Im holding onto you.
Now I'm holding onto you.
All I'm holding onto is you.
Grasping and holding onto you.

Wipe the sweat off your left cheek,
It's been quite a while so you reek,
Open your tired eyes and peek,
Don't you forget to blink.

What do you think?
Maybe, “I’m a freak.”
Or perhaps, “pathetically meek.”
You’ll ruin your own week.

So then i'd stand,
hand in hand,
hoping it goes as planned.

The hair strand,
falling inland,
my left-hand,
reaching for the inkstand.

Hand.

My fingertips are tipped with black,
I'm watching all the books stack,
before I take my life on the amtrack,

I'm getting so much feedback,
brain is swelling and before I know it I the hand crack,
all the voices are getting cutback.

Hand.

If your really understood,
then why are your hands all wood,
they might as well be on fire, firewood.

Hand.

There's something creeping in the dark
Lurking in the darkest corners of my head
I know what it seeks, what it wants from me
And it's going down on my carcass tonight.

I have nothing to my name
So no matter what I say
I'll just be a pile of bones the next day
Nobody cares for the broken boy
I'm an attention seeking *****
I better find my way home before he dines on me.

The violence in the air
Keeping my brain ******* on
Warns me of something big
So I run the way I did when I was born.

I have nothing to my name
So no matter what I say
I'll just be a pile of bones the next day
Nobody cares for the broken boy
I'm an attention seeking *****
I better find my way home before he dines on me.

I really hope that you're alright,
I keep on noticing all these little changes,
The way your smile never makes the corner of your eyes crinkle.

It concerns that you never want to leave the house,
Even your favorite movie makes you want to die inside,
Could we talk for a little while?

I didn't wanna fall asleep last night,
I was afraid that you would be dead once I closed my eyes,
You keep on giving me those sad eyes and I'm only more convinced.

Hey, can we make some pastries?
I know it won't solve your fake smiles,
But I need to show you that I care the most,
Trust me now, won't you?

Everyday I ask you, "What's the matter?"
You respond without a thought,
I never believed you but I didn't want to pry.

Except that every day that I see you walk by,
I know that all you want to do is find the gun your father has,
I don't even want to think what you'll want with it.

Hey, can we make some pastries?
I know it won't solve your fake smiles,
But I need to show you that I care the most,
Trust me now, won't you?

Checked through all of our old conversations,
Couldn't believe all this time passed,
I've changed so much I doubt you'd even like me any more,
But I just wanna say that I miss you so.

The way you looked at me,
The way you held my hand,
The way we could make each other laugh.
But I just need to say that I miss you so.

The first time I realized I was going to grow old,
Was when I was with you,
You made me the best man I could've ever been,
I wished it never ended,
But I just wanna say that I miss you so.

The way you looked at me,
The way you held my hand,
The way we could make each other laugh,
But I just need to say that I miss you so.

Pink sweatshirts,
Long distances and funny little pictures,
Sleeping through the sound of mothers yelling,
Night-time praises and young love,
Round glasses that always made me melt,
Chocolate brown eyes that you hated.

I just need to say that I miss you so.
I just really need to say that I miss you so.
I just really, really need to sing.
Sing it out of me.

White river calmly flows,
Her sudden moves never too wild,
Along come the people that she tows,
In retrospect, I should have appreciated the mild.

Along the trail, I'll follow the stones,
If anything's true I won't break my arm,
With the things inside my bones,
Things I collected keep me warm.

And the trees become so green,
The moss on the rocks take the sunlight,
Where have I gone and where have I been?
It's been so long since I've fought the fight.

Along the trail, I'll follow the stones,
If anything's true I won't break my arm,
With the things inside my bones,
Things I collected keep me warm.

Kindle this fire,
Feed it with moss,
Singe all your body's hairs,
It's the only way to learn.

Rearrange this damaged root,
That sits at my feet in defeat,
I want to see it grow without the soot,
Slowly becoming stale from this seat.

