I'm young, tired, and feeling useless.
Don't know where I'm gonna go,
But I wanna make the opportunity to become something.

I'm driving on this road with nowhere to go,
I guess it all depends on me and what I decide to do,
I can't even lift my hands in the morning,
So how am I suppose to write song for my demons?

Blank walls, tore down all my posters,
He told me that I was not good enough,
My dysphoria won't stop so,
how am I supposed to keep living alone?

I'm young, tired, and feeling useless.
Aren't you tired of me?
I've done nothing but sit here and dream.

The need for purpose becomes my purpose,
I hope it won't be this way forever,
But I wanna make the opportunity to become something.

Let's take this operation and send it south,
Where all the hopeless children go to rot,
Im a carcass with a soul,
An angel with no God.

You better stay inside,
Watch the sun come hither,
To destroy our purgatory,
Well, I say bring it on,
Show them I'm not afraid to die.

Let's take this operation and send it south,
Where all the sinner children go to scream,
I'm a coffin without a tomb,
A demon with leftover love.

When you don't know,
Which way's home,
Look to the sky,
I'll send you the bird,
With mischievous glee.

Me and my bug juice,
Wander these pixel halls,
In a disguise,
To hide from curious eyes.

This dress I'm in,
Is too bright,
The seams,
Like to hurt my arms,
And the wind,
Brushing along my legs,
Make me feel icky.

Me and my bug juice,
Wander these pixel halls,
Keeping disguised,
To hide from prying eyes.

The sweat pants,
I befriended,
Books keep my mind,
Distracted from...


Me an d my bu g juice , (Daddy got it for me !)

Wand r these pix el halls , (Barely remember where it was ?)

Slowly d elirio s , (Don't make him mad , please ?)

I 'm try ing to be se ious . (Wasn 't trying to laugh , I promise !)


Me and my bug juice,
Wander these pixel halls,
Keeping disguised,
To hide from prying eyes.

Call my name in the murky water,
Hold still and let me go,
Tonight, the tide is rising,
I'm beginning to fear the changing,
Although, I know, everything will be alright,
Follow me inside so that I don't have to be alone,
I'm submerged and drowning,
Whisper secrets in my ear,
Listen to me tell my stories.

The house is under the water?
What do I do now?
Mama, help me, oh please,
Get rid of all these catastrophes.

I'm running and gasping for breath,
Asthma embedded in my lungs,
Dead ends and cobwebs line these soaked halls,
Well, if nothing really matters than why am I still beside you?
Despite, the pressure on my chest,
And the waves, they somehow reach me from miles under the surface.

The house is under the water?
What do I do now?
Mama, help me, oh please,
Get rid of all these catastrophes.

Pushing for more, I don't want to hate my life forevermore,
Give me an arm or a heart to hold onto, my dearest.

Glass potion bottle,
Are you filled with confidence?
I kind of need it with the state,
That the world is in.

The world's gone dead,
Yet appears to be thriving on it's own terms,
Clear waters and growing green leaves,
Once we are gone- the earth reclaims it's home.

Nervous cause now,
I can't move from this house,
Hard to call it home when it's got your guts in knots,
The fire's in my room, it's too bright.

The world's gone dead,
Yet appears to be thriving on it's own terms,
Clear waters and growing green leaves,
Once we are gone- the earth reclaims it's home.

Cacophonies,
Caterwauling,
A somber symphony,
Coming from the concrete,
Underneath, below the street.

Sing me a song,
It's been there too long,
I've been way too strong,
I just wanna get along.

Something takes ahold,
So I don't lose control,
The highway just winds me down,
I'm rushing for a breath,
As it follows me again,
Up into the underbrush,
I feel my legs give in,
to the monster on my skin.
Oh god.
It hurts.
The fingers on my chest,
Scratching at my flesh.

What Is this,
Feeling,
Of control,
I want to lose myself again.

It climbs into it's disguise,
My skin.
Bloodied and cold, I,
Follow the morning star until I can't anymore,
This isn't who I am and I would like to scream,
but he took my teeth,
"I'll never be free." says my mentality.
The day drags on,
I can feel my skin as it tightens around the beast,
My hands are digging for purpose and a hold.

What is this,
Feeling,
Of Control,
I want to lose myself again.

Remember when you got me,
Safely to ground,
But now the tides have been rising,
I'm sinking even further down.

I won't drown in this sea,
Not by your hands,
I will try to fly,
but my wings are soaked,
In the burning sea water.

As the ocean throws me around,
I am lost as to what I can say,
You said that you'd be there for me,
But now I see the blue sea is tugging me further.

