Regrets... Mmm yea I got some.
Sense were talking about them do you mind if I told you some?

I regret for leaving,
I regret for staying there..
I regret for leaving mommy,
I regret for staying with you bobby.
I regret for the distance,
I regret for being to close.
I regret for going outside in the cold just to shoot bball that night when my whole family went to go watch a movie.
I regret for putting you up so far that when you hurt me it crumbled the years between us.
I regret for kissing him,
I regret for kidding her.
Now my demons throw rocks at me no matter what the size is.
I regret for not listening,
I regret for well...listening.
Being hard head in both places
Selfishness and offended is the worst when it comes to hearing.

But one thing I don't regret is everyone of them being in my life .. I love you.

Here I am breathing again,
Walking narrow will sometimes trip you forward.
The love I have is reasonable but the questions sometimes..rehtorical.

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
They will kick you wen you down
When all you was looking for is grace
Only God has Grace.

I don't want to just make it
I wanna succeed
No job no money no GED
The further I get in life it's like people passing me
When I'm not even racing them I'm stuck back in line at the dmv
Trick or treat my heart issues is haunting me
More money more problems just a saying what I'm saying I know I need to eat.
Be or beat to be or not to be is that the job for me if it is why arnt they hiring me ?
I'm tired over all and I haven't made it over the hill yet
I'm not saying I want a private jet but what's wrong with renting one and owning ur own sets?
This is bigger then being rich this better then having *** this is endurance to be who I need to be in this moment.
I've been knocked down and out I'll train harder I will work harder not for applause but for the man I am

Remember me?
I was the awful I was the scary one.
Ooh Remeber me?
I was the broken I was the hopeless
You couldn't see
My heart was frozen but you could not tell.

Well now I see now I see I messed up,
Belove.

Strong days
Weak nights

How can a good day turn into a Bad night?
How can a bad person be good tonight?
French kissing a thought which base am I on?
Thinking heavily while the stars hold me in there palms

Flowing with poison feel me with shots of wine.
Cares not allowed turn off my heart for awhile .
I tasted  you’re love in my mouth.
You’re words they turn into clouds
And now it’s hard to see why we are still
But I’m here
And you here

You call me a freak
I call you threw the week
You like the way I speak
How it makes you feel weak
Can you call me when you’re free?
Cause I’ll make time for what you need
I’ll find the time for you’re needs
I’ll show u all you need is me

Flowing with love dont need no shots of wine.
You turn my heart into shots of my life
You ******* tongue threw this night
You’re words turn into clouds
I’m lost in you and you’re lost in we
Cause I’m here
And you are here

I can't lie to you,
I'm a messed up guy
Weak but strong
Trustworthy sack of ****.

Sing to let my feels out of my home
And I will never let them back in cause I've been kicking myself out sense day one.

I can't smile at everybody it's something I learned but everybody deserves to be loved including the enemies that was there on day one.

Christmas hanging in my future,
Such lights cast small figures
And I just figured out...I’m not scared anymore.
I’m no longer scared of you either
Love can be so scary because you don’t know if the other is interested in you like you are to them
So you create dark figures to cloud your mind
And now you have sky full monsters
I’m tired...
and all i want to do is rest in the fact that
I’m yours
I’m not scared no more
I’m going to bed

I'm at a lost for words Theirs nothing to say,
I sit in silence wonder "what lead me to this place"?
how did my heart become so lifeless and cold
...where did the Passion go?

When did all my efforts seem like chasing the wind,
i used up all my strength and theirs nothing left to give
I've Lost the feeling and I'm numb to the core.
...I can't fake it anymore.

"Here i am at the end i'm in need of resurrection"

You speak and all creation fall on its knees,
you raise your hand and calm the ways of the raging sea
you have a way of turning Winter to spring!
Make something out of all this suffering

Is it gold that stole my eyes?
Is it Silver that my Legs run to?
or  is it the Diamond that makes my heart blaze..

NO For these are still materlial even if my wife says "i thought you gave me this for eternal we will forever be, Isn't that what you meant?"

On that Day i will look at her and say even if theses things weren't Manifested By God would it stop you from being my Wife my Friend the Love of my Life?

and as she sums up the Pride and Humble together she will say "Well Here Take the ring back what are you trying to say..?
Then I will tell her like I told My daughter like I will tell my son like i told my Friends..