I could sing this melody for eternity and nobody would hear.
But I don’t really care cause I just wanna feel like I’m doing something with my little poor life.
I could fish off this rock until the sun goes dead and I’d never catch one.
But something inside me tells me it’s alright and that I only need myself to know.

Enough about me, please.
Why don’t you sing for me?
Its getting a little crowded but I’m happy cause you’re here.
You’re singing from corrupted lungs but I don’t care,
You still give me chills as you sing your songs.

I could breath for millennia but no one would see the plumes that come out into the cold morning air.
But I don’t care cause I have you and maybe you can’t see but at least I can hear your voice.
If the sun were to die and I became the light, nobody would care because its just a little light.
But I don’t care cause I like it up there, where there’s no one to make fun of my meaningless songs
but you tell me that they mean something, I still can’t see it but thank you anyway.

Enough about me, please,
Talk to me if you want or sing if you please,
I just wanna know what’s on your mind,
As the room grows smaller on the growing crowd,
I huddle against you and beg you not to leave.

We’re singing through corrupted lungs but I don’t care.
We’ll give the world chills as we sing our songs.

When the sun fell behind the houses on the Friday horizon,
I was sure then and there,
That it was said and done,
My weathered teeth and nails don't work as good as they used to,
If I say and do something wrong I'll blame it on them,
The night's when those attributes start to fade and I'm,
I'm just a boy,
Not a man,
Not a mask,
Just a boy.

It's hard to see you deny,
To contrive all these lies,
How you're not as wonderful as everybody says,
As I say,
And I notice when you look away,
Because you can't face the truth I've placed,
In front of your face for you to take.

On the floor and wondering,
After a long day of wishing the clouds away,
I saw you next to me,
Somehow I remembered that tomorrow was the day,
But something changed and rearranged,
Inside of my chest came a feeling I couldn't ignore,
Overwhelming and calming all at the same time,
Taking my courage with me,
I said something I couldn't and wouldn't take back.

It's hard to see you deny,
To contrive all these lies,
How you're not as wonderful as everybody says,
As I say,
And I notice when you look away,
Because you can't face the truth I've placed,
In front of your face for you to take.

As the note laid under my pillow begun to fade of it's ink,
I was with you and knowing,
There was something more to watch the sun rise once more for,
Stay with me for tonight my dear,
Let's live and sing out our hearts unto the moon's eyes,
You're everything and always for me,
To me,
So give me your hand and I'll hold you for as long as I can,
So stay with me tonight my dear,
Let's live and sing our hearts unto the moon's eyes,
Nobody needs to know that we're home.

It's hard to see you deny,
To contrive all these lies,
How you're not as wonderful as everybody says,
As I say,
And I notice when you look away,
Because you can't face the truth I've placed,
In front of your face for you to take.

i'm unsteady.
not ready.
air is getting heavy.
are you speaking through the telly?

getting wasted on memories.
it's enough to drain my energy.
and steal all my extremities.

i'm so far away.
you're just a replay.
i've seen this scene, okay?

Gun to my head.
keep wishing I was dead.
my vision's just deep red.

bend over backwards.
to see my attackers.
only to find that I am the Hazard?

Here in the dark I will park,
In my spot where I taught,
All my thoughts to flock,
Inside of my head when I'm in my bed,
But when the sun goes I'm not done,
For it's the night that brings me to fight,
If a battle is what I need then hear my bones rattle,
Cause I'm never letting go before I have something to show,
Something to show that I've been through a war, Call fore!

We trade our homes for obsidian stones,
To build our walls inside our bones,
Not to hide but to thrive,
Inside our minds which we believe are fried,
Awakening a soul we lost so long ago,
So we're ready to grow.

My car's on fire so my time is dire,
Heart getting harder with each time I get farther,
From the state of mind that kept me bind,
To a wall to a constant fall,
Of which takes away the best of a day,
Not anymore, I promise, not anymore.

