Climb this mountain,
Don't tell her what her voice is

Climbing, I don't say,
When she calls out, she's joking,
She's not talking to me,
But if I imagine she is,
Watch me sprint up.

This euphoria,
I've only felt it once before,
When I was called little brother,
And these two words embraced me
So small, yet holding so much,
She might have been joking,
But what I heard was
I hear you,
And I almost cried

Now, climbing,
I don't say
I don't tell her what her voice means
I doubt she remembers
What I whispered in urgent tones that day
Because I know she isn't talking to me,
When she calls to the boy,
I know she's talking to
the real boy,
But when I heard her,
I soared up the cliff,
Exhaustion from the hours before
Suddenly gone
And I could run, like
Any boy could have,
Now I find myself dreaming
That she might mean it one day,
I find myself dreaming
That the boy she was talking to,
Really talking to,
Might mean it one day...

I told her that I was tired of faking it
Faking a smile and a laugh
Tired of trying to be 'Okay'
when i'm not

She told me "Then stop pretending"
It took me awhile before I did that

Now I don't pretend as much
At times I fake a smile and a laugh
Just so they won't feel awkward

People are asking me if i'm
okay
..
Even her

Why tell me to do something
if you're going to
Question it?

Here I am,
lying to her constantly

Remember walking through an unfamiliar town,
Knowing there is something on the other side,
But finding it harder to care...
Do you remember
Walking through that street,
With dry throat and fast breath,
With shivering hands,
And eyes that betray,
The past 2 hours are still fresh in the mind,
Cracked voices,
Lying to ourselves when we say
”it’s all going to be okay”
How strange, on a day so cloudy,
In the sky of this world,
And in the ocean of our minds,
Fog rising over the water and we can’t see beauty anymore...

How strange, to walk by a park and see
Children,
Playing their games without a care in the world.
How strange, to see
Passers-by look at the ambulance,
And laugh, probably wondering
What’s happened, will it be on the news?
Red hair and red face,
When we take seats on the empty train,
We sit in silence,
And I can’t help but wonder,
How could anyone find happiness here?

We live in our own world,
How strange,
Being in such a dark place,
Watching others dancing in the light,
They don’t even know your struggles
And how could they?
It seems so impossible to think
That no-one else knows
This is not a happy day.