"For it is Love that makes us rich and how much you can love your enemy and Bless those who spit and curse and Nag on you will make you rich forever."
Some of these words were not my own for it was a ancient Man who loved me so much that he died to show me and Now i know..

LOVE is better then riches
and Silver and gold is only but a reflection to its Light and Beauty.

Say you'll be mine say will be fine say will be together.
Take what you like take what I find all I see is you.
Baby  come thru don't waist no time I can love you right.
Kisses like wine I'm drunk Tonight and it's all because you uughnaaa..

I just wanna love you
I will never ever put nobody up above

You need a cape cause dame you fly,
For this ride you gon' need a seatbelt
I'll drive you crazy and let the seat melt
Never took Molly but Molly took me hell...
..Ha Heaven knows that it's a cheap thrill.

My past tell me that I need help my future never pick up the phone now
Neglect my family for my own tales
Cause I ***** the fairy of its own tales.
Distance lover became my worst song
They wanna bad guy mix Danny Glover
Old Micheal plus stupid rich the one that won't talk foolishness but sell the Sh
So I'm fooling them a good guy that's been lying that he's hurt but have a smile cause he made it threw it when honestly deep down in his heart he's full of heartbreak and smarter then the average rich kid cause money can't buy happiness so I smile cause I'm really smiling over some stupid sh and breaking over my ignorance

I'm getting on my own nerves,
Me iggy threw the vains where my feelings and my understanding flirts.
The second I do I really don't want,
When I speak to them they just really seems like hate to talk..
But what am I talking about I'm confused my own brain into thinking.
I want what I want but really I need conviction & love something to keep me on my feet everyday.

How I hate it I want to erase it
I'm messing with fire how can i play with it?
I'm so dead wrong I'm not living right
How can I be so close and yet so Far then the fight?
Somebody come somebody help me fight! Before something goes on and I become numb to this pain
To your grace
To my lane I haven't figured out I'm haunted!
By my own skeletons in this place see i thought I'll be well pass this lane I need to wake up before I end up on his bed catching Z's in this Wave

I wake up with the musk of Rain
My lovers thoughts drip drops inside my brain.

Petals in the Frame
Sin as red as scarlet
Moving different places but I can't seem to function.
It's written on my face but some how they can't read it.
Driving threw my city just to say "I'm leaving".

I know I've been far from home
I keep my circle small but all these squares don't ever bother you..
Tell me what's the petals for..?
What's the Roses for..?
Because my sin is red but my love is for The most high..

So I've made it home

Are you still there?
I stare but I can't hear
Further then what I know
Yet I don't where..
Where I am at this point
Point me to you and raise your head
I'm coming home
Are you still there?

Drinking ciroc before work has become a tool,
The wrench of life is to know so much but act like a fool.
Until it’s time to play in there rules
Then show them the bottle of truth
So truth is
I love you but I’m no ones foot stool
I can pick u up but that hard shell Capricorn I’m no mule
So ******* don’t worry about the parties my democratic energy will give u medicine
Isn’t something that the lovers of this world gets looked upon as the bad guys when the credits end?

Rumor has my name
Left me broken for days
For years I came
For months I go
Still the lips of others burns my bones
Until I saw that one day
They will be burned to
Not by the words they spoke
But by the heart that they couldn't stop
Burning out.

"gossip betrays a confidence you know.."

I never knew how much I thought about you..How I work myself up just by thinking about you.

I traded a million words for just a glimps of you, nothing but a dream has been strangling my tooth.

It's like I can't speak...I can't speak but I'm tired of screaming at you!

Man these sheets....these sheets hold my weight and tears for you..

But the truth of all we been threw, I made up it's like I was running in place

....You know?

Petals of whispers they grow and they listen,
I'm now hearing the truth and not covering up my ears.
....Listen....Listen I needed to hear the death  of disobedience,
I'm becoming the man they hate the man I needed
The boy that prayed the man that needs it.

You was never mine so nevermind never have I thought about somebody so much to the point where I can't believe I'm spending another night.

You see what I see and now I can't breath I'm suffocating in another flipping persons life..
Is this how my life is suppose to go tonight?

To feel like your in a relationship without the hugs and Kisses or like the one that always have to end the fight.

