I wish I could say I had no regrets
But my past is riddled with mistakes
I blame myself
I don't forget

They fade sometimes
The regrets
Only to bleed like an opened wound
On a lonely night

I can't help but open
These scars
They are after all
Some of my fondest memories

Yet I don't feel
The happiness
They should represent
I feel the aftermath

Of my mistakes
Of my failure
To do
Anything

I tell myself I am cold
Unfeeling
I do not feel pain, loss
I am hard

But still ice is brittle
It melts.

Mirror, Mirror on the ground
You broke and shattered
Like my heart
Made no sound

The realization that now
I can no longer
see you
anymore

Why can't I say what I mean
Or what I feel
Why is my conversation always
one-sided, a raw deal

I never know what to say
To keep your attention
I feel unworthy
Is that the intention?

Is it just me
Or is it just what I say
That doesn't amuse
That makes people not look my way.

Maybe if I didn't try
It wouldn't hurt as badly
As it does
To fail so miserably.

Lost in thought
A train of thought derailed
A fantasy shattered
Glass

Reality is cruel
It brings me to my knees
Tears in my eyes
Tears in my heart

I am alone in this world
I don't let anyone in
It's not too hard
When nobody knocks

I curse my creator for making
Me feel sad
And alone
For making me

For showing me
What I could have
Then ripping it away
Cruel

Because I don't think
I feel
My thoughts are emotion
A feeling

I curse intellect
If I were less inclined to thought
Maybe I would overthink less
And do more

Maybe then I would have done
What I was too scared to do

Look through the eyes of a child
see only pure things
See only the innocence
not what evil brings

Wonder as a child
about the future not the past
faded memories do not concern you
they have all passed

Seek those who make you smile
Make others smile too
Seek happiness for others
And they will bring you theirs too

Never lose the sparkle
of childlike innocence
of naivety and wonder
as I have

There's a hole in my heart
where blood comes gushing through
A crack in the wall
A main artery too.

Out leaks parts of me
into the unknown
to be judged and ridiculed
no longer my own

Like blood from my veins
the words from my tongue
flow in one direction
fueled by my lungs

Words bind emotions and feelings
and carry them afar
to recipients who might not want them
leaving only scars

Out from he cracks crawl
my deepest desires
not lust
only envious passionate fire

My heart bleeds
for my foolish thoughts make it so
it bleeds
and the bleeding wont slow.