“𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘀.”
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗽.
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗻, 𝗮 𝘁𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗿,
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗱𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽.

“𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁?”
𝗔 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵, 𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄, 𝗮 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲—
𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗲, 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝗲,
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲.

“𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀
𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄.”
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱?
𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗺𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝗲?

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲... 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘀𝗵, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆, 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲—
𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀,
𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗲𝘀,
𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀,
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝘁,
𝗙𝗹𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲.
𝗗𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴,
𝗡𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝗻𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲.

𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹. 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹. 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵
𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝘄𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗯𝘀,
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄: 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗴𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘂𝗻𝘁.
𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗴𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗱𝗲.

A moth ate my clothes
But I didn't really mind
'Cause he said he was a butterfly

They said I’ve changed
That I’m different than I was in September
That they liked her more

Of course they did
She was another dead fish going with the stream
She was scared
She didn’t want to make them upset

She tried to pretend that she was sane
That she was normal

She was sad
All the time
She was trying not to cry

She’s gotten better
Why is that not good enough for you?

The scars are starting to heal
Don’t make me make new ones

They say you’re wise,
grown for your age,
like some cracked old mirror,
reflecting a world that doesn’t care.
The way you speak—
too much weight in those little shoulders,
eyes that’ve seen too many things
they shouldn’t know yet.

They say it like a compliment,
like they’re giving you a crown
for walking barefoot through fire
at seven years old,
your laugh too quiet,
your smile too rare.

They say you’re “mature,”
as if it’s a badge to wear,
but behind that mask
is a kid who never got to be one.
A soul too old too soon,
forged in the furnace of life’s *******.

It’s sad, you know—
you got dealt a hand
meant for someone twice your age,
and now they call you grown,
like it’s something to be proud of,
but all I see
is a heart that’s lost its sparkle,
and a mind that’s heavy with what it shouldn’t know.

You act adult,
because you had to,
but there’s nothing more tragic
than having to grow up
before you’ve even had the chance
to be a kid.

Sunrise, all so bright
A new start for my life
Fresh skin, new eyes
Awake beneath the endless skies

Nature’s beauty, whisper of trees
A fleeting gift upon the breeze

Enjoy it now, it won’t stay
There is sunset that always comes again
Light fades—darkness whispers its place
Symbol of decay comes every day

Still sunrise, no surprise
Leaving lessons deep inside
Remember—change to shine

But still, it sets again
Light fades and dawn returns again
The sun never stay the same

I kept the book you gave me,
the one you never finished.
The corners are still creased
where you stopped -
a moment frozen in paper.

I tried to read past it once,
but the words were ghosts
of a story I didn’t know
how to end.

So it sits on my shelf,
not quite forgotten,
not quite forgiven,
like the memory of you.

Came back
Survived the ride
Plunged into dark
Saw the light

I'm back!!!
I will now be posting
Regularly
I missed you all

we
          are
not
         the
same


        and i hope
we never are.

       you
worthless
     hopeless
undeserving
      awful
monster.

we
          are
not
         the
same.

Tw: blood, ******, violence

A cold blade presses Against my neck.
My breath fast and quick,
My heart is racing.
I squint my eyes,
But i force them open
Knowing this might be the last i see,
So I look at the sky,
The knife still at my throat.

“Go ahead. Do it. I know what you want.”

A familiar voice responds.
The warm breath tickles my ears as he responds.

“Try again.”

He loosens the grip.
I turn around.
His dark hood leaves a shadow,
Blocking his face.
My hands shake.
i watch as his steady hands pull the hood down.
I look at a perfect replica of someone I know.
Someone i know too well.

“Surprised?”
He whispers smugly.

my eyes close
And I laugh
Because I felt it
I knew,
I knew the whole time.
He pulls me back again,
gripping the blade even tighter than before.
I laugh once more,
Not from fear
But because I knew the whole time
I'm The one doing this to myself.
I'm the one holding the blade.
I'm the monster.
I'm the murderer
So I let myself slash the knife.

goodbye, old me
You never did anything for me anyway