You make me feel like everything I ever say is wrong

I don’t want it to hurt anymore
I’m having those thoughts again

I wonder how badly I’ll hurt myself this time
I can’t feel special just because we’re going through the motions

I agonize over the few mundane interactions we’ll have today
I want more

I’m a walking corpse
Your kiss was the only thing that made me feel alive again

You’re getting too close to me
I’ll only disappoint
That’s what you told me.
What does that even mean?
I can’t change my feelings for you
but,
I can’t force you to have any feelings for me.
I’m disappointed I can’t just be who you want enough for you to even want to try.

What walls do I have to break through to get to you?
Will you even let me attempt to try?

I want someone to notice you’re happy
I want them to point it out to you
And I want you to realize it’s because of me

Wide awake with worry

Two days ago everything was so different
Now I’m dreading seeing you at work again

My mind is selfishly, unrelentingly strangling my will

I’d like to think I’m special
Something tells me I’m not

You’re hurting me
And you don’t care
Because you don’t know
I’m hurting me by not telling you

My soul has been through enough
You might disintegrate it entirely

My desperate need to please makes me substantially unstable

I’m no one
To everyone

It won’t hurt my feelings
I don’t have any left

It’s excruciating to just see you
I need to feel you

I’m not what you want
It hurts
Especially when I know I’m what other guys want
But I just want you

Who else do you talk to?
Are you making an emotional connection with them?

Your genuine conversation sends a wave of happiness that crests higher than heaven

I’m just a Venus flytrap
The boys that love me only realize it a little too late

Your validation feels like what I’ve needed my whole life

Without planning or words, you crossed the threshold
I, closed my eyes and surrendered to your kiss
An explosion of bliss

You don’t think about me at all
It should hurt more
But it’s what I expected

I miss having someone to make plans with
I miss having a date to look forward to
I miss the routine of a relationship
I don’t miss the raw agony they always end in

Your mind is a minefield
I tiptoe around the danger

We’ve skipped a few steps
Now we’re in limbo

An overwhelming feeling to leave
Sixteen minutes in
If this feeling persists
Another **** to my collection
Smaller than yours but,
Still more in addition.
Reading your poems about her,
I’m erased.
Will I ever tell you how diminished they make me feel.
You have to know I read them.
Suicide. Self inflicted.
Today, I’ll win an Oscar.

Everyone keeps acting like it’s not a big deal
Like I’m just having a bad day
They don’t realize the thing in my head isn’t like a monster under my bed
It’s a relentless killer

I want to know what’s in your head
I want to matter that much to you

I’m going to bed
With you on my lips

Please come visit me in my dreams tonight

Why are you all I can ever think about?

I wonder about what broke you
I know a piece of it lies in our pasts that are awfully intertwined
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you
I should have told you
If I could go back,
I’d tell you in a heartbeat
You make my heart beat
You make my heart race

Should I stop being so negative about you not liking me?
I don’t even know if you do or don’t
I’ve never asked
I’m too afraid of your answer
Maybe if I let in some positive hope something magical would happen

Why does it feel like something is happening?
Something...
Starting
Again
I feel the thing I don’t want to feel
I lose everyone I feel for
How do I tell him that?

Can no one see the sadness in my eyes?
Am I just that good at masking it?
Or do they just not care?

Seeing you waiting there
For me
Nothing compares

My head and heart are strangers now

I get your rotten, maggot filled scraps
I settle for them
Because they’re yours

I want nothing more than to see you
but...
Seeing you is getting harder and harder to bear

I give up.
I tell myself for the millionth time

The wondering is killing me
Should I tell you how I feel?
Regardless of how I know you feel
Would knowing you don’t like me hurt?

Why keep pretending I could be a fraction of anyone you’d actually want
We should just end whatever this thing we’re doing is

Saying your name...
A forbidden breath escaping my lips

The pain is more than a frequent visitor now
It’s a permanent tenant

Things never happen how you want them to but they always happen how they’re supposed to

I feel relieved that you proved me right

I can’t imagine you, thinking about me
I can’t imagine me, not thinking about you