Give me something from your nothing
It's worth more to me than gold

I breath in your scent every morning when I wake
So I'll isolate myself in this room so what I have left of you doesn't escape
Like the clothing you carried out in bags
Til death do us part
The words your once muttered in a dream I once had
I'll put a picture of you on the roof of my bunk
Mimick you with a pillow
Cove it in love
I'd video tape killing myself for a moment for your time
Or maybe even three
Because I'll only give up when my lungs give out
And my heart gives in
Because you don't leave as easy as you walked out.

I'm finding hope
In the weirdest of places
Check the cracks in the foundation's
Before you cover them up
Because I'm sure there's something you can take away from every storm
Every fall gives you the chance to stand up tall
Regroup your thoughts
And keep a positive mind set in that head of yours
I've had the strive to survive
In a toxic environment for far too long
Now the saplings have grown
Mighty and strong
Cleansing the air inherited by my lungs

She says he's Siamese
I swear to god I've seen him read
The newspaper that layers his floor
It tells him the enemy and let's him know the saviour
He's learning humanities faults and failures
I can hear the cats talking loudly late at night in there native tongue
Debating if this is the place to be
There only evidence is the propaganda forced into where they sleep

I've called myself young and stupid
But that excuse is kinda ageing

I used to take baths every few hours
Just so time would pass through my fingers like water
Uncontainable like the power my brain held over what remained of me
Fragile has my back hit the bottom
A thin layer of flesh couldn't protect
All I could fathom was metal against bone
Not the comfort I'd once know
But still the warmest I'd been since I'd taken off my clothes
The slightest cold found easy passage to my bones
Wasting time waiting for my body clock to run down
So I could taste the sweet taste of what my body needed
what I forcefully took away from myself
Punishment was all i gifted
Has it hit twelve
For some reason I believed it was fine to eat again
But I could never compete with the two thousand needed to maintain or a score greater to gain.

It's hard to sell myself
When I can't even sell myself to me
Made in god's image
Bet he didn't get very far in art
I'm a mirror but frankly I can't stand the sight
Not broken by bad luck
Just bent by knuckles coated in glass
Guess I need to practice what I preach
I'll wait at the steeple
Till I find a justifiable reason for this internal beating
I can't smell the roses anymore
My thorns are deep under my skin
And the tainted glassers only focus on negatives
Can I ever win?
Imagine a movie where the good  and bad guy are one and the same
Going round and round forever in vain
Self harm doesn't always reach the surface
I wish hope was as easy as some songs make out
Stop wishing, waiting
On a shooting star
Stop wishing, waiting
On a man in the stars
Did those birthday candles get you far?

You've got the weight of the world on your shoulders
So half it on my back
We'll take the world together

Marching in rhythm to corporate rhyme
Waiting in lines
While the fire inside is dowsed
Burning holes in your pockets right in front of your eyes
Brainwashed by punk
That's got the wrong name on the packet
Companies making money off rage they've tamed
Worshiping a group who haven't been the same since they tasted fame  
I hope it's as sweet as being spoon fed
Scared to take a risk
Because that doesn't sell

I live for a summers dream
As I fall like leaf's in winter
Dancing to the ground ashamed
Of the days I wasted and the warmth I failed to cease

The only clear reward for the starvation I had gifted
Was a body I'd grow to hate
Somehow more than I did before
There's more obstacles returning to your former self
Than there ever was leaving

Love once sacred
Taken from my heart
And betrayed
Stabed several times in the back
And left to bleed

You're the summers heat
Beaming down on me
The sound of autumn's leafs
Crunching under feet
you're spring the death of winters cold touch
You're the harvest coming in to add nutrition to my growth
You're as sharp as the winter breeze
And I'll do what I can to be in season
If it doesn't go to plan
And the weather changes
We'll be hand in hand
Because is it love
If it's not unpredictable like the English weather

I'm not a master
I'm a slave to the words I've wrote
Because these words haunt
And have never been spoke
Travel down the ear canal
To be met with a abrupt end
They become a language you bearly understand

A line of emotion
Ended with a full stop
Ready for a picturesque funurel
Upon these pages

I've been writing up verses
And trying to converse with the devil in my head
Because even the simplest words don't look right when you're around

What if I can't look again?
Without disliking the words I say
I'm a manic
And the words in my head never truely translate
I wanna be a artist and create
Banish all forms of hate
That self deprecate
I wanna be happy and smile
But I can wait for a while
I'm impatient
But not like before
6am to see if Santa's called
Is this even good I question it all
But I've realised to move forward I have to scale every wall with due course.

