I wanted it to end , not for a new year  but for all  those years I wanted back.
( Hoping some miracle to happen)

(again, if this gets taken down it's fine)

So.. Idk if this can be called a rant, im kinda just explaining some stuff. School is really too much rn, im failing literally everything. Then there's some personal stuff, but that's not important cuz that's just mental health stuff. I tried to stay for longer, but i genuinely can't anymore. Because of this, i will be taking a break for a while. I'm fine, really, i just need some time to think about stuff. I know no one cares, but idk it just felt rude to leave without an explanation. Anyway, I'll come back as soon as i can, I'm sorry.

people have their god
               and
people have their no god
               but
neither has solid proof
                nor
the definitive answer
               only
what they truly believe in
                and
they’re so sure of themselves
               that
they’ll defend and protect their beliefs
                  if
any differences are shouted at them
                 and
they’ll hold and cradle their beliefs
               tightly
like a security blanket
                 and
they’ll preach their beliefs
                  to
any pair of ears they come across
                  it’s
the never-ending game
           straddling
the on-going centuries
                  if
you have god, go with god
                and
                  if
you have nothing, go with nothing
                 just
leave me the hell out of it:
your beliefs
      my beliefs
          his beliefs
             her beliefs
               their beliefs
                 were never a certainty.

I grab your fingers
Dig them into my scab
Covered in blood
Make them stab stab stab
Because then it is you
And not me who is liable
Your fingers are stained
My healing now viable

Do me a favor,
And pick up the gun,
Killing what used to be your son,
That's now a memory instead.

Do me a favor,
And pick up the knife,
Killing what used to be a life,
(be happy, he could take it on his own)

Do me a favor,
And give me the pills,
Every single one that kills
The mistake you made
When you were 21,
The 14 years old accident,
You wanted gone.

why do i always have to fall in love with the people who will never love me

You really wanna be me?
That's the first mistake you'll ever make,
on this long horrid road.
But, don't let me scare you,
at least not yet,
fore this path has only just begun.

Step 1:
You've gotta learn that you hate yourself,
you might seem beautiful to others,
but, your not.
If you wanna be me,
you need to open your inner negativity,
and see the disgust,
within what you once found pure.

Step 2:
Disappoint your family.
Yes,
truly shocking isn't it?
Breaking the hearts,
of the same very people,
who will be the only ones,
standing at your grave.
But, you started this path,
knowing it wasn't going to end well.

Step 3:
Ruin everything that's going well for you.
You have friends?
Well not anymore.
You are happy?
Here's some depression,
and let me add some social anxiety in the mix,
let see if you can get there,
to the end of this step.

Almost there,
Step 4:
Constantly lie to everyone,
tell them your fine,
even though looking at this,
you can't be.
Even i'm not,
so how could you be?
Show them a smile,
when you have tears in your eyes.

If you have made it to this final step,
I am proud,
yet worried for you,
and your mental trauma your going through.

Step 5: The Final Step
Now,
you need to survive this,
for the rest of your life.
You might think this is the easiest step.
Trust me it's not.
And if you do,
I am not just proud of you,
I am applauding you,
for doing something i'm barely able to do.

If you have made it here,
to the very end,
I say good luck,
giving you all my wishing,
that at least one of us,
will last forever.

She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.