Sadness erupts from
Thoughts &
Daydreams.

Wishful thinking &
Nightmares.

Loneliness &
Reality.

The list can go on
And on…

Must I feel this way
When I have nothing to gain?

Must I torture myself
When I feel so empty?

The bane of my existence
Is to feel this pain.

I can’t embrace happiness
The way most folks do.

If I ever were to feel
Joy…

Then that would be only
In paradise.

Feelings of warmth
Fade away

As I start descending back
Into reality.

The past few days were pure bliss
Love and happiness all bundled
In one huge wrapped gift.

The feelings are mutual
With everyone invited.

Festivities of light
End abruptly

With darkness
Looming behind us.

Waiting to strike at any moment.

Glowing sunlight
under the heavy clouds
mountainside
what's on the other side

Let's catch the sun
buy me a star

I want to keep them in my room

I don't know

I don't want to be alone

I'm afraid of giving up

I'm so scared of being alone

In this grey world

Where no one knows

Who am I?
I think to myself all the time.

I want to be someone.
But how do I figure that out?

I have this dream.
But is that who I really am?

How do I know?
I feel lonely and
Scared.

Life is a clock.
Keeps moving
Never stopping.

One day.
I will be left behind.

While the world moves on.
Slowly, but
Surely.

Steady.
But I am not ready
For the universe

To see me
For who I am.
Who I want to be.

I am frightented
To challenge myself.

Monotonic movements.
Day by day.

Feeling low.
Drunk on daydreams.

When will I feel whole?
When will I be...

ME?

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.