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 Mar 31 Kai
alison
you cannot just walk in and out of my life.
I am not a door.
I am not a robot, so do not treat me as if my feelings don't matter, because I'm human, not anything else.
what else is new
 Mar 31 Kai
Lawrence Hall
A     n acrostic
C     an be challenging
R     efining words into patterns
0      f different meanings
S     o we can see the world
T     o be open to new ways of seeing
I       f we've a mind to
C      onsider it so
Anais-approved!
Stop waiting for your prince
on a white horse,
go and find him.

The poor man might be lost,
or stuck on an island
or something.
Can't take full credit for this one. I found it on the internet, and it just made me laugh.
 Mar 31 Kai
Poet
Live
 Mar 31 Kai
Poet
Are you alive?
Don’t test your pulse
You know that’s not what I mean
A beating heart means nothing
When your head is grey
When your breath is short
When your lungs refuse to breathe
I don’t ask if your body’s alive
I ask if your mind is
Are your breaths long?
Do you enjoy the feel of them inflating?
Do you see it for the miracle it is?
You ARE alive
There ARE people who care
There IS someone who loves you
Who would become what you are now if you were gone
You wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone
So don’t just live for yourself
Live for the people who love you
 Mar 31 Kai
Poet
My life is like a song
I’ve had more verses than I can remember
And the chorus drives me crazy from time to time
My life is like a song
I keep wondering when the bridge will come
And if the outro will follow soon after
Maybe I’ll get a chance at another verse
But maybe not
My life is like a song
The outro terrifies me
So does the bridge
For the bridge is the beginning of my end
Maybe it’ll be a nice change of pace
Maybe the bridge is years long and I have nothing to worry about
But maybe the bridge is a fleeting feeling
Two wandering gazes that meet in a crowd
A strangers hand brushing against another’s
A conversation that ends so quick when you wanted it to last forever
My life is like a song
I don’t know if you’ll be the bridge, the chorus, the outro or a verse
I can only hope that you’ll be one of them
 Mar 31 Kai
Poet
Sincerely…
 Mar 31 Kai
Poet
breathe
do you feel your lungs expanding?
do you feel you chest rising?
open
open your eyes
do you see the sun?
the moon?
the stars?
the clouds?
all of them were made for you
you
wonderful
       beautiful
                lovely
                                ­           YOU
sincerely,
someone who cares
Maybe they're right…
Maybe I’m a terrible person
A narcissistic ******* with
Manipulative tendencies
And a giant ego

Breath

Could I be a wolf
Disguised in sheep’s clothing?
Or perhaps a deceptive villain
That became an expert at
Playing the good guy part?

Breath…

What if I’m no better than
My **** father and grandfather?
What if the difference between us
Is merely circumstantial?

Breath!

You know all those dreams
Are never going to happen
Right?!

Breath!!!

It doesn't have to be like this
It could all go away, you know?

Breath, breath, breath

It will go away eventually
But not like this

Breath…
Had another episode last monday... they're becoming more frequent. Happening like every other month.
This piece is not pretty, and writing this was really hard. But it's my best effort in describing the chaotic struggle of trying to push those intrusive thoughts away and getting back the control of my mind.
I held you close to my heart
While you kept me deep
Within your teeth
Just a small piece about reciprocity.
Lately I've been feeling
Disconnected from the world
It seems such a dreadful place
It feels far away from home

So I come to my safe haven
Read and write for hours
Write and read some more
And I know I'm not alone

For I get to see each of you
The outcasts, the weirdos
The misfits, the poets...
But above all, the kind

My little beacons of hope...
My people
I love Hepo and I've met the most incredible people around here... but I'm not sure it's such a safe space anymore.
REPOST: written in Jan/25.
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