Oh the omnipresent soul
like a terracotta sponge
absorbing our resolve
now and forever after.

the fire
for me
in your heart
died quietly

tell me,
love

where did it go?
and
why
don’t you know?

I feel lonesome hands approaching mine
to walk me through the desert.
I tense my arms against the open night sky
which cannot be pushed away.

I want you to love my grey skies,
my pensivity that rolls across mountain ranges -
the same to me as sunshine igniting streams.
Just a different lens
through which my creature plays with light.
She is elemental
and sloughs skin off the earth like lava flowing
into the ocean to close its eyes.
I'll eat my own tail
to discover what I already know.

There are different reasons why you write.
You write because...
...you're happy?
you're sad?
you're delighted?
you're mourning?
keeping a secret?
But whichever reason you have,
you still write what's inside.
What other people can't see,
can't decipher beneath the words you speak,
can't understand the emotions flowing
through the sentences you can't speak out loud.
You write, pouring the feelings you can't let out,
you write. using the words you once thought can't explain what you feel.
You write, thinking that someone out there can finally discern what you're hiding inside.

We're afraid to live.
We're afraid to die.
We're afraid to try.
We're afraid of what happens if we don't try.
We're afraid to love.
We're afraid to commit.
We're afraid people think we're full of ****.
We're afraid of the truth.
We're afraid to lie.
We're afraid people will think we're weak if they see us cry.
We're afraid to feel.
We're afraid of fear.
But knowledge is power.
So now that you know what you fear,
what are you going to do about it right now? Right here?

You said you were ugly, you are not.
You said you were worthless, you are not.
You said you were sad and broken, let me help you out.
You said you were feeling down and depress, I'll fix you up.

You make my emotions function continuously, you still do.
You make me loyal with no feeling of remorse, you still do.
You made me feel that there's no one else, you still do.
You left me there standing all alone, you still do.

You are the one that I will keep fighting for, that is my oath.
You are the one that I'm willing to fix, forever and ever.
You are the one that I still wish for, my only dream.
You are the one that can make me fall, my one weakness.

You keep diminishing your self worth, I still believe in you.
You keep saying you are not worth it, I'll make you think otherwise.
You finally recovered from you broken state, I'm very proud of you.
You denied me access to be part of your world, you still do....

Dad, I am going to try and write this
It may be a poem
It may not
But from my heart
I miss you
I remember the last time I kissed you
Your eyes were closed
They opened wide
As I kissed your forehead
In that terrible place
So white and clean
Where people die
But you will never die
Dad
I love you so much
And you will always live on
In my heart
Forever
God, I miss you so much
It's so hard to write through the tears