Welcome to the Saddest Story where you can't even Get mad cause Your the love you have is not from this world just roll over and say Goodnight cause in the morning you know there gunna need you right?

Yeah...okay Well goodnight

I’m alone and I can her the silence
Trying to hide behind the smoke
But all I can think of how far I am
God I know you see me
I’m tired and I don’t even now why
All my energy is spent with life
Why am I so far from you
Where did my heart walk to
I have someone laying next to me and I can’t even feel the thrill of company
Who’s looking for me ?
Who’s searching for me?

Full of ***** my love is spreading on my stomach
Even though that’s fragment picture.
The smell of my sin has bowed on the alter
Losing my friend this year has made me shiver
And fighting my dad until he’s in the hospital saturated my mirror

Am I the bad guy  in the story ?
Am I the loser who has to be tormented with my actions
Saying sorry had become nothing more like vinegar
And I’m flooded with things I have done like salt in the water

I never wanted to be apart of you’re past,
But looking back isn’t all bad
What’s good is a under statement
Like a gay guy hiding in the basement,
Shouldn’t it be the closet?
So he can try on anything he wants before he tell the world
“Cadet!...I like you’re private”
See I salute anyone who stand up to there past,
So if  you looking back at my flaws and when I use to grab *** then that’s your bad

Build my mind then the flood came, Loss more then I ever gain.
Drenched clothes from the compromised waves.
How cold the drips of change!
Everything I am once again caving in,
If I stay I'll drown in this place..
As I watch from a distance it breaks and crumbles
Under the sea I found out it's all mud
I'm tired of making sand casltes and Caves
All I wanna do is live in love

The thing I'm pleasing is getting more and more less pleasing,
Okay I'm breathing but I'm dying everyday.
Have to make these wrongs right before they turn into a total mistake.
The one I want is getting further everyday
The one need is getting higher each day
Looks like the days are getting dark for the Greats
I tripped and haven't got up yet
I can't sleep cause my mind in a trance
All I want was someone to tell me I'm the best I'm they one love I love the way you dress.
But all I got is some friends that chill and take off..it just like vapors plus mist.
oh God my God this world don't have nothing for me I hope I don't miss.

All ain't lost
But i feel so lost
Tired of love
But I need this love
Can you hear me cause
I'm whispering but
My heart is just..
It's just...
Too much
Like I feel like I lost it
The colder the days the hotter I become,
Burning threw thoughts my friends my heart I cant it's just..
It's just ...
Too much.
I don't know but I know this..
I love this.

If it ain’t worth it then what you want?
Make it rain, make it pour
If it ain’t love then what you on,
make it rain, make it storm.

Ashes dripping from heaven

Hands shattered from something

I don't remember why though.

I can't control it

Trollin...

I can't control it

Scrolling..

Hells burning my minutes

Anti  I'm anti depressing when I sit I'm counting my blessing when I ride this time I'm walking stop thinking been tripping and sinking feeling like I've been living backwards..

Tryed to break my fall maybe that's why I don't hug myself my arms and hands are shattered.

As I sit smelling coals all the time I burned threw just to be another clueless snooze.

I'm awake
I'm Awake

Ashes dripping from heaven.

Drowning in these thoughts again,
Good friends with gills now were selfish.
You slipped I slipped that's what these hooks do they **** us from our lying lips.
My words stand over me sometime I guess that's why you don't understand this.
I just Can't stand trips! I fall worse then august in this thoughtful seasons.
Rowing threw my head my actions propose to some of these guilt trips.
..now I'm sea sick.
But all life's puzzles will fall in to pieces. I asked to come and walk with you on these thoughts with faith so I may be descent.

As you calm me...my words whisper
"There's no greater friend other then Jesus".



Just to be honest, even now my knees creases.

I'm tired of being second.. My eyes lose direction when I think of this planet.

My palms so hot and my heart is drawn to lyrics.

There words trace my life and my appearence, forget what they say cause all they ever want is someone who will give them attention !

Those idols! Those Golden and silver boys and Girls that gave there soul for attention!
But who am I? Getting ****** in of there current life...are they dead or just not alive?

Existence is what they prize
Living is what I love, to love is what makes life my life is like night all black and the only light that comes in is the son behind me giving me light to see..

I'm tired of being second, but when did my strength have to do with what I do best?

"I rather be second and do my best then to second guess of who I am just to exist for there attention."

