Before you breathe I'm your heartbreaker,
I deserve to meet my own maker,
I deserve the rage for I'm your joy taker,
Before you breathe I'm your heartbreaker.

I can't handle it anymore,
You're travelling too far,
Into my walled up heart,
Well it's par for the course.

Before you ever get to know me,
I'll misdirect you into your own mind,
I want to know you inside out,
Don't bother asking about mine.

Before you breathe I'm your heartbreaker,
I deserve to meet my own maker,
I deserve the rage for I'm your joy taker,
Before you breathe I'm your heartbreaker.

I wish I knew what it would be like,
To find it safe and sound to speak aloud,
All the pain and discomfort, I am heaving,
Onto the concrete floor at the thought.

Drug me until I'm spun out,
****** up and unintelligible,
Maybe then I'll finally let you in,
All I need is to know that I'm not me.

Before you breathe I'm your heartbreaker,
I deserve to meet my own maker,
I deserve the rage for Im your joy taker,
Before you breathe I'm your heartbreaker.

Joy taker.

Heartbreaker.

Joy taker.

The question I have for tonight,
Is a simple one at that,
It's aimed for my head,
And the thoughts locked inside,
I picked the words carefully,
Like threading through a needle,
They are quiet,
Barely heard,
"Will I be alive tomorrow?"

Cause I battle every night,
Knowing that I just might not,
Make it through the inspection,
I do on my brain,
It repeats until I don't have a conscious left,
I can't breath.
Help me.

The battle between one side and another,
The demons and the angels,
Every night it gets darker,
Until my hand isn't being controlled by me,
It reaches for things I never want to see,
It skins things that I had hoped to save.
It repeats until I don't have a conscious left,
I can't breath,
Help me.

One more time,
I inspect my brain,
Write the words over and over,
Think of something better to say,
But there's nothing so I put it simply,
"Will I be alive tomorrow?"

Who’s next?
In this long line of losing people,
It’s going to happen sometime now,
I’m not in denial,
I just want some justification as to why they go.

Look at all the sunsets,
She’s not here with me,
So just keep me company,
Won’t you please?

Sappy morning dew and fog,
Writes out my story on the window,
Let’s leave now it’s time to find more people to lose,
I don’t regret you or your ocean-like eyes,
Cherish every time I fell asleep with you,
Monsters climb out from under the bed,
I really don’t want to lose all these friends.

Look at all these sunsets,
Burning fire like the one inside my heart,
I don’t mind that she’s not here,
Just as long as someone is at all.

Say the US is the land of the free
Starting to think that's the thing,
You've been so obscenely free,
Free to run your mouth,
Free to brandish your gun,
Free to take, steal, and ****.

Aren't you proud?
Oh aren't you proud!
Daddy's favorite side of the earth.

****** on a Sunday,
That’s good money you paid
Oh boy, you just can’t wait,
To make their world mold away.

Aren't you proud?
Oh aren't you proud!
Daddy's favorite side of the earth.

Dragging death on a Monday,
See their skin begin to fade,
As if slowly peeled with a blade,
This is a mess that you have made,
No regret for inflicted pain.

Aren't you proud?
Oh aren't you proud!
Daddy's favorite side of the earth.

Say it again, the land of the free,
In the middle I will never meet,
Cause all you ever do is squeal,
You don't know how to conceal,
Your historical cannibalistic meals.

This is what happens,
What happens to a country,
When the opposition is stamped,
And the institutions have *** with racist sentiments.
That *** must be good if our rights,
The rights of the minorities are tradable.

LAW AND ORDER.
TO THE BONE,
LAW AND ORDER,
UNTIL YOU DROP,
LAW AND ORDER,
GET ARRESTED,

I cannot confine this rage,
We're so liberalized,
Standing in line to die,
Like sheep into the slaughterhouse.

LAW AND ORDER.
TO THE BONE,
LAW AND ORDER,
UNTIL YOU DROP,
LAW AND ORDER,
GET ARRESTED,

What do you think you could do?
Well I think I could break a few windows,
Apple, Starbucks, Meta, Microsoft,
Run into the streets screaming, "**** THE RICH"
But you won't cause it's out of order.

LAW AND ORDER.
TO THE BONE,
LAW AND ORDER,
UNTIL YOU DROP,
LAW AND ORDER,
GET ARRESTED.

WE LOVE,

WE ****,

WE LOVE,

WE ****,

LAW AND ORDER.

