an accidental procreation.
Listen-
I can't feel,
but that doesn't quell the urge
to touch every single inch of you.
It doesn't matter if her name sounds like yours,
her eyes have a different sparkle,
and you don't make me feel like ****.
So let me dance you into the dawn
and tie your noose for you.
It's either me or the chair,
because I'll never be there.
I don't know if this is too much to ask.
"We all deserve love,"
but what if that's not true?
The burning burden I ignite.
There's an empty cavity in my chest
and your heart can't fill it.
I'll keep climbing the pit
until I let go.
I'll keep letting go
until you reach for me.

I love you.
Enough to draw this picture
in perfect, negative contrast.
I don't want your reflection looking so grey.
I love you enough to hold your hand in public
I'll tell you behind a screen,
but only if you ask.
These gifts show affection.
The kisses worth the lists.
Hindsight is abysmal,
because there is no dollar sign
on all the damage that this put me through.
I love you enough to follow,
enough to put myself behind.
Enough to look up the knot
and choke myself blind.
I love you enough to lie.
Enough to say yes.
Sixty miles.
Gone.
I love you enough to lose it all.
I give my demons a ******* excuse
why I can't hang.
And so they escape unsolved.
Why didn't someone tell me?
The further they ride away,
the harder they are to understand.
I love you enough to write this.
I want to pay an earnest tribute.
I want to know it was all worth it.
The black dawns
the aggressive swans
Your role as the queen
and mine as the pawn.
If they all blame it on you,
they are wrong.
I caused this.
You just tagged along.
You just loved me.