Why are all the good things scary
You'd think that flying would be breathtaking and exhilarating
But
All I can think about
Is how close I am to falling
It's suffocating

When I close my eyes...

I see sunrise on the water
Or a hazy morning on 495 driving blind
I see a gun aimed but not fired
Or waves lapping over head with lungs screaming
I see a fractured reflection staring back of a girl who threw herself at walls, out windows, at people as lonely as she was
Or a toilet with a silhouette draped over it hiding the evidence inside
I see the worms in my mind
Or what it felt like to die

I see a writhing den of snakes cocooning a half buried body
Or a heart once stepped on and shattered, by the shoes you hide in your closet, stained in blood

Where you should be
I no longer see
If I blink you are there not here
Make it stop
Make it start over
I don't want to be missing
The life I had with you
You told me it wouldn't last
And I ignored it
I ignored your warnings
I lit the match because I wanted to see
And how bright we were you and me
But the light went out
And it reeks of sulfur
And you're all gone
Without so much as a smoulder
Stranded in the dark
I feel out my way to where you were
But my fingers only graze
The damp cool air
That has taken your place
I'm suffocating in this frozen hell
You told me it was coming
But I didn't listen
I didn't want to believe our days were numbered
Not when the moments were so sweet
We drank them like honey
But I can't hit repeat
Instead I am here alone
Waiting for a match to re-light
But all that remains is dead nights

Whisper to me without words
Give me an eternity in an instant
Show me a new galaxy in a glance
Dazzling constellations contained in your eyes
Like a nebula, exploding, expanding with each moment we share
Kaleidoscope colors
Glistening and changing at a pace that feels like fireworks
But looks like stars
Stare into my soul with those hazel-green eyes

I often find myself thinking
If you’re happier with him
And how’s it gonna be
When time passes by.
I find myself
In only a struggle
But I know I’ll be fine.
Only with what happened
But not with what could’ve been...