~

l o c k  p i c k  t h e  d o o r,

my room is too far away,

p r e t e n d  y o u r e  a l i v e,

poison my food with drugs,

n i g h t s  a r e  s o  i n s a n e,

vaseline lips speak more words than ever,

c e r e a l  i n  t h e  r a t  i n f e s t e d  c u p b o a r d,

no more of this nonsense, just admit defeat my friend.

~

I hope it is sufficient that the reason for my purpose is unknown,
I will try my own **** hardest to prevent my legs from sinking,
The forest surrounding me keeps caving into reckless abandon,
I will finally surrender so I'm back on the ground,
Rocking back and forth to try and plead,  "mercy me!"
Cause simply living feels like a force to reckoned with,
and I just want to get some sleep so that I can face the day,

Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you?
Won't you?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?

Despite the ***** crimes closing in on me,
I absolutely cannot see the forest for the trees,
I understand what I need to be another lamb,
but I've been asking for help since the day I thought, "Why?"
I searched and found my soul inside the merciless trees,
Noticed that every hole that I found was deeper than the last,
Despite the fact that I know I've lost myself,
The sun will rise and I'll fear what I don't believe again.

Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you?
Won't you?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?

I've been dragging myself around by the hair of my nape,
Searching for my dreams or the goal that I can reach,
Brought back from death for I was fearing life itself,
and for the timeless time that I was there,
I am back again to properly surrender my underestimated power,
Instead I'm slipping down the drain.

Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you?
Won't you?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?

Now I’m no genius,
Just barely passed high school,
Couldn’t get through college,
And I can’t keep a **** job,
Maybe I’m being dramatic,
Or maybe you’re a ******* ****.

“You’re not disabled, you’re just a lazy ****”
Burned into my head,
“You’re not a man, you’re just manipulating us”
Burned into my head,
“You’re not suicidal, you’re just selfish.”
Burned into my head.

I’m whatever you say I am,
I don’t own anything when I’m here,
Can’t handle your ****-eating grin,
Want to knock your teeth right out,
But I’m too weak,
I’m burned out,
And I’m a ******* freak.

Good luck, bringing me home.
Cause you won’t see me anymore.
My seat will be empty for the holidays,
I know that you won’t care but…
Everyone else will.

Change this pace,
This year’s home is far away,
I’m okay with it,
This year I’m gonna stand high,
I’m okay with the sound of the future.

Reach out now,
This time I've got my harpoon,
I'm okay with defending you,
This winter has been the best of my last few years.
I'm okay with getting stuck.

I accept it.

Something pulls my feet from underneath the river's surface,
My eyes are drawn to a bright light at the other side,
It flashes mesmerizing colors and I'm leaning into the water,
My hands outreach for it's splendor as I truly start to render it's beauty,
I slip into the river and swim towards the light,
The tugging at my feet grows stronger as I get closer,
But I'm already on shore and I'm holding onto it's existence tightly,
The light glimmers as I hold it close in loving comfort,
I pray to whatever created me that it'll never leave me here to wallow underneath the river.

Can't you see what I see,
You are lovely,
It's framed in my head, undoubtedly.

You light up the darkest nights,
No matter what you say,
No matter how much my edges fray.

Can't you see what I see,
You are lovely,
It's framed in my head, undoubtedly.

Your hands are wrapped in roses,
Warming up the coldest of noses,
No matter how much you oppose it.

Can't you see what I see,
You are lovely,
It's framed in my head, undoubtedly.
Why won't you believe me?

Why won't you believe me?

Intoxicated on your medication
Everybody compares you to drugs
Is it because
You're just so
Toxic yet lovable?

Abandon me on the park bench
Leave me to get high
All alone, on my own
The stars don't seem as bright
We think you're
Just oh so
Lonely yet charming.

Drop our phone call when I'm stranded
Just off of Main Street
Didn't word myself very well
So I'll walk home
You'll feel bad
Only when I get swept away
By traffic and rain.

Romantic isn't your style
You admitted to me
While I was dying on the wayside
Over by eastern tide
Another night again
I guess, I'll walk myself home
As a heartbroken ghost.

Intoxicated on your medication
Everybody compares you to drugs
Is it because
You're just so
Toxic yet lovable?

Annihilate my future,
Every prospect,
Every opportunity,
Every sinking feeling.

Change my trajectory,
Through drugs,
Through alcohol,
Through self-hatred.

Baby, I self-destruct,
Countdown from,
5
4
3
2
1

Lonely at the edge of the world,
With only me, myself, and I to blame,
Don't you dare pity my M.A.D.,
Berate me as you wish and must,
Remind me of how I got here,
My own selfish determination,
It's me and my mistakes,
Here, at the edge of the world,
Here, at the end of the timeline,
Here, at an ergo sum of my lifetime.