I refrain as my frame,
Continuously lies as I let out many unforgiving sighs,
I notice the water is deeper so I falter,
Then he calls me blasphemous as I become slowly passionless,
But that's just fine cause I don't need to follow him into the hollow,
I've got time to strive for my lifeline.

I like you better when I’m drunk
You wouldn’t like me when I’m sober,
Don’t you dare **** up my funk,
Drag me by the chains on my choker.

Do you mind if I dance bad,
I don’t care that I dance bad,
Do you care that I dance bad,
I don’t care if you dance bad.

Told me Texas was your home,
Now you're covered in sinful appeal,
This conversation's so monochrome,
Let's get up and make a colorful reveal.

Do you mind if I dance bad,
I don’t care that I dance bad,
Do you care that I dance bad,
I don’t care if you dance bad.

Deprived of insecurity,
Lack of thought processes,
Possesses me to take action,
You won't like my action though.

I'll be alright,
Just forget me.
I swear I'm no good,
Mind-melded to absolute rubbage.

Held up in a suspension,
Of a singular emotion,
Rotation to my own damnation,
It's time I started eviction.

I'll be alright,
Just forget me,
I swear I'm no good,
Mind-melded to absolute rubbage.

Shaking down my clothes,
Searching for those last puzzle pieces,
To my life they could resolve everything,
Change the way I perceive my own time,
The possibility has me running,
Tossing over ***** laundry and disheveled beds.

Those nights that freeze my attempts,
I keep seeing those corner pieces out of the corner of my eyes,
Every-time I turn around in my head,
I've gotten the big picture but I'm always craving more,
So don't give up on me now.
Don't give up on me now.
Don't give up on me now.
Don't give up on me now.
Please

Remind me Mister Pills,
of when I overdosed.
Remind me Mister Pills,
Of my hallucinations afterwards.
Remind me Mister Pills,
of my failing heart.
Remind me Mister Pills,
That you weren't there

A misty lake,
The cold air,
And my cold feet,
Gentle eyes defeat all the demons,
That shadow my lids.

They walk through the lake,
I can't see nor reach them,
But I can feel their breath on my skin,
Ripping and tearing.

I can see the other side,
The green trees,
peacefully standing,
Almost tauntingly.

I can feel my knees hit the dock,
The rusty nails digging into my flesh,
As the tide washes over my burdened back,
I slip away into the waves.

A still heart,
Polluted with suicide,
Darkened from all the infected scars,
I'll be ****** if I say anything.

Perhaps it'll help if I close my mouth,
Don't speak my mind,
Otherwise it'll burn my lungs,
They don't like it when I speak.

The misty lake,
Tugs at my rusted knees,
But the pain from the nails,
Hold me there.

It's late this night,
We're not in bed,
And we're lit by the fairy lights,
You're in date clothes,
And I'm in my pajamas.
Speaker's turned too high,
It's okay though.

I just hate to see you this way,
You're swaying but not for the music,
And the light in your eyes is dulled,
Cause the toxin is in your system.

I'm getting tired,
You're telling me things,
I can't understand what you're saying,
So it's goodnight,
Cause it hurts to see you,
The thumps upstairs are scaring me.

I think I hate drunk people,
I really hate when you're drunk,
You said you'd never get drunk again.

Remains spread across a mossy bed,
Trees warned of the wind above,
Dissuaded from reassembling,
Decided rotting was better,
Transforming into the earth below.

These hands,
These arms,
This torso,
This mess,

It’s more so,
Less so,
Guess so,
It’s so-so.

From moss comes the dewdrops,
Caught sight of the glimmer,
Travelling inside of fingernail beds,
Through pumping varicose veins,
The pressure erupts through-

These eyes,
These ears,
This nose,
This mess.

It’s more so,
Less so,
Guess so,
It’s so-so.

These legs,
These feet,
This tragedy,
This mess.

I’m less so,
More so,
Guess so,
I’m so-so.