We trade our homes for obsidian stones,
To build our walls inside our bones,
Not to hide but to thrive,
Inside our minds which we believe are fried,
Awakening a soul we lost so long ago,
So we're ready to grow.

Sacrifice vanity,
To see the morality,
Of teenagers in carnality,
This evoked, twisted mentality,
Hear their banality,
Trying to get it out of thee,
As you reach fatality,
Inside their hive mind's lethality.

You're not immune,
To sacrificing yourself far too soon,
But it's the moon that brings your harpoon,
To bleed her out in the middle of the afternoon.

Call me tonight
Hold my spine
As I give up another heart
Is there anything you can do besides pleasing?
Cause I'm only looking for hope

Grab my spine
There's no more heart
Nothing I do, gives me hope
So, give me yours, tonight
It would be quite pleasing

Anything I can do for you, heart?
You lost your spine,
Bet it feels so pleasing
You don't need any hope.
In the midnight, tonight.

Get your ***** hands off of us,
Shove your prehistoric lips into the floor,
Rug burn up your paper thin skin,
Splintered your hollow bones.

Those two got a track record,
Here's to the brandy drunk uncles,
hooded back street lurkers,
and the bar top companions who go by one rule, "you snooze, you loose."

Thoughts and prayers, I love the savior,
Mister Joe, you've got our back,
Tell me what you have up your sleeve,
Next it'll be just an 'abracadabra' away.

in reverse
from the end

this is how
we go through the motions

begin again
happy and so alive

ending in
tears and broken hearts

in reverse
to the beginning

let me
be a kid again

and I
will be happy once more

Dark is the room I was in,
I ran out of light bulbs so many years ago,
I've been sitting here waiting,
Not moving much,
Just hoping that I would get along just fine.

Atop a self-made treehouse,
I’m a self-created personality,
Tree beneath, you’re my morality,
Clouds up above, weak spirituality.

Sitting on the edge,
Where the treeline meets the sky,
Not one of these birds know why,
But they’ve found that they cannot fly,

I feel like buying a gun
Cause I’m not having any fun,
I’m done trying to run,
These days are coming undone,
No longer seeing the sun.

I can’t sleep for the life of me,
Why can’t these thoughts leave me be,
Im struggling to begin to see,
The forest for the trees.

Cry out every night,
God, save me from this plight,
I’m half a human as I write,
Hope I find a little light.

I don’t want to move on,
I keep seeing the same dawn,
It’s the same one I’ve always drawn,
Feeling like a plastic pawn,
I won’t be here for long.

I can’t sleep for the life of me,
Why can’t these thoughts leave me be?
I’m struggling to begin to see,
The forest for the trees.

I had an affair with the entryway,
Touched lips with the steps,
Put my pride down the street lines,
Fell out of love,
And dropped my heart into the potted plants.

Sudden moves so slow to grow,
Record scratches become music to our ears,
Wreck it and tuck it under basements,
Your bed is a colander to sift bad memories,
Outside of each of us is something you can't trust.

Don't trust the shadow boy,
Break ties with his chants,
Fingers crossed, R tossed behind backs,
Take him on now.
Right now,
n o w.

******* your hands,
Restraining rubber bands,
Freakish offhand to demand,
And now we're ******* up contraband,
It might taste like sand,
But it's actually bland, man,
Oh I hate the way I stand,
Do you understand?
Of course you don't understand,
Cause I'm gonna countermand,
Drive yourself to misbrand, me,
This isn't land,
This isn't land,
Just quicksand

Don't trust the shadow boy,
Break ties with his chants,
Fingers crossed, R tossed behind backs,
Take him on now.
Right now,
n o w.

Oh I'm never good enough for you,
Am I?
Oh just let me start my motivation up,
Just for you to feel satisfied!
When are you gonna realize,
That my life is not yours to define?

