at the bottom of brandy bottle
my inkwell dry
quill worn
parchment filled
i’ve run out of words
thought
ideas
there’s nothing left to say
i have to go deeper
darker
afraid of what i’ll see
frighten of the communion
weary of the price
i’ll have to pay

you see it coming
but can do nothing
but rage and cry
get on your knees
praying to Him
as He slowly
lets you die

the best has past
your youth long gone
you savor, remember
your first communion
a touch, a kiss
so innocent, exhilarating
never to be forgotten

You know, every time they ask me
What are your life goals?
What are your ambitions?

I answer;

I'm not sure yet.

They ask me if I'm happy
If I know what I'm doing with my life

I answer;

I'm not sure yet.

They ask me if I've made up my mind
If I decided what shirt I'm going to wear
If I know what my lunch will be tomorrow

I answer;

I'm not sure yet.

See, I'm not sure of much right now.
And I don't want to be.

But I do know that I want to spend my time with you.

I want to see you achieve your goals
I want to cheer on your ambitions

I want to make you laugh and smile
With the cheesiest of jokes and impressions

I want to see you on a Sunday morning
Sitting silently on a sunlit seat
Singing to yourself in my oversized purple jumper

I want to dance with you in the kitchen
While the moonlight dances along with us
Spinning to our own tune

When it comes to life, I'm not sure yet.

But one thing I am sure of... is you.

It’s a vital red
A scorpion’s sting
A piercing and
Unending scream
It ripped apart the
Heart of me
And still it
Goes on running