You wouldnt like me when I'm drunk
Or perhaps you'd like me too much

Push pins sting
As they slide into my skin
But after long enough
They go numb
Can hardly notice the blood anymore
Second
Third
Fourth skins are shed
Leaving a raw innocence in it's place
Uninhibited by restraints
Such as logic
Or forethought
Blinders on too tight
Choking out anything that would be
Scandalous in daylight
A deafening scream
That's part siren song
Vice grip fingers
Holding on for too long
The Devil's wife has come to dance
Please walk away
Or I promise we'll both hate me sober

I told you everything I wanted to hear
Forgetting that
You had never loved before
I was your first
First everything
And I crippled both of us
Like a bad car crash
And I stumbled out of the driver's side
And I left you there
I left you bleeding
Clutching your heart to your chest
I told you maybe and meant never
I shouldn't have given you a ride
I meant to crash from the start

I can still feel the wrongness of your fingers caressing me
I can still feel my heart beating so hard it's trying to jump out of my throat
I remember trying to move your hands off of me
I remember your hands kept coming back
It broke me when you held me still
It broke me when you got to decide
I'm still numb from wanting to love a monster

Maybe if I fight he'll go away
Maybe if I fight he'll give up
Maybe he can't see I don't want this
Maybe he can't tell
Maybe I did something wrong
Maybe if I stop moving he'll stop
Hands
There are hands everywhere
My hair my throat my chest my thighs
Maybe he can't tell I'm crying since it's dark
There are hands and they won't let go of me
There are hands that rip out my heart
And they leave it
Right there on the floor
He steps on it before he leaves

Why are you always like a knife to the gut
I still dont know what you wanted from me
Or what you want from me
Was it a game
Was it fate
Was it a dream
For me it's a nightmare I can't wake up from
Don't look at me
Don't talk to me
Don't touch me
Please touch me
I'm addicted to the way you touch me
But you always left too soon for it to be casual
I still don't know who played who
But some days I wonder
When you left me behind
What if I had followed you