Startled awake,
Thought I was fake,
It didn’t take,
For heaven’s sake.

Everyday, I can see through the drafts,
You're sleepier with every hitch,
The snow's seeming closer as the days grow longer,
And once the longest day of the year pasts,
I know we'll still forge on through mountains.

Mount Everest will be jealous by the amount of people you've killed,
From your everlasting freezing weathered heart,
Maybe you didn't mean to but I won't allow myself to leave,
I'll put on some mountain boots and hike,
Up your slopes I will forge on.

The vices inside that repeat your new boot turned over,
How you've changed, my love, it's inspiring,
Even to the towering Himalayas,
I'll watch you eat some ***** snow before you spit it up,
You're starting to hate the taste and want some fresh ice,
I understand that you're getting too hot.

Mount Everest will be jealous by the amount of people you've killed,
From your everlasting freezing weathered heart,
Maybe you didn't mean to but I won't allow myself to leave,
I'll put on some mountain boots and hike,
Up your slopes I will forge on.

All the thoughts that I hate
And wish to exterminate

Mr. Lake

All the razors that I've flushed
and wish to forget

Mr. Lake

All the memories that I left in the rain
and wish to purge

Mr. Lake

Don't forget that he is alive
He will flood my membrane
fill it with something that I crave

Mr. Lake

Eyes of the cat and teeth of a lion
He'll befriend me
Contending all the secrets
That's him, yes it is

Mr. Lake

To the municipality of my right side brain,
I send you this letter wishing you well,
Asking you kindly for a drop of water,
I know the well has been run dry,
And the rivers are beginning to tire,
Know I'd be forever in debt,
If I were spared just a drop of water.

I want to make,
Make the music I wanted to,
From the very time they told me,
"You'll never make it."
I lost it all.
Breathing hopelessness

I tried so hard to fly,
I tried so hard to walk,
These grounds where the pebbles lay,
Where the glass sticks into my feet,
Like the sand that covers my feet,
Infecting the multiplying wounds,
But I've kept walking.

I don't know how I've made it this far,
But here's to my home and to my family,
And to my friends who stayed when they could,
I trust that this home I've lived will keep me disclosed,
As a neon embroidered gravestone is never what I want,
Play me a song, won't you play me a song?

I'm sick and tired of questioning myself,
Am I enough? Am I purposeful?
It's the bigger picture that I'm worried about,
Never the minute details and happiness,
I'd change if I could but I've wanted something big,
For so many years and to change would be groundbreaking in my head,
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat the day.

The night, the light come on inside my head,
Like a porch with little children,
Forcing me out and making me think about,
How it has to be this way,
And how I have to be this dreamer,
In order to pass in order to survive,
yet at this point....what is it really like to survive?
When help always seems to far away,
So far that it hangs in front of my face like a dog to a bone.

In ever aspect of life,
In the aspect of life itself,
Living and breathing seems like a goal,
An achievement that I cannot reach,
I failed to live for you and that's the truth,
I'm sorry, oh god I'm sorry, when there's no path I was supposed to have made.
Cant keep going, can't keep going.
If I pray to God, will he answer when I'm finally gone?
In this dreamlike state, if feels like hell,
The tightness of my chest, the dryness of my tongue, and the twisting in my gut.

I never want to make you cry,
I never want to hurt you,
I never want to stray away like I've been doing,
And everyone asks "what will you do with him?"
"How will you get him out of his own hole now?"
Well but, I'll get rid of those questions for you,
I'll rid the stress of knowing I fail,
That I'll repeat a fight or an argument,
It's unfair, I know it's unfair,
Just believe me when I say that I am not nor never okay.
It's a front, so I don't have to confront your eyes when you say,
All these things that I care about and what do you mean when you say I'm selfish for even thinking so?