Well if it's just an excuse,
Then I won't bother explaining anything to you.

it doesn't make sense,
of all the power in the galaxy,
nothing could compare,
never in fear could you see such a place,
it won't make sense,
but that's the point- isn't it?
culminating hell and heaven into one location.
love it until you hate it.

Get a load of me
Get a load of you
Get a load of everyone in this room
Cowards hiding in the corner
Lions standing in the limelight

Everybody's sick of me
Everybody's sick of you
Everybody's sick of everyone in this room
Burnouts staring at the balloon
Royalty living with the runaways

Heard my name
Heard your name
Heard everyone in this room
Cause they screamed at everybody else

From the Cowards in the corner
To the Lions in the limelight
And the Burnouts popping balloons
While the Royalties dine with the runaways

We're so lovable,
Yet so fuckable,
Think we’re functional?
No, just dysfunctional.

Put it in reverse,
Wait here comes the hearse!

Quickly now,
Bring it down,
Not a sound,
Hearts pound,
They surround.

I stopped swallowing a long time ago,
I stopped breathing for you a long time ago,
I couldn't care less if you fell,
Cause I have my own problems too,
You scrapped your knee and I lost my heart.

Best you leave your brain at the door,
Cause we're gonna go crazy,
Tonight's the night we break our bones,

Tonight's the night we twist up the rules,

Tonight's the night we fall down dead,

Then grab your guns and ammunition,
Shoot whatever moves in your blind spots,
Make a deal with the second-hand smoke.

Tonight's the night the ocean dries up,

Tonight's the night the drugs go boom,

Tonight's the night the enemy comes to life.

Best you leave your heart at the door,
Cause we're gonna go crazy,
Tonight's the night we repair our bones,

Tonight's the night we assemble an army,

Tonight's the night we build our plight.

Fall down and scrape your knees,
Hit your head and make your nose bleed,
Cry so hard and break your own soul,
Maybe even break my heart.

Well I didn't know it'd be so hard,
Watching you break your arms,
Holding you oh-so tight,
Just to keep your eyes from falling out.

Feeling bad because I forced you,
Pushed you down some stairs you weren't ready to go down,
Now your guts have been revealed,
Your mother won't leave you alone,
And everyone's gonna know your guts aren't red,
But a deep sea green,
A disease made up of a broken child,
And maybe even some teeth you've been missing since second grade.

You asked me to promise you that I will plant my roots,
And I do, oh god I do,
My tree trunks have been still since the day I kissed your cheek,
You are worth my soul and more,
And should you leave me for the underworld,
I would follow you right down,
Some would call that unhealthy but I've got my future so far and hopeful just from looking at you.

Well I didn't know it'd be so hard,
Watching you break your arms,
Holding you oh-so tight,
Just to keep your eyes from falling out.

I knocked on Death's door asking if I could come in,
He told me, "Kid, you got all the things to live for."
Then slammed the door.

I knocked on Life's door asking for a drink,
She told me, "Kid, get your own drink, you've got your own hands."
Then slammed the door.

I knocked on God's door looking for a savior,
Nobody answered.
So I slammed the door

It's always ending at the little brick road by the creek,
In my dreams I will laugh in despair cause it's not fair,
What the trees like to believe is that I am there for my dying days,
The problem is that they might be right but I can't tell,
Cause my fists are numb and there might be some razors buried inside,
My fair skin begins to bleed cause I've been running away with common sense.

I wanna go somewhere,
Where nobody knows my name,
Where my socks aren’t the same,
And my eyes won’t scan the ***** floor.

If you wonder if I’ll ever change,
Then you better settle down,
There’s a chair and a cup of champagne,
It’s a lifetime you’ll wait just to frown.

I wanna go somewhere,
Where nobody knows my name,
Where my socks aren’t the same,
And my eyes won’t scan the ***** floor.

My track record will never be linear,
For the bones my skin rests upon,
Beg and scream at me so it’s all that I hear,
Maybe if I play harder it won’t feel so wrong.


