It’s just like
Lemons.
That’s what they say the world is made of.
It is our choice to remain sour
Burdened by our mistakes, trials, sins.
Or to sugar-coat it all with our lies,
Being very good at ignoring truth we don’t like,
And have a lemon drop.
Move on, move on, move on
Past what we know is right,
Distract us from the sour and the bitter and the pain.

In this fast paced world,
There is no time for lemonade.

It’s too long to
Hand squeeze all the citrus,
Add the sugar,
Boil it, and then let it cool,
Adding ice and water
To make it less concentrated.
Perfect summer day treat.
No one but the
Old-timers have time to make it.

Good thing I am old fashioned.
I will make time to have lemonade.

Beautiful and
Unbreakable.

Falling in love with a boy
As wild as herself.
He, with a crooked smile that showed his teeth,
His lower lip usually split,
Dark brown hair,
Routinely over grown and hiding his
Chocolate eyes.
Perfect in every way.
She is now
Jumping on the bed in a dress,
A princess crown on her head,
While he is the rugged prince.
Still claiming that he kissed her
On her hand in the hall,
And still convinced that she is worth loving.

But only for a moment.

What do you miss? What do you want to go back for? Aren’t you sad it’s over?
Strangely (or not)
I missed nothing.
I didn’t want to turn back, only
Forward.
But wasn’t that a home you were leaving?
Home for me?
Nah,
I’ve never known a “home”
In a traditional sense.

Home for me is
Chasing rainbows
And dancing in the rain while it shines.
It is people that are real
(Not fake like the ones I come across).
It is sunsets in the afternoon,
And naming the stars at night.
Cocoa stained lips,
Hot apple cider,
Hugs and kisses,
Feeling safe but alive,
That is home to me.

Is
Falling in love
With your place in the world.

What destroys me
In the dead of night,
Now,
In the middle of the crowd.
Disconnected,
Ignored,
Left.
Just...
Try not to look at me too much.
Fading into the background,
Emotionally
Exhausted.
Talk? No, not for a while.
Who would want to?
To talk to me?
No. I am invisible.

And it's killing me.

Seconds
To decide life,
Not even recognizing it is an option.
Choosing a certain way
Isn't even a choice.
Conscious minds aren't aware of the
Struggle,
A game show where only one will win.

Make the choice before it happens.

Every day,
Every night...
It's getting worse,
It's bad.
Maybe it just doesn't want to heal.
Maybe there are words to describe
Why this rut is here,
Why it repeats over and over.
Please just ask what is wrong,
Please let the words come without
Judging, because all this
Judging repeats over and over.
Figuring all this isn't worth it,
Figuring out that being taught this way
Takes a toll on the beauty of life,
Takes and destroys this beauty.
Going back or
Going forward?

*I just wish it was different.