I’m on a boat but there’s no water
I can hear what sounds like thunder but there’s no matter
Are my eyes playing tricks on me ?
Have my mind become mad?
I watch for the clouds but there’s not a one insight,
The sense of sudden doom in my sweat
The urgency within my bones to get it right
Laying on my bed tonight
I can’t deny the fact that ...there’s something that keeps hitting my head and making think all night I can’t see it yet but I just sense it ...that things are not alright...
But I’m getting tired I’m sleep and rest maybe that’s what I need hmm ...night

I tried to hold the light Deep within the chambers of my Spirit
I have tasted the joy of a Dear Savior
His blood on my hands were wiped by his grace  
His tears were on my shoulder
And his friendship was royalty.
I asked him why do you come down to see me there's many in this world and he will always told me i" am"
he had a peaceful  pause ..
As my fate was sealed
And my name was dirt
My hands shook
And my mouth open with hyme
And said :

Don't you see what I'm doing ! Do you see what there doing ? We are ***** my friend oh so ***** I'm nasty oh so nasty!

I'm breaking and I'm not lonely
I took your son and made him my something
We do things that are nothing
Temporary nothings all around me
Signs of the times
I say all the time taking my time gets harder sometimes.

I gotta catch myself
I'm falling right threw hands
Is there a way to come back and will even have the strength as I start backing up his eyes oh his eyes felt they were whispering things to me.
Will you be waiting..

The closet is open,
Im cleaning it out .
The waves of a problem... I'm tossing.

My heart isn't broken,
I just stitched my mouth
I'm tired of believing.. I'm exausted.

Causing  commotion,
I see I'm left out
Where am I driving...oh I'm trying.
I'm trying..
Who's driving?

play in sky

I'm at point where my fingers are tired of satisfaction,
The thoughts in my room cover the air like mist in the bathroom when you taking a shower.
What's life without hardwork?

It's been long oh a long time coming,
But I know
Ima make it one day pull up at your job and put a smile on your face...
..Smile on your face!
Make sure you ain't giving up on me cause soon I'll be saying
"Do you see me now"?
Do you..?

Where do you go when your love is being compromise?
Next to a digital world that makes you fantasize.
Kissess from a industry that dosen't help you fight
I'm below cement when it comes to what's right..
I need the stars at night to show me there's still light and hope in the sky
I need a sun so I can wake up to a fresh start.
Leave a world full of me and say

It's been long oh a long time coming,
But I know
Ima make it one day pull up at your job and put a smile on your face...
..Smile on your face!
Make sure you ain't giving up on me cause soon I'll be saying
"Do you see me now"?
Do you see me now?

ivdont deserve him he just little to perfect he just alittle worth it,
That's why he gotta come threw quick quick!
Hit me when you done I'll be your number one shift.
I need some company
I need some company,

Can you find time for Me?
Was there somewhere that I needed to be ?
All these questions under the marajuana
I forgot how it feels to hear the silence when I find home

I need closure I need this
I need that and I need a kiss
Haven’t been home man it feels like I’m tossed like the sea as the foam is so white so is my lips I tell the truth and I’m finding out it’s not enough you. Man this...this this *****

The flames of it all is becoming blue my dear,
And privacy has become your only hope
But why you need your phone threw the night?
In the car
All alone?
Go ahead neglect my time for you.

The earth is spinning around for you
And all I tried to do is give it to,
But now it’s going slow so slow...
My mind questions “is this end?”
“Is this the man you want for you”
As the airplanes fall like
No! If you don’t wanna stay you can go!
It seems my coals are torched in vain
Come quick before I call on the rain
My emotions heading back to my brain
Waiting for you
Do you hear the thunder to!
Are you still hear my love?
Do you see the thunder to!
I’m holding back because
Do you hear the lightening to?!
Let’s just talk this out
There’s nothing left to do!
Who is calling you?


Come to me
I’ll come to you
Ignore my thunder love
I will mend my clouds because
I do
Love you
It’s true
Fire
Engulf me
Show me you really care
Even with your sins right there
Do you
Love me
Is it true?

it’s been over 2 years and I still think about your face
The other told me no empathy he just wants his things
I have cried my tears so much my heart has swimming lessons today
You don’t know how it feels
You don’t know the pain
For 2 whole years it’s like someone has come and uproot me away
Just threw me away
Just made me wait
Every song I know
Every time I think
I tried to let this go
But it’s becoming to known
It’s becoming to fake
Some say let these things just go
I have no I have it won’t let me go ...
I need some saving grace

Looking deep in your eyes just to find myself
And I find myself getting lost there
Lost my mind and I lost my hair
Grey areas and deep flares
Deep strokes on intimate
So my golden days is for you my dear.

