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ahmo Dec 2014
I'll always have this feeling on my shoulder
and this stench on my breath.
What you never knew
was just how bad it would get.

All I wanted was reciprocation-
eyes that actually cared,
hands that actually struggled,
and a laugh that rang genuine.

Something is just missing.
Always has.
Maybe my affinity to anything
was violently torn from me.
Or maybe it's just my fault.
ahmo Dec 2014
One step leads to the next.
Propels us
Compels us
to do more
despite what rewards we reap for idleness.

Don't forget it
you have to remember.

Another night of lost scarves and broken glass?
Another autumn wrapping winter in foiled paper?
Another snowflake to break the camel's back.
Another night  to be propelled
and compelled
to continue.

Stepping into another day
is much like stepping into a tunnel.
Our insecurities hidden
and our dreams in the distance.

There is a light.
There must be.
ahmo Dec 2014
I am a timeline of everything I've ever known.
It's copied onto thirty-five pieces of blank paper
and revealed to you in that mundane history course
that everyone naps through.

I can't deny
that among the black waves,
I've seen a sea star or two.
But I seem to be devoutly colorblind
to the silver linings that outline
what I've gone through.

You can't disguise your drowning,
nor can you swim to shore.
You just have to hope
that no one knows what to look for.
  Dec 2014 ahmo
Devon Webb
We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.
It's worth it though.
  Dec 2014 ahmo
Mara
My head hurts
It keeps throbbing
I feel tears building up behind my eyes
Waiting to rain down
Because of everything I've kept inside
The vision of them yelling at me
I never let it phase me on the outside
The thought of disappointing
Always crosses my mind
Banging my head on a white wall
Watching my body become bruised
Let me resemble the cosmos
Maybe if I had an expanding everlasting mind
I wouldn't be so caught up on the fact
I could never finish on time
If I were a unconscious entity
It wouldn't bother me
Please leave me alone
In my effort to become something other then me
I can't hold out much longer
An endless struggle against myself
It's all in my head the doctors tell me
But is it still when these thoughts manifest
Into actions that affect my reality
My head won't stop throbbing
How do I ask for help
When everything is wrong
I'm sorry I just wanted to be something else
Hot salty tears against my cheek
Another night spent battling my own mind
I just want to be like the galaxy
  Dec 2014 ahmo
bones
Please will
you pull
all my poems
apart
whichever way
you think
is best
I don't care
if you pull
at them gently
or hard
I just
want to be
undressed
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