And the words in your hands,
Speak to me like a poem,
I'm captivated and interested from the moment you begin,
The lessons you've taught me,
The joys you've made me feel,
I'd stay alive for you, I'd stay alive for your stories,
But things are so far away now and the torment they've put your through deters you from home,
You've made mistakes and maybe I'm one of them,
Though I know you care and that you want me to learn all of the things you've been given,
You know me better than anyone I've ever know,
So please, don't forget me and do forgive me.

My little drama queens,
You walk with a confidence that I cannot describe,
How you both stay so strong and the happiness you envelope,
I wish I understood, though it might be youth, I hope you never change,
My love for your pride in yourself exceeds any other brother alive,
Know that I care, So know that I care.

Friends,
All my wonderful ones, the ones who left, the ones I had to leave behind,
You're all meaningful, I gave each of you a piece of my heart,
Just to remember and know that I learned,
That I learned that I can be worthy,
That I don't have to stagnant,
Standing still, I have to say, cause I don't want dominoes on my hands,
You are worth it,
When my ship goes down,
You climb up,
I'm sorry, so very sorry.

So I'm gonna say,
It's tonight's crime that may bring light to things I've never said,
To things I've called unworthy, like myself.
"How could he go if he's got everything?"
Well In my head, the friends that I've lost,
and the things I've been through saturates the negative,
I'm just a kid and I've got nothing to bring into the light of my head.

I don't know how I've made it this far,
But here's to my home and to my family,
And to my friends who stayed when they could,
I trust that this home I've lived will keep me disclosed,
As a neon embroidered gravestone is never what I want,
Play me a song, won't you play me a song?

A still indigo is the vice,
Borrowed a blurry guise,
Finding peace in the eyes,
That's just how to die, I surmise.

The haunted lake,
I cannot unmake,
I cannot forsake,
The next daybreak.

A design to only hunger,
Sealed into a bunker,
Despite a fear monger,
Are you just like me, I ponder.

The haunted lake,
I cannot unmake,
I cannot forsake,
The next daybreak.

Breaking into false illusions,
A pulse preludes these intrusions,
Pollution unto starkest collusions,
Lips cracked in many contusions,
Slips into the darkest delusions.

There's no road on the map,
To meet you back,
Do you understand that?

Cracked my head open,
Can’t help hoping,
Wishing fountain,
Tossed my token.

Rotting youth failing,
Found myself bailing,
While still shaping,
I'll be forever fading.

There's no road on the map,
To meet you back,
Do you understand that?

I stand, here in the trees
An ode to a song
And to my life as it roars
Satisfied with the direction
I walk on not a ledge but a bridge,
Hands on the ropes to keep steady

I stand, thanking myself and the people whom surround me,
You’re all contributors to this success,
Thank you from the bottom of this patched soul.

Ode to home, my love, and my friends,
I’m steady and on my way,
Compassion turned passion,
I’m so happy and overjoyed,
That your support keeps me grounded.

Check on me from time to time,
Cause I won’t lie I get down,
But I haven’t cut these wrists since I’ve turned 17,
I feel as if I’ve escaped, I’m in Trench, I’m not alone.

I’m alive.
I’m alive
Alive
Alive
Alive
Alive
I’m alive
I’m alive

How the words bubbled up behind your eyes,
A mirage of love and hate in between it all,
Driven backwards by a lack of comprehension,
And a translator that can’t form the sentences.

Pardon my inability,
I’ve hardly any visibility,
Least I can show my gratitude,
All these breathless platitudes.

Hazy against the pale cynical backdrop,
I wish you could see exactly how I’m wired,
Tired and fired up from the inevitable failure,
Formulate the pencil marks into grey cohesion.

Pardon my inability,
I’ve hardly and visibility,
Least I can show my gratitude,
All these breathless platitudes.

To put it simply.
I’ve been dreaming,
Of leaving,
Singing,
Of leaving,
Pleading,
Of leaving
My whole being,
Needing,
Breathing,
For leaving.

Pardon my inability,
I’ve hardly any visibility,
Least I can show my gratitude,
All these breathless platitudes.