You’re not in love
If you’re not scared to lose them just alittle.
You’re not in love
If you don’t check your phone for no reason just to see what there doing
You’re not in love
If they don’t get in your head and on your skin and in your nerves just a tad.
If I thinking to much my bad
I end all of my sentences with a sigh in good times
Bad times I’m okay with being alone until the next hour where I gaze at all the faces around me and non of them are yours.
Distant loving is like eidolon
Utopia is waiting when you tell me to be patient

Lord Ima be honest I don't know how to do this..

Another Day Another dollar  alittle faith  a lot of power,
I sense the weight I feel your power I speak the truth they call me liar.

Lord im be honest I don't know how to do this

Stay up don’t look down you been down this road
Yes it’s lonely but you been lonely before
They say not to worry about money but even God told you to til the lad until you die
So this ...this is why this is good
When they ask you why you work so much
Just say what I would
“I Have to “

Hanging on by faith so what's holding me?
I'm not numb I just can't carry my feelings.
I'm like a ear with a earphone in it.
The song I hear is "You can do this, your gunna make it."
When I take them out I look up and start walking.
Went in with expectancy left with with expectancy.
I will make it threw this nothing is holding me ...
But I'm hangout with faith soon nothing will go tell something and most will say well he's got something why is he still driving because there's a day where everything will try to be with me it will get jealous at me and faiths love you see then there will be anything trying to hold my hand but let them speak all of them will walk with me one day but at the end it will be faith that will lead that's been leading me .

Okay I can do this.
Okay I can make better peom then the last
When all I want to talk about
Is ….
Holding you or making memories between countries flask
As were drunk off seeing different cities and states
I would wake you up with pancakes from Albuquerque.
Somewhere in the sand of time where hidden trails would engulf us…
And sense I know you love the beach I would stay for a while in the water just to see your smile.
Okay I can do this
Okay I can make a better poem if you ever read this

If I’m yours then you gotta say it,
Show me who I am when I’m around you if we only have 2 hrs....
I am not mocked I see everything even though I don’t address it
That just mean I’m not dressing up your lies for credit
I just want you to love me the way I deserve to be...
I just want you to want me

Do you know how much people I owe?
Do you know how much people I dropped?
Paying back my enemies with only Love is still enough..
It's a statement not an answer.
Couldn't answer you about money cause I give and it's gone I'm in danger that my love will be bot one day after the wedding I'm sorry I have given her more then what I My can question.
Under God in God is more then what I can fathom.
More nothing lesser power something greater I've become a greeting card to my oppressor and a gift to my brother.
But I'm noticing I'm sitting on a shelf as "oh I'll unwrap it later for it was just a gift from a Lover"...

Will it be too late unwrap it one day?

Youre the best I ever had,
In a room full of cash
Compare to you it’s  scrap.

it
Takes
So
Finesse
I
Seen
Your
Finesse
He can’t
Know
finesse

****** don't need to last
And ****** are only 7 seconds
It would  be our Love that keep us together

That old familiar fee
ling that old familiar self how old am I gunna get until I’m to old to tell?
Listen to the excuses put my regards on the shelf until it’s tipping over and hit me underneath the belt.

Have your heart ever melted in your hands?
Or just sat down in your stomach?
Why ...what happen..?
My friend I'm Sad
One of my best friends has moved and all I see is black
I closed my eyes and my new just asked what's wrong ...and I said my true feelings and responded back

"Night"

What's this
What's that
Leave me on read
That's Sad...
When you need to go forward cause who use to hold you back,
But your forward is nothing like the last
Guess I'm walking alone
Have your heart ever layed there with you?
And breathing was the only thing that kept y'all going

I can say that I did but I can't say that I didn't
Mix drink with alcohol I forgot why your listening
I ramble about the old I talk about the new I am a emotional wreck who are you?
Everything in my head becomes a drop of what I'm drinking
You didn't even save me and you saw that I was sinking
Just trying to get information and now that's 3 people in my life that has walked out for no apparent reasoning
Up on stage for no apparent reasoning
Unless there's something I suppose to say like:

"I can say I did but I can't say I didn't "

The old and familar stain.

Is it me or my room?
My hands or my tenishoes?
The way I talk or just my mouth?
I don't know why I go this rout..

Honestly
Honestly I’m trying to stay focus
I forgot what we were just talking about
Honestly

My heart hurts my stomach is filled with liquor my best friend
Who is but who isn't when you was infront of them they would all say they were but run for my money my debt is not paid so I don't know I'm drunk and I love it

I don't kno wat to talk about I don't know how to feel.
I'm covered in I wanna talk and I wanna chill

I just feel Im making effort
But I don't have all of the answers
I can't lie I don't have it all together okay..
So Here I am sitting in my *****
Doing things I said I wouldn't
Don't be alarm if I just sleep in today..
When  I'm away they say they miss me
When I'm there they sit but ignore me
I look around and say what is happening?