But I am here so you won’t take me down.
Bring me to life, bring me to shore.
I don’t care if you don’t care,
I’ve got this now, I’m on my way.
Walking underwater but it’s steady,
I’m getting there.

Arms out against the cold,
Wind is blowing, I'm told,
"Possibility becomes reality."
I just wanna run down the town,
Look at the seeds that you have sown.

The seats you have left untouched,
Are feeling like you were unjust,
To the friends you have lost,
Sing that song of Home,
It'll forgive you for Rome.

I put my heart inside your fridge,
Left it there for you to find,
It's in the very back corner,
I hope no one else see's it,
Cause what I have is only for you.

Listen to me,
I'll tell tall tales,
Of stormy seas,
And who I used to be.

I left my hands inside your mother's car,
So I can sign my care for you,
Grab onto them if you're ready,
When you're ready,
I'm here for you to fall on when you're down.

Listen to me,
I'll tell tall tales,
Of stormy seas,
And who I used to be.

My head is ******* too loose,
It’s becoming easier to lose,
I’ve been getting more bruised,
The more I dig around for clues.

I thought there was something awry,
So I took a look inside,
Found that I was right,
A sleeping beast, what a sight.

Just fresh out of my teens
Now fresh out of dopamine,
Good thing I’m full on fluoxetine,
All my vacant dreaming scenes,
Cut, now, tell me what it means.

I’ve fallen in between,
I’m my own misery,
A breech delivery,
In all my holy glory.

Look away from my tattered rind,
Fell away, I’m naked and unconfined,
“Kiss my ***” tatted on my behind,
Is anyone inclined to **** the divine,
It’s all sibylline story time, in my mind.

I’ve fallen in between,
I’m my own misery,
A breech delivery,
In all my holy glory.

Red dots trained on my cranium,
Bullets full of lithium and ******,
Collapse inside the auditorium,
Shot down for hefty sums,
Go ahead and sell my lungs.
Sell both my lungs and then my tongue,
Come on lets go you ******* ***,
Sell both my lungs and then my fun,
Come on let’s go become totally numb.

I’ve fallen in between,
I’m my own misery,
A breech delivery,
In all my holy glory.

Pockmarked arms,
Sound off alarms,
Stargazing farms,
Dependent on charms.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody had better cower!

I don’t give a ****,
By stupid, you’ve been struck,
As you run amok,
Running over kids with your truck.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody duck and cower!

Planted marigold at the doorstep,
There's blood left in your stead,
Its all you’ve ever been fed,
I think you're out of your depth!

Hats off,
Heads down,
Gather round,
Pray for the sound,
Pray for the sound,
Pray we'll all be found.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody duck and cower!

I wish my daddy tried harder for me,
Cause I missed him so much,
All the elementary years,
Spent wondering,
“am I a burden on my father?”

I was told I wasn’t,
That he loved me dearly,
And that he had to leave home,
To keep working to the bone.

Yet he’d tell tales about jumping from cliffs,
Running from the pigs that infested the cities,
Flew to Malaysia but still couldn’t visit me,
Now I’m starting to wonder if he really meant any of it.

I was told he did,
That he loved me dearly,
And that he had to leave home,
To keep working to the bone.

Well I’m not convinced.
I’m nearly 20 years in age,
And I think that he thought nothing of me.

I need something to breath for me,
I need something to **** for me,
I need something to feel for me,
I need something to see for me,
I need something to walk for me,
I need something to cry for me,
I need something to **** me.

So distant from the future yet so close to the past,
This barrier that prevents me from taking one more step,
Eyes to the ground I won't make eye contact,
These greedy beings are far too rough to me.

Cease to exist,
Won't be fixed,
Down the list,
I'm told I'm missed,
It hurts like an engorged cyst.

Wringing my bones of the infectious mold,
Pay God a sum to fix me with venomous tongues,
I won't bathe in the pity that a loved one engorges on,
All day and every night till the very day I die.

Cease to exist,
Won't be fixed,
Down the list,
I'm told I'm missed,
It hurts like an engorged cyst.

Waterboard these treasonous instincts,
Tomorrow's a new day to forgive you of the infliction,
Another wine cup made from Jesus that I won't drink,
I've kissed Lucifer and told him God is nobody worth loving,
Cause if God won't love me for who I was and who I became,
Then God doesn't deserve to breed his impotence and greed.

Yet.
In all his glory, he shines down on the sinners,
Promising to be the golden riches we lust after,
He no longer deserves capitalization for further polluting,
O' our wretched hands.

You’re right, I haven’t got a clue,
I’m chinaware and easy to abuse,
Deaf to every new break through,
Your worldview needs a peer review.

Beaten tender,
Return to sender,
Frail transgender,
On a ******.

