Sarah

Sarah May 2017

Authors

Everyone has secrets
Nobody can truly be an open book
But you turned through my pages
And started to read
Then handed me your story
Unfinished like mine
So let’s write them together
I trust you to be there till the ending
Promise we’ll make it there

#write #me #like #one #of #your #french #girls #lol

Sarah May 2017

Fighting

The first time I wanted to **** myself was 6th grade
Wandering the school corridors
I thought to myself
“What’s even the point?”
I was scared of my mind ever since
Thoughts of suicide consume me now
Like vultures
I am their prey
But though I am meek
I am not helpless
I am fighting a battle
A war I am ready to die for
Even though I don’t know what I’m dying for
Except
Despite the fact that I do not know what lies ahead
I know it must be something
So I must keep fighting
Until I find my future

#my #mind #is #dark #so #light #me #up

Sarah May 2017

Hidden

Don’t take up space
Don’t be too loud
Don’t let them know how scared you are
Don’t let them know how fake you are
You didn’t earn this
You don’t deserve this
Keep yourself away from them
Like the monster you are
You’re getting the hang of this
Staying hidden
Keeping your emotions hidden
You’ve learnt how to numb everything
So they don’t get a glimpse of the real you
The you that you keep locked away
Until you are finally alone
The you that claws at you like a beast
Because you are a beast
Why else would you live in this prison?

#how #can #i #fall #apart #if #was #already #broken

Sarah May 2017

Stars

The stars are out tonight
I gaze at them from my yard
My hair spread out on the grass
My mind races
Focused on how far away these glittering lights are
An entire universe is out there
But it was not made for me
I am small
But can a light still burn inside me?
Especially if I feel so dark?
I like to think we are all stars
And astronomers at the same time
Searching for our place in the galaxy
Will you be a star with me?
With you I no longer feel dimmed
Can you let me illuminate your world?
I’ve been pulled in by your gravity
There’s no way to leave your orbit now
Even if I wanted to

#this #might #be #love #but #i #dont #know

Sarah May 2017

A Scene of Summer

My brother plays with a girl across the street
My dad and sister mow the lawn
The sweet scent of grass fills my nose
Birds chirp from afar
This is what I live for
Summer means swimming in the pool
Laughing until my belly aches
Walking to the ice cream shop
Eating myself into a sugar high
The sun’s out more often than not
And it gently warms my skin
Games of spin the bottle on camping trips
Stealing kisses and running outside till the stars are out
I’m still young and the days are still long
Summer is the time when nothing seems wrong

#summer #fun #freedom

Sarah May 2017

Habits

I used to have a nervous habit
Biting my nails
I tried everything to stop
I was embarrassed about it
The other girls had beautiful nails
Always colorful
Always long
Mine looked like stubs
Shame kept me from biting them again
But then I started biting my lips
I replaced one bad habit with another
This time it was worse
My lips wore anxiety like a neon hat
Telling everyone
“Hey look here! She’s weird!”
Shame- and a lot of chapstick- kept that from happening again
But one habit ends and another begins
My body is still a victim of my emotions
Now I reach for a blade
But only in places where people won’t see
Except I’m trying to stop
It’s just who knows what I’ll pick up if I do?

#habits #bad #depression #anxiety #shame

Sarah May 2017

A Poem for my Bathroom Mirror

Reflective glass can torment souls
Deception is a lonely road
I walk this path without free will
And watch my face as tears spill
3 am, the house is sleeping
Yet here I am; awake and weeping
I count the hours till I’m not alone
But my future is still unknown
I no longer want to be trapped
But an escape is unmapped

#awake #trapped #alone #depression #escape