I give up on trying make things happen
Text me nie my heart is breaking up my friend..
I'm losing connection again

My soul at ease
My actions despised
My mind is on me
Crying like I wish I was fine
What did I do to you
What did I say to make you think
What really happen to make you go
What happen to make you leave?
If it was a girl then my bad
If it was a girl then okay I'm fine
If it was a girl then wow cool story
If it was a girl why the fudge are you acting funny!!!
I hate how that happens
I hate how this feels
I hate that when you see me it's like you never known me for years

I beg the differ I can't tell a lie if that was only true then I'll stay with you tonight. Eye for an eye is clever of words bunch politics is still Men on earth listen close to who you believe like shapes they all fit a puzzle in me. We the People was a good trick I can say making me believe that I have the right to speak when you didn't make my mouth or my hands today...peaceful pieces are broken on the floor and you tell me you're ready to show me how to breath. I'm naive to your plan but I don't think you have one because that's just a number and you're always mindful about someone
How far was the fall? How far am I coming? Before you tell me or **** me to say "he Knows something".

Snuggled waiting for you to get home **** it THIS IS NOT A POEM!
this my first time in this might be my last
I'm tired of merry go rounds and places I can't have fun. You were everything but you're worried about everything and you're everything feels like everything but getting distracted by the fights and the other couples smiles.. no please no don't think I Ughhhhh no I love you oh here you go not listening to my feelings feels like our speech is shattered and both thinks we're out to cut the cord we put around our necks  sigh* I'm tired of hanging for no reason what's next I'm not looking forward to Valentine's bliss not cause of you but the day after this..... Help me I'm bout to drown in something else

My angel just became my devil get a lot of information and they... leak it out they want the truth  but they can't handle it my truth..

I'm messed up I've been with people only had one love and the rest was men and the one I love had a babe for a guy when we was together..? How would you feel if your true love ****** someone and had to tell u that they was pregnant for someone else and your friend wanna ******* and his friend watches .. I took a sip and layed down when I layed down I fell so far away I drip in the basement now my savior just told me " truth Hurts" that's all !!! That's all you have to say !! Well truth will hurt I will become higher then Saturn higher then my critics the world will mimic what they didn't my love will be soo high only God is the one that can sense it !!!

I sense a urge!!!
No purge.. That's the government. And it looks like it's getting worst.

I believe in my president and the IsIs thing is only but a dime to a knickles worth.

If you get me then you get me I'll explain my desperate words.

Men covered in devices can't even see the perverse that's why I'm pointing out the things that just in reverse.

Love!
love!
love!

Look at in reverse!!!!!

The crows the cats the animals are disappearing from the earth,
Abortion is just something you do but why tell me why does it look like DEATH is walking in to the hospital?!

There's more Rappers then rockers now but that just shows me time is RAPPING up.

Lot of religions but most can't even back it up.

There's an urge to find your self because if you don't know who you are there trying to take you to hell.

do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face
Do you realize
That Beauty is vain.
Do you realize
Your heart is home ..to me
Do you realize
Can't hold all this weight

Do you realize
Everyone you know someday ..will die?

Cold but feeling the snow isn’t so bad,
Falling hurts but getting up isn’t to hard
If I was fast I don’t think I would stop
If I couldn’t see you i don’t think I would give up
To search for you no...never will I let up
Having me here why do you keep looking
Give you a cup and you tell me that’s too much
Sip my love don’t be scared to feel another’s emptiness

Unsettled and fazed
Slow speaking and deep thinking
Hands numb but heart beating
Eyes quiver from a drop of not knowing

And it’s not like I haven’t been listening it’s just I haven’t been asking...
Now that I am it is me who needs the fire to clean me from what my mind is portraying..

He told me he had *** after the kiss and now I can’t move ... even though I speak the words are like smoke and vanish fast we speak and go back inside but I wanted to run but where? Where would I go ?

He tells me I can’t get it like that but I don’t believe him like how can you tell me the truth when u didn’t tell me the truth before, and now I’m looking at my mirror like I don’t know who I am 4 days after ...like now to be exact,
I find myself with headache *** I’ve been thinking so much and tomo is the big day Tomo I shall know if you never prayed before I’m asking for it..
For am a stranger to heaven knocking on the door....
I know I should of never been where I was
I still don’t know where I am.

Tell me something
Are you down to let go
Of all our somethings
And frame a new photo...

You’re so worth it
All my silver and Gold
Babe it’s nothing
Compared to those hands that I hold..

You were broken and I was shattered by you,
All the pieces I sold just to buy it back just to learn that LOVE IT SELF IS LIKE A PAINTING

Many colors, many steps But the most beautiful thing about love is knowing you are a  mess and yet somebody can Love you threw your mess

“Like a Canvas to a paint brush”

Let’s not start over let’s pick up where we left off cause I still love you threw all this mess.