You're right, I won't be here for long,
I'm moving on and feeling headstrong,
Sure I'll play along but I won't sing your song,
Without you, I've been redrawn, ripped up my lawn.

Beaten tender,
Return to sender,
Frail transgender,
On a ******.

Climbing mountains slowly,
Garbage piles up at my feet,
Crumbling rocks tumble my way,
I've made a landfill with my own head,
So I know I've got power,
But not the power to say alive.

How do I do that?
I just want to get drunk,
To cry myself to sleep,
Swallow down a bottle,
And hope for the best of the worst.

It comes with the plastic that burns into my nostrils,
Why does every star fall into my landfill?
Shouldn't it stay where it was?
In the sky where the moon shines so bright.

How do I do that?
I just want to get drunk,
To cry myself to sleep,
Swallow down a bottle,
And hope for the best of the worst.

You’re dragging behind
Dragging behind,
Your kids left you behind,
Slagging behind

Maybe if you were more kind,
The eldest wouldn't have left you behind,
Maybe if you gave him peace of mind,
The middle wouldn't have left you behind,
Maybe if you never commented on her outline,
The youngest wouldn't have left you behind.

You’re dragging behind
Dragging behind,
Your kids left you behind,
Slacking behind as you whine.

In time,
I know that you will find,
Karma loves to feast on the rind,
Of those who are purposefully purblind.

I fall to you,
Rain comes to me,
My body’s laying on the cold hard floor,
And I know deep inside that I’ve lost my plight,
I know you’re waiting for me, Lord,
But I don’t wanna do this anymore.

Fighting battles against who I should believe and who I wanna be,
I’m at war with my core,
I hope you understand that I’m lost as ever,
Now pour onto me to keep me pleading.

Selfish crimes are taking my vision,
I feel your breath in the air I breath but you’re gone from my dream and I’m struggling to believe,
I do believe that you understand what I mean,
Now leave me here to die nine times before I pick myself up and cry again.

When you look upon yourself in the mirror,
Do you see what I see?
Because the way you look away when I say,
"You're amazing."
Just gives me proof that you're out of this world,
It's okay, It's okay, it's okay.

It's time for you to learn,
To learn to love yourself.

You're framed inside a picture,
That's moving out of the gallery,
And your eyes hold the stars,
While your hands hold the torch,
Of all the art in the gallery you're the most stunning.

It's time for you to learn,
To learn to love yourself.

And when the sun sets on the hills,
It reminds me of your smile,
Call me cheesy and a dork now if you want,
But I'm telling you the truth, my dear,
It's the truth,
So for me,
Could you find a way,
To love yourself.

Jaundice on my skin,
Texture like old paper,
With every page turned,
I am learning something new.

Sit up,
It's not bedtime yet,
Sit up,
You have some ideas,
Sit up,
You can do this.

Take care of my nails,
While I stand in the center,
Of my palm while dreaming,
November might take me home.

Sit up,
The list is incomplete,
Sit up,
Your name isn't written,
Sit up,
The sun is yours to grasp.

Jaundice on my eyeballs,
I haven't drank a drop in my life,
Yet I feel drunk with shaky legs,
And I won't stop feeling so inspired.

The Exxon curb is my home,
For the next five minutes it is my own,
It's few feet of curb that I won,
By sitting and drinking my green tea.

This is my chrome golden lair,
Under heaven's blessed stairs,
Where the lights go out suddenly,
And I'm finding myself stumbling.

Don't have enough time to wander the city,
I'll be home by the time it's dark,
Cause I don't care except when you're calling me,
Please don't talk to me like that.

This is my chrome golden lair,
Under heaven's blessed stairs,
Where the lights go out suddenly,
And I'm finding myself stumbling.

The sanctity of normalcy,
Shanked and left to bleed,
Out on the crooked streets,
They say, "all we need is diplomacy."

Wheres my home now,
Walls have been torn down,
Cant see my way around,
My home is hell-bound.

My home is hell-bound.

Leave rationality at the threshold,
Like a pet left in the winter cold,
Body rotting into Stachybotrys mold,
Creeping back inside by tenfold.

Wheres my home now,
Walls have been torn down,
Cant see my way around,
My home is hell-bound.

My home is hell-bound.

Setting sail for broken moons and drifting stars,
In a sea of faded galaxies,
Pouring into the waterfall that meets the edge of the world,
Greedy jewels inside farewells.

Flooded eyes, won't you meet me here?
Among the broken message men,
They will float around us as we walk,
And talk about the things we knew.

Nebulas bleed into the sea,
Searching our feet for something new,
It appears that we,
Like to lie about what we see.

