Caleb John

Caleb John Aug 2018

Burn

I'm so sick of a past I can't erase

I know I'm not alone in this feeling

I'm sick of hurting people even when I didn't mean too

I wish I could just burn it down and rebuild a new

But there will always be a part of me that remembers

These demons in my head whispering lies into my ear

SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO BURN IT ALL!!!

Everything I built

Everything I broke

Every friendship I smashed

Every friendship I fixed

I remember the days when I was a hypocrite

I could spew hell fire from my lips but at the same time I was doing everything I condemned.

For those I hurt I'm sorry

I wish God would revive that warrior spirit in me I had all those years ago

I'm done with these demons and I'm done with my past

I'm done with that hypocrisy

I'm new in Christ

This is a new declaration of war on the evil part of my heart I try so desperately to rip out.

This is a declaration of war on the demons whispering in my ear.

By the grace and help from God

You will burn

Caleb John Aug 2018

SCREAM!!

I'm sick of the late nights full of conflict in my soul

I'm sick of who I was

Satan used to tempt me with thoughts of suicide

The only way I thought the struggle could end

But I won't let Satan have me

Some nights I just want to scream!!

Jesus stormed the gates of hell and broke the rules of death

So why must I feel this conflict?

Because Satan knows what I was called to do

All I see are the mountains God allows him to put in my way

Sometimes those mountains look so big and I feel so small

Why does the darkness often seem more visible then the light?

I'm sick of darkness

I wish I could rip my chest open tear the sin from my soul

But that's not the way it works the only one who can cleanse me daily is Christ

Caleb John Aug 2018

Without a Word

Living

Going day to day

The same old same old

Living like a paper airplane that was never folded

When I don't talk

I lose track

I fall out of tune

It's hard to talk sometimes

When I don't know what I'm feeling

I do know

It's hard to live

Without a word

Caleb John Aug 2018

Heaven

It's sought out for in the strangest places

Pleasures

Greed

Pride

The strangest places that aren't heaven

They are a mirage in a desert

I found my heaven

God gave it to me

When Christ died on the tree

I've heard people say heaven is a place on earth

But how could this rotten broken world be heaven?

In know I will see it one day

The crystal sea

Colors more beautiful then I could imagine

Colors I've never seen

Angels singing songs of praise more beautiful then birds in the trees

No more sickness

No more pain

Just joy

No tears

Happiness

No depression

Only joy

Jesus made it open to all who call upon His name

So why doesn't anyone call upon His name?

Heaven can be yours for eternity

Why chase this life full of terror and pain and sadness that will never satisfy

Heaven can be yours I beg you

Call upon the name of Christ!

You will have satisfaction you never knew

Caleb John Aug 2018

Walking By Faith

It's so easy for me

To sit down at this screen and talk about faith

To talk about doing great things

Believing that God can do anything

But sometimes it's not easy for me to believe

When I don't hear the voice of God I can get sad

I might feel like I've done something wrong

Or when I lose a loved one

I may not feel joy

But it's at these times I have to cling to faith

In the hard times I have to still believe

I know God will remain faithful even when it's hard

But I can't give up on the God who won me

And neither can anyone

We have to remain faithful to him because he is always faithful

Caleb John Aug 2018

Out of the Dark

When all I see is black

It's so dark I can't see my hand in front my face

It's so dark it makes me sick

There's no light in here

It makes me depressed

It makes me hopeless

The darkness is endless

The dark is so loud

All I hear is dread

Terror

Death

Brokenness

I hear that I'm unworthy

Worthless

Stupid

Unloved

Pain

The only way to come out of this darkness was to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.....

Or so I thought.....

Or so many think

They see no hope

And all they feel is pain

We think we live in Hell

But what no one seems to get

Is that when you pull that trigger

There's no turning back

If you pull that trigger

You will be in Hell

You will experience loneliness

Darkness

Burning

Pain

Hurt

Brokenness

Sadness

All you will hear

Are screams

There you will spend eternity

Burning in the lake of fire

I'm just waiting for the day when all humanity cries out for the light

When will we cry to Jesus

When will we let the light shine

I don't ever want to walk in darkness

I will let the light of love shine

There's no one else who can pull us out of this darkness

Jesus is the light

The light always beats the dark

Let him shine on you

Let his love overwhelm you

Put down your guns and let him in

Caleb John Jul 2018

Beauty

Where is it found?

What defines it?

What is beauty?

Some say it's found in the outside

In appearances

Some say beauty is what is pleasing to the eye

But I say to you

Beauty isn't found in looks

In what's pleasing or pleasurable

Beauty is found on the inside

Beautiful people may have the looks

But not all people who have the looks are beautiful

Beauty is found in the inside

Beauty is found in love

Not conditional love but unconditional

Beauty is found in the heart