The red eye just keep my heart beating your secret safe with me.
Just drive I broken our mirror so our past won’t look so tempting..

I never thought it felt this way to quit!
Failure taste sooo sweet.
I’m not afraid anymore
Forgive me

I’ll swing here just at least they found me.
Stay close dear the note on the floor says
“I wish that you were here”

I never thought it felt this good to quit!
Failure taste sooo sweet.
I’m not afraid anymore
Don’t help me.

I believe The Greatest thing that God has given Us Is Forgiveness.
If we didn't have it....it will be Very..Very.. Unforgiving.
I don't know...Just thinking.

They say that I changed
They gone say I went away-way-way-way-way-way-way.
Wondering how I changed
when they didn't care if I went away-way-way-way-way.
tried to hide the pain
And I tried to make them stay
Plz-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.

I can't stand stand this place...
I can see your pain plz wait-wait-wait-wait.
I'll be here okay..
Ill wait-wait-wait-wait-wait

I'm almost 20 now
Almost 20 wow
In his 20 how?  Did he make out those..

Teen years with some sprite
Scremo that's my type
Chase thoughts like all night
My head was running like a sick night,
Those sick nights were pleasant till the morning time....just like those..

Child days where my pockets fade
And that bus came.
Innocence oh innocence  I can call your name,
And yes I know I run away but I tell you I love when you chased me.
The pretty girl in the class couldn't faze me my zipper was still unchanging.

I'm almost 20 how?
Almost 20 wow
In his 20 now...I know something's I couldn't see from a mile in age
But it's ok
I was young now I am old but never have I seen the righteous forsaken.

I’m a fraction..
Let me explain
Half of me understands, half of me gets it.
we been...Ive been living a lie
So close to the truth it’s like air to the naked eye
Careless perceptions and false prophesies leading to a demise
It’s like he who created the hologram understanding why did I make such images here that’s not living ?
Like the airplanes that fly over our heads some may read and learn most will not get this!
But I truly believe heaven is not a religion!
God is not distant!
And the devil is not Omni potent!
Trump is in office for a reason!
Obama was here after the rain as the rainbow was and yet still made the homosexuals a form of benevolence...
I would say wake up but I’m truley thinking most men won’t get this even there dreams became reality .... as a rich man spending his money but wanting compassion and love cause IT CANNOT SPEAK TO HIM THE WAY HE HOLDS SO DEARLY ON TO IT.
....wake up
...dreams that  have come true are called ...
Visions
Which makes all who understands the times are visionary’s
Such people are awake even when there sleep and those that are sleep is asleep will miss it

Vod:
No longer alive inside something missing, i dont know why..

Mr.zeal:
I'm no longer in fear of the beautiful scandalous night.

Vod:
I find a bright light that gives me new insight and winds me, im away from the evil that blinds me.

Calling myself from a mirror I can't hear what I'm saying I'm too fragil in disguise. Ringing ..it's finally ringing in my head that Ima have to make a decision one day and it terrifies my soulless emphasis ways, having a conversation with Godless taste drinking down my lustful place I picked up the call to my own heartbeat

Voices!
Oh He spoken..
Mystery and unseen things!
I promise!
My ears are open..
Like seas and oceans!
My heart waves too your fortress..
My Rampart my shelter my lover!
I hear you even with all these voices.
Amen

I never felt this power before
Entertaining inner giants that was restricted from my heart
You... The Man I want is caged with his past and it's ripping me apart
Strengthening us seems like there feasting off the secrets
Losing my soul to a blooper
In other words funny how my life is becoming a joke
Rumors consumed him and I'm seeing light threw the dark.
Was I suppose to save you or just love you from a distance?
Looking from the inside out these giants is shadows I guess I was entertaining  myself..

Here I lay gasping for words
When it’s all in your head you pick yourself apart just find out even though you are a Big Adult ..you still feel like sometimes like a letter that is lower case.
I’m in a lower place but my room hasn’t changed
I roll over to find thinking stains
My head won’t stop like a fossit and fossils of Dinosaurs and nephilims uhh what I’m saying is I’m getting Older and I still wrestle with these younger days

Takes time with a wounded heart,
Cause he haven't healed.

Takes time with a broken hand,
Cause he likes to feel.

Takes time with a hurting man,
Cause he likes the pills and likes the meal.

..well I'm half the man I use to be
...well it's more then chance that's saving me.
..well I'm bad with steps when I walk for me.

Takes time with a healing man,
Well his hand is healed.

Takes time with a wounded heart,
Well he loves foreal.

Takes time with hurting man,
Well he holds the pill and leaves the thrill

Well I haven't been the man I use to be.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

James 4:1