i dont want to write another poem about you
i dont want to be thinking about you
i dont want you inside my head
but how could the best thing that's ever happened to me
hurt so bad?

Forgive me
Then forget me
I wanted be your idol
Your muse
Your anything
But I am cardinal sin
I choke out anything that once was pure
Corrupting those who are left in my wake
I thought you could be different
Your heavenly ecstasy infiltrated my senses
Oh, how I worship you
But oh, how you leave me
You would think by now I would have learned
My prayers will never be answered
For sinners like me do not deserve a heaven on earth

"don't you feel it?" i ask
doe eyed
young and lost
"don't you feel the world closing in on you?"
you smiled at me
your hand brushed my face
"so let it close in," you say
"just don't let it close you out"

you love it, don’t you?
to be powerful and adored
to have people fighting for even a sliver of your attention
oh how i long to be free from your orbit
but being around you feels less like love
and more like a relapse

i forgot what happy felt like
until you came and reminded me

why do i have to fall for you
when you decide to leave me
i know that im a lot to handle
but all i wanted was a chance
you captured my heart
please just stay

stop lights change color
no matter who is watching
or if nobody is watching
so don’t you think for a second
that i need you
to tell me when to i’ve changed