I search for meaning
In everyday life
I keep coming up empty
Where is the joy of living

Where are the happy memories
Where is the innocence of my childhood
The simplicity
Where is my purpose?

I looked in all the nooks and
crannies
For something worthwhile to do
I found only hobbies

And meaningless conversations
about a god I'd never known
Why is everything so hard
Why do I care?

Why do I seek approval
From everyone around me
Why do I never get it?
Why does it hurt?

Everyday I wake up and search for meaning
And fall asleep still searching.

What fills the void
The empty feeling in me
The hole in my heart
Surrounded by debris

I am empty
I've never felt
Anything remotely real
Only pain I have dealt

I block my feelings
I numb myself from self imposed loss
I saw ghosts
You saw nothing

But why does it hurt
To lose something I never had
Like a toy ripped from the hands
Of a child who never had

Anything to play with
He doesn't know what
He is losing
He knows only the loss