Over crowded but so alone
My demons met me at the cornerstone
And Jesus Died on the cross bone
So death is easy but you go first..
Faith lives when your walking on it's single verse
I'm excluded and including my angel even my angel dust
Cause my addiction trying to prey on me
See it lies and it tells me that I will set you free,
When it's really just drowning me
Lake of fire never felt  so good
But it burns when I think about your love.
Luciferians Christians and paganism
I'm fighting religions nemesis is really just men trying to govern this
This world man I need a real analysis
But let me shut up and get back to the basics..

"Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven".

"If this cup can pass from but not my will your will be done."

Glitter ain't Gold and
Small aint bigger
little belittled
pics of image
Sort of sorcery
Vexed or vision the visionary
Entertain the dictionary
Color the word Missionary
Detox from every touch
Even though you love the inventory
It's just a Selfie at the end of the day.

I have made love to myself so much til my hands started cramping.
Entertaining a thought until I am covered in exaggeration.
Knowing it’s not gratifying
I reached for tinder but the place has guys that are behind the screen like roach in the tv
It’s just infested with broken hearts that are cracked differently but in the same notation.
Then it came to me like lightening threw the clouds million miles away
Do I love myself?
Have I took out the time to look at myself in the mirror and be comfortable in my own skin?
I haven’t done this in so long that it felt like I was cheating
I want to know what that smells like?
How do you wake up with a smile on your face ?
How do you workout with the theory of just being the best you?
I desire to be alone and don’t have to call on the stars or my mom to make me feel appreciated.
TODAY
I APPRECIATE AND I APOLOGIZE
I. WASNT ALWAYS THE ***** UP THAT I TAUGHT MYSELF TO BE
So forgive me for not giving you enough time self
Cause it shows during all the times I looked for happiness in people
I’m ready to do what I can and need to
I’m ready to experience a life where I just wake up and be totally fine by myself

Roses are Red so is my Blood
Blue as the ocean I'm so deep in Love
My arms stretched but my feet are dumb .
Because my mind is flying but my feet seem numb
So I jump with excitement I jump like a fool ...
I'm fighting my own life to give it up for you
To see you
To hear you
To be with you forever has will and becoming my desire to Live with you
Seems like this body is the only thing that's keeping me away from you.

Is this the faith of me?
Yes..
Thank you God I'll end this with amen.

2 months in this place I call room,
Thinking thoughts of Glory and what have I done.
Is it wrong for me to think why didn't they just say my name?
Thought we were friends but in the end they didn't even recognize my face.
I'm not the type to leave that bitter cause if I were you I would of done the same, but if it was me and you lost your mind I would been on the ambulance and stare right in your face.
It's my fault oh it's my fault for smoking and wanting to be my own stain.
But my heart is broke cause I wonder if I didn't call would you still think of my face.
Like my last cup of tea I'm on my last cup of "this is my friend my brother my mate"...
Ryan if you leave I tell you this heart will be a empty wasted vacant space.
To tell the truth I'm laying here and I think life is great.
Glory to God hope he remembers me when he come back if this is the end of days.

Feels like I'm shadow boxing and I haven't got in the ring, I'm kinda hesitant to anyone now who say I miss you and let's be friends or smoke this with me today.
Stained with glory, rock bottom I'm climbing out the lost place

When I was younger I use to stay up so I wouldn't wet the bed.
Now my thoughts leak out my heart of what my past did.
As I try and try not to fall asleep, I told  dreams "you win".
Where my feet goes..? I don't know it's up to them.
For I Followed my heart and even that sometimes is number 10..
With a side dish of tears and seasoned pies.
I use to stay up so I would not get my covers wet,
So I stopped drinking thoughts so my morning won't be upset.

Is it bad that I wait for death?
Is it bad that I stayed up all night just to see the mess?
Was it Good for me to sleep without sheets as I cover myself with "I'ma do best"?

Friendly fire, friendly fire!
I cut the wires he's got some wires..
No undercover I'm under covers
I'm understanding and underlining
It's exasperated and *******
To my mind to orchestrate this life I'm living.
Always feeling wrong but it feels so good gripping  life from a tip to receive simething out of it
My suspicion is always before me and my sin has elevated
My lips are weary so my heart becomes like lemons.
Bright and radiant

I kinda play dumb
But I’m not though..
All the things you say is so unoriginal
I’m back in my corner thinking what the **** to do
I gotta fish out compliments for the stuff I do
Sinking in tears I made you cry I know
But was they even real?
How did we get here i need Tylenol
I’m tryna show u that I’ll be here even when the sky is falling though.

