WickedHope

WickedHope Aug 2021

I feel like my heart is breaking more than it ever has
And I'm afraid somehow I'll forget you
And I won't be able to fix it
And I don't know how to fix this
I was so foolish
But I don't want a do over
Because then it will really be over
Or it won't have ever started
Is it really better to have loved and lost
How many breaks can a heart take
Shattering shouldn't be a repeatable phenomenon
But with you it is
Everything with you destroys me
I am utterly demolished
And it is so lovely to be wrecked by you
I just hope you never stop bringing me pain
Because the day I stop hurting
Will be the day I know I've died

Idk man. This is just getting more insane and I don't know how to handle it/I'm terrified of mishandling it.

#love #pain #loss

WickedHope Aug 2021

Untitled 10w

I
look
forward
to    holding
hands    on     a
front                porch
.

I love you.

WickedHope Aug 2021

****** drunk disorderly diseased

My chapped lips are chipping apart
From the weight of the insults I hurl
Tossed with sloppy accuracy
Like a pointless drunken game of darts

Soon they're peeled back so far
They reveal my rotting smile
Teeth as black as the words slurred
My tongue heavy, thick like tar

And my loud mocking laugh rings out
Coughing up blood and contagion
Cancer becomes me or I it
From the endless nonsense I spout

#toxic #disease #death

WickedHope Aug 2021

Just Me.

This is the other me
        The fake me
                The real me
                        The screaming
                The crying
        The Chain Smoking Cigarettes so I can Hurry Up Dying

Bitterly Hopeless
Sweetly Toxic
Maybe if I stare enough
You'll finally   u n l o c k   it
The secret I've buried
The one that I wish I had never seen
The secret I've carried
I spill my veins on the floor,   u n c l e a n
Hoping my insides Drown Me
Praying you forgot the key
Because you know what I know
The lie that I told
It's Rotted And Empty
Hollow like my head could be
So hurry, run, go
Before you understand

The Worst Part
           None of it was real
I'm just
           Me  .

Reality is a *****.

God, WickedHope was such a cu nt.

#death #end #lie #me #hope #depression #suicide #reality

WickedHope Jul 2021

Whoever Said...

All is fair in love and war
Was full of it

Because how can something that burns so quickly and leaves charred corpses in it's wake be fair
How can something that uproots the lives of many while leaving the lives of those adjacent fine
It is wholly unfair fall victim merely for being in the wrong place or time

Battlefields consume souls
No matter their varied geography
The path is always the same
Destruction can not be avoided nor cheated
Like Sister Death, both lie in wait
Lurking and prowling to devour the unfortunate ones
Praying for fairness that doesn't exist

#death #love #war #pain #battle #fire #wild

WickedHope Jul 2021

F*cked (TW)

*******
*******
*******
Or **** me

******* **** me like my depression does
I'm already your ***** so what does it matter
Pass me off to your friends
What fun is it anyway unless you can share

Everything feels like a **** ****
You're lines are too rehearsed
My face is painted on so heavily
So heavy
My face literally falls to the floor
Though that's a win isn't it
You only keep me for my assets
Great ***
Bottoms up

**** me

**** my personality, it's ******* up anyway
**** with my head
Hands in my hair
Rip out fistfuls
Gag me
That way I can't ruin it with words
Or whatever

*******
*******
*******
**** me

I can't see straight
I can't think straight
I can't breathe
I'm so far into the mattress
I wonder if it's kink is choking
I can't breathe
I think I'm crying
I don't how long we've been here
I can't breathe
I- everything is numb
I stopped noticing my pulse
I can't breathe
I could be dying
I'm probably dying
I can't breathe

At least one of us had a good time

******* for ******* me

This is a metaphor.