Anchored down by feelings
I just can't let out
Always making wrong decisions
Decisive at the worst times
I've been pulled so ******* deep now
I can't even see the light
Stuck in some kind of limbo
Because I refuse to die

I woke early today
I finally opened my window
Pulled apart the curtains that hung so perfectly
Better than I ever could
Take a deep breath
And let some air in
I saw the light I've been craving
Since summer left
Me suffocating
By default
You became my stepping stone
To get me closer to the sun
Just sit back and watch me grow
No longer will I wilt under your overbearing knock off glow

I've been chasing summer
Ever since you came into my life
Because something bloomed in those record breaking hot nights
All those lollies consumed in a  
Sweltering room
But you could never cool down  
Because I'd never let go of your hand
You'll miss it soon
When the winter comes

I hate writing
I confess
I detest words on paper
They never convey what I'm truly trying to say
So I've decided to keep on writing
Because I love the feelings my mind brings
It sometimes hits home and stings
But I guess my love and hate have to collaborate
I confess this doesn't make much sense
But make a story in your head
Take what you want from this

Your mourning was so loud
It woke death himself
Bargaining yourself ten minutes of life to say your final goodbyes
With tears in your eyes
You said I loved you so much
Crossing out the fights from the nights you wasted time
I wish I'd have told you when you was alive
It's sad I only got to tell you from the other side.

My redemption started
as I opened my eyes to the new morning sun shine
My eye lashes looked like forrest fires
If I squinted hard enough
As orbs of light danced from the corner of my eyes
Deep breaths and morning sigh's
Captured far too overwhelming familiar smells of home
I realised the days where getting brighter
And I no longer needed the light I hung onto so tightly
The weather was so often used as an excuse to not get out of bed
But then again I'm still sat at my window trying to find the motivation to do it all again

I play the drums when the neighbours are gone
Because my bedroom walls are paper thin
We live arm to arm
But not hand in hand
And I don't want them drumming back
When my note pads full and my wallets empty
And I've used all the plain sides of all my mother's letters
If I draw on the walls
Do you think she'll mind?
Do you reckon it'll add value?
If she literally takes my life
Call me Vincent
Van Gogh for short
Notorious after I'm gone
Art's a risk I'll after take

I'll plant a seed
This is the turning of new leaf's
I won't sink into the ground again
Drowning in wet soil
I'll remain
Following the vine deep down to the roots
Cast aside
The earth
That covered these open wounds
Burried so long
In far too familiar
Unmarked tombs
Plant a new seed as soon as you need
It's never too later to start again

I've met the demon that's lurking behind your smile
With his mighty straw as long as the length of time
Ready to **** your emotions right back from the corner of your eyes
He'll Keep it bottled up so he can drink til he's drunk
And fill that hole that's been so long vacant of love
I always got told two negatives don't make a right
But If a positive collides
Is it possible to negotiate with both sides
And shine some light
On the darkness the negative feels inside
I've had practice controlling mine
Now the angel on my shoulder is the keeper of peace of mind
Maybe our horns and wings can make a right

Death is just eternal darkness, so I guess I'll stick around finding the light in the darkness however unoften it may come around

They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone
And I hate when you say I didn't care
Because it cuts like a knife
Knowing in life
The right words where never there

I worry when I'm drowning
In sentences
Trying to force them into lines
Where they don't fit
Always kicking in panic
Casting them aside  
But always Hoping for a safe return  
So I can throw them together
And create something

Waiting patiently
For things to get better
Waiting implies standing still but you've got to keep moving to get what you need
Leaving dream catchers out
Falsely believing they'll answer your prayers
But all my believes are solely in myself
Don't wait around for a stroke of luck
Or maybe two magpies to grace your eye line
Stay up late one night
Watch the sunset die
capture those dreams with your own two hands

Host a party for my words
As they gain age they never change
They grow old with grace
No matter my mental state
I'll give you some words that matter
That don't shatter
when they leave my tongue
I hope they hurt as they stick into your feet
Like a stake through the seems
So I can rebuild you from the ashes and start a new
Let you see you
Through my eyes like I do
Least you'll understand my  master plan
To make people believe and perceive
They can relieve there demons

If there's no love left in this world
I'll give my life giving it Away

I don't have the guts to make cuts
So I bleed on paper
But these days it never seems enough
Because a plea for help
Never gets a second look laying in these old dusty books

I keep falling through the cracks in the pavement
I broke my back laying for you
I know the toxicity of this relationship corroded the foundations
Confined to a room of emotions
We only wanted to escape
I'll take my portion of the blame
But the other half never gets claimed
If anyone asks I'll tell them we're friends
I've got no blood on my hands
Because I've got no hate in my heart
But I caught you red handed cursing my name

Looking through my window
Waiting for a change in weather
The chipped paint reminds me of worse days
And a disconnection from the things I used to know
Like a fly on the window
Curious
With freedom in plain sight
Shorts and long Sock season
The sun's rays beaming
Blasting Skrwd as our mutual summer time theme tune
Such irony
Because now the weather's changed I won't settle for room temperature again
I feel a growth in my bones
I'm not waiting
I'm not waiting anymore
I'm just taking
Taking whatevers thrown
The cold doesn't effect me like it used too
My teeth don't chatter from fear of being alone
If summers the place to be
Let's make it a permanent state of mind I'll try find warmth in the greyest of skies.