We shouldn’t be together
We shouldn’t fight at all
Cause the time that we hAve I don’t think we even have at all

You wanna live you’re life then go live you’re life,
You don’t have to drag me just to show me you didn’t want this for life.

I hope that you see one day that my tension was good
Whether we’re still together making memories or broken up

Times are cold but I'm sick of old waves saying there new people with known names tell me there truth and selling my stuff for there clues just to find out they died to soon and the only thing that stands is a mic and a song 45 years go by if your not Elvis or Micheal we don't know you..
What to soon? Is 50 years old good for you ? Looking at and looking up to a Idol is two different mindsets luckily I got them both raging like sea on sand counterfeits people push people to the limits just to say "I got more power then you!" Then Die like the great beast in forest ....get ready folks I bet they have another show there bout perform in it..

This watch is so loud now
Here in silence I can hear the silence now
It hasn’t hit home but talking about home dame I’m sitting in myself right now.
I think I just got broken up with but I don’t feel like im broken now..
Wow is it hard to love me ?
Wow am I hard to love?
I went the distance everybody
And why does it feel like I can’t even get a foot?
I would scream I would get mad
But time is talking ...shh can you hear the love?
Neither can I ....
All I can hear is the clock right now
Here in the silence I can hear the silence..
Like someone with a I don’t care shrug.

I can't get no rest
I want the Lexus or Benz
Cause when we were young I didn't have ish
I gotta get some rest
Leave my mind that will be best
Told my boyfriend i love him but treat him like **ish
I never tell him I need him
Only when I need something from him
Tell'em I love him when he first says
ish

Rick Ross pineapples, Selena Gomez
Drake, Rihanna, MICHEAL Jackson So bad
Future beast mode, Billie illish sad ***

Song after song and I still think about your fine ***

Cold but hot hot but cold,
My sheets are waves cause I toss and I turn on that yellow brick road.
My nose is closed for the evening so we will be taking orders threw the mouth.
Pill popper everything slow
I hope this don't take to long

Ima beast I'm the devil I'm in chaos every night cause I know who he really is..
My diary knows who he really is even that didn't want to come and spend a night for I am intoxicating ....drip...drip..

Sicko run threw my veins
Sicko run threw his home
Please ignore the possibility of walking alone.
Alter egos or ****** life
It wants me to be someone today and another at night.
But I swear and pray and those hold me tight.
Sicko, sicko
Get lost tonight

Breeze colder then ice cubes and gems baby
Heart hotter then sunbeams and my old lady.
Just crazy how you can save me what I been threw lately
"Don't play me" if I wanted to i set the record baby.
"You fake as ever"! Wait just because I didn't have enough room mrs.daisy?
No room dosent mean cut our friendship up that's amazing..
How a bunch of junkies and one flunkie can make you get mad and say you never wanna talk to me!
On the side note why is this hurting me?

-sigh-

Ima break down in the worst way and I know it.

"My thoughts are so loud in private,
But whispers in public.

I trade my limits for a friend so yea your not the only one..

So sickening when they tell your the best one.

But it's funny that we laugh but never talk much, the reasons and excuses your phone mess up..
Yea your phone mess up?

I was therefore you I took care of you when they wasn't there yes

You called me bro you took me home so why are you acting this  way..oh now I soundquite strange so maybe I should back up..

You tell me but I like the way we opened up, and pray about and dance around the secret stuff.

I think to much and I know you hate to be alone.
When you see me you act like I should throw it off.

But I guess I should blow it up, come see me I saved a seat for the only one.

Sincerely your best friend that thinks to much

I thought it was working I thought it was cool to have time with a person and hear the good news all I wanna be is consistent with the things that I do but I'm getting older it's rare for a 21 year old to sit and talk to you. I don't act so "im cooler" and it's hard not to but I got things to do so forgive me if I'm late to the games and the times where u wanted me to go. But I will make them up please don't over look that...I will be doing everything I need to do this year I won't over look you if you knew what I do extra just to chill with you I hope you know this I will always Love you