Im not your boy,
Im not your girl,
Im not your friend,
Im not your toy,
I understand,
That you hate my guts.

The air is feeling quite tight,
Heavy weight on the shoulders,
All the eyes inside aren’t too bright,
Churning in an earth-shattering fight.

Must I write of every tragedy?
Does it accomplish what I want?
Or is it a selfish, eccentric perspective?
I don’t really care to correct it.

Water me down, flower kid,
To a seed in the ground.

There's no such thing as wanting to die,
You're just a silly sad butterfly,
Plummeting gracefully from the sky.

I'm sitting on the floor,
As the room closes in before me,
Staring blankly at the pale paint,
It nears my tear-stained face,
A note slips under the door.

He says, let me in, let me in,
I'll open the door with nothing left to hide.

He's got his hand in mine,
We are both just as broken,
Our problems won't dissolve,
So we play with the devil.

He says, Let me in, Let me in,
I'll open the door with nothing left to hide.

Forecast had been getting me down,
A puzzle-piece brain rearranging,
Shaking the foundations of my sanity,
Produced for myself, an island alone,
Like Atlantis I would sink to disappear,
Expected to never be found again.

It's stormy,
My strain forming,
Wished I was a story,
Make believe,
Fictional,
Paper-thin product producing purpose.

Instead I was holding onto hot coals,
How in all of the ocean was I alive,
After all the waves and the sharks,
I was alive.

Your mama calls you a flower,
But you believe you're a ****,
Stealing water from all your friends,
Your pokey leaves don't affect me,
I'll water you with everything I've got,
And It's a lot.

Dirt glows green,
When you're not happy,
Oh, I notice it every time,
I'd like to hold your petals,
Show you what you've been missing out on,
All the flowers lies and pushed you aside,
I won't let that happen,
Cause I believe I'm a **** too.

Your mama calls you a flower,
But you believe you're a ****,
Stealing water from all your friends,
Your pokey leaves don't affect me,
I'll water you with everything I've got,
And It's a lot.

Again and again the gardener came by,
To extract you from the growing lawn,
This time though, I'll be beside you,
We'll hold out another week.

I know I shouldn't be cursing
Mamma wouldn't be proud
I think about it everyday
How I can't be the boy
She wants me to be

I'm to weak
Beaten down
Into the black pavement
To follow every saint
I don't hear the clouds sing
I couldn't hear the clouds sing
I'm descending now

Manufactured my own shell,
To defend against any provocation,
Not seeing past the ceramic station,
You'll ask why but I'll never tell.

I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I'm the draw back for them,
Draw back, draw back my friends,
I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I know that I'm the draw back,
The draw back, draw back for my friends.

Single out every defense I create,
Wait until I go completely insane,
No matter which name you claim,
I'll never fall out of my figure eight.

I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I'm the draw back for them,
Draw back, draw back my friends,
I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I know that I'm the draw back,
The draw back, draw back for my friends.

Change is always so strange,
I can't tell if its interior I rearrange,
Or if my brain is mistaking change,
For the shame and the blame I take,
To transform into art for my own sake.

I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I'm the draw back for them,
Draw back, draw back my friends,
I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I know that Im the draw back,
The draw back, draw back for my friends.

I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I'm the draw back for them,
Draw back, draw back my friends,
I don't wanna fall back,
Fall back, fall back on them,
I know that I'm the draw back,
The draw back, draw back for my friends.

Are we making the right mistakes?
Are we driving the wrong direction?
Nothing is certain but everything’s treasure.
Donuts and dinner to graveyard simmer.

Autumn stars and rising moon,
Rising stars and autumn moon,
I’m just so sick of feeling so blue,
You’re just so blue of feeling so sick.

Cacophonies,
Caterwauling,
A somber symphony,
Coming from the concrete,
Underneath, below the street.

Sing me a song,
It's been there too long,
I've been way too strong,
I just wanna get along.