I haven't lived since you've been gone
I've been living like a ghost for far too long
This haunting is all wrong
When it's happening in reverse
My head's cursed
I've been loosing sleep from the sound of creaking floors
Right outside my bedroom door
And photos falling once hung from walls
Now I spend my days staring up at empty ceilings
Where My only friend is the streak of paint where the lights used be
Before we revamped the place we believed we'd never leave
I'm used to loosing light and the sight needed to grow
But what I know
I've never been scared of the dark

Play victim
Make me lose my head
And say something I'll regret
You know you're in the wrong
So focus on the former
And don't let the latter kick in
Anything but the matter
Ignoring all the questions
So you can play blind to the facts
Hide behind your mask
Created from turning your back
I'll hide behind mine
Created by doubt and always bringing up the past
I wish I could scream and shout like you

I'm tall enough now for my head to meet head to head with the shower
I'm only hundred and ten pounds and the tale of the tapes against me
I know you haven't noticed
But my feet hang out the bunk beds at your house
Seasons have come and gone since I stayed the weekend
but I've pushed through the weeks learned to use this swing without you
I believe in photosynthesis, self growth and the strength to overcome myself
I'm not rooted down
The ground around me is mine to take
I know it's hard from a neutral point of view
But I don't struggle
To see the ground  I've made up
Small steps mean everything
When the stickers behind your door are stuck with blu-tac in fear you'll fail to stick
It's good to know the only thing that haunts me in the night is a poster falling.

Everytime I spoke I tried not to choke
Because I dug deep
Opening up old wounds
Using jokes as comfort to soften the blow
But nothing hit harder
Than when your lip trembled
Because I have  thoughts of ending my life sometimes

I woke from a nightmare
To the sun laying next to me in the middle of the night
And your warmth gentaly rocked me back to sleep
You became a new sun when my head convinced me my world had ended

The distance from my side of the bed used to be too far
But now we're sleeping separately miles apart
Fall to sleep to the smell of detergent
Rather than my scent upon your sheets
I know we both did wrong
But I wish the best for you now.

Trying to find peace living in the present
Rather than living in my mind
Because in reality I can defeat a old demon bearing a new disguise

You cried as the sunset died over sandle castle
As silhouettes glowed red in the distance
You kissed me, told me you loved me
Then we said our goodbyes
The moon was so big that night
I remember inside jokes of me saying the world is ending and if it was that big we'd be dead
If it was destined our last, I guess that would have been a perfect way to die
Caught up in fractured moon light
And ******'s of affection fleeting by
Such a picturesque setting
But now I cry every night
Knowing that it wasn't our final goodbye
Just the beginning of relationship that was fraying from distance
It took a year and half down the line for my heart to be broken
I just hope it doesn't take that long to fix.

Making Smiley faces with tattoo ink and safety pins
Putting childhood fridge drawn art on wasted skin
Finger paints and pasta shells were not artists but I'm sure we can't mess this one up, lines and dots wonky smiles and tired eyes
The face your parents make don't look so bad compared to there youthful mistakes
Sentenced to hard time
Full sleeves before nap time
Tattooed tears down your face cursing the ones who left you in this place

I know they say it takes a while to grow
Like the shoes they say will one day meet your toes
But whys the rest of the garden blooming
Climbing towards the sun
Smothered in its gaze
While I'm laying low in the shade living off droplets that fell from your leaf's
I'm left tracing roots back to the dirt
Like I'm defined by my past
I know you'll never left me forget the choices I made

I Keep being weak and checking your socials onece or twice a week
Just to watch my moods drop from highs to lows
I don't know what makes me look back
I guess it's the memory of being loved to blame for that

Passing time with talks of red wine
But I don't even drink!
You won't even take this as a metaphor
Guess that's just another reason why
Your words find a home in my mind
Labels, types, grapes and vines
Time fly's in your presence like a child in awe of a war time story
It's not like I care about a single word but I'm a connoisseur I hang on every verse you've ever spoken
I love the gestures you make
Your hands dance you stumble your words you go red faced
I'm sick of writing songs about the downsides
Writing songs about sad boys with broken hearts
Red wines good for that it can ease the pain, cover all the *** holes in your vains
But I don't even drink
I don't think the wines to blame
One day you'll catch me smiling and you'll wonder why I'll have the littlest details on my mind of time forgotten but I won't mind and the talks of labels, types, Grape's and vines

I wish I could meet him
Have a heart to heart
Ask a few questions and talk it out
I'll be the interviewer
You be Theresa May lie about strong and stable til you're blue in the face
"Why me?" I ask
You slip on your words and I swear I hear you say
"You've got to understand i only plague the mind of the strong and we need to learn to get along"
I sit up at the edge of my bed questioning why I'm talking to myself  
I'm not that gone yet.
I'll find the common strength to overcome myself .

To love is to abandon fear
But I'm so scared to let my only consistence go

My cupboards full of treats
I wish I could just eat
Instead of planing my life around
Stock piled up like the world is ending
But I'm scared of venturing out of my comfort zone
Leaving the bunker my mind's created
Incase I gain too much weight or loose my ****** shape
Ruled by a number on a packet
Pushed down my a disorder in my head.