Flooded eyed, won't you meet me here?
Among the broken message men,
They will float around us as we walk,
And talk about the things we knew.

I know we both wish for the sky to speak,
No matter what we may believe,
I know we both wish for the sky to speak,
No matter what we may believe.

I closed my eyes,
Only to see more open inside my head,
I'm slipping on all their tears,
Though I can tell that they want to speak,
They've got no mouths to speak with,
But I can feel their emotions through my speakers.

I'm unable to run far,
But when their chemical tears slip through me,
I am given the strength to point my pain to sound,
I'm avoiding every eye that says he'd die to survive.

Then those eyes bring me happiness,
Along with the love for the sound of the piano,
Step up to the plate I need to go,
These eyes won't let me go,
I appreciate that but I need to walk further than ever before.

I'm unable to run far,
But when their chemical tears slip through me,
I am given the strength to point my pain to sound,
I'm avoiding every eye that says he'd die to survive.

It's getting cold in my eyelids,
December's coming,
Though it's far,
It feels so close,
But I've got things to do,
Things to keep moving until the very day I die.

I'm unable to run far,
But when their chemical tears slip through me,
I am given the strength to point my pain to sound,
I'm avoiding every eye that says he'd die to survive.

This conjecture comes sweet like vengeance,
Absolute to the words of the page,
Remark about the stage of grief we never leave,
Visceral emotions call to the passionate.

Hindered under the scorching sun,
Demand our heads to be ******,
Partial to the call of the political crisis,
Harrowing circumstances leave no room.

Line up, babes,
We’re all cardboard cutouts,
Against the merciless manifest destiny,
We’re all worth killing, babes.

Founded,
A toy of a women.
Her eyes of gold,
and tongue of thorns.

She eyes the cigarette in his open mouth
His limbs sprawled onto the floor
The lungs he once spoke from, now charred with tar.

The ink from my pen spills onto the sand,
My hands drop down to scoop it all up,
Like an addict with *******, I'm enraptured by the pain,
So I'm getting it tattooed into the page that sits inside my head,
The ink in the sand spreads into the sea,
Blackening it all so that I can dip myself inside,
I submerge myself in the ink-water, smiling as I breathe in the liquid,
Exhaling colorful water to keep myself alive and well.

Take me down,
Into my grave,
Sing me to sleep,
And give me prayers,
To call myself home,
But he won't hear his name,
Being called from my grave,
So I kneel and weep,

So, Take me down,
To the sea,
In a watery grave,
I will lay,
As you feed me tales,
Of his everlasting love,
I called his name,
But he's not home,
So I kneel and weep,
Under the sea.

Take me down,
Into the forest,
Where time stand still,
I will stay, standing quietly,
Listening for his voice,
Among the trees,
And I call my name,
Through the trees,
But I am silent.

Take me down,
To the sand,
Let me see where I am free,
So I follow the footprints in the sand,
Because my lights are fading fast,
I don't need, his breath to stay,
In order for me to stay alive,
I slam the door and fall to the floor,
Calling his name.

Curves and lines,
Shapes and areas,
Crowded around in art,
A creative mind full wreck of youth,
He’s healing.
Being bathed inside of his room,
A room of green,
A room of stale ideas come to life.
He’s got his hand on the future,
But taking the step scares him the most,
He’s ready,
He knows he is,
He’s been through years,
And those years killed fears,
But along with his friends.
Though he’s lost all meaning to losing friends,
He knows they mean well and he’s got more to see,
So watch him heal,
His eyes are more blue than they’ve ever been,
His head is clearer with every sip of bleached river water.

Indents and impressions,
Bends and rounds,
Sending signals of health and healing,
Sent home to where the family under the roof welcomes him inside of his dreams,
So if you’re okay with him,
He’ll take that step to a new day,
A sunny summer day in the middle of winter,
He’ll sleep on a rainy day,
But only be more productive the very next,
He’s doing change,
Allegories and curses inside his brain becoming strangely kind and hopeful,
He’s loving it by loving himself,
In a way of which is hopefully not conceited,
As he hopes he never becomes,
Green envelopes healing boys,
Green screens the depression’s knife from viewing.
Green is the color of winning in his roomy world.

Behind your eyelids I can see,
A entourage of demons,
They'll make you feel alone and break your veins.

I will tell them to step down,
Cause I'm in front of your Irises,
And I'm the one to tell you what's truth from false.

I dream of life outside,
the walls that caved me in.
In this particular silence,
without rhythm does my heart beat.

Under the trees
and forestry greens
a life you refused to see
blinded by the holy grail in your way

Home is where I died

I'm so tired of all these ghouls at my door,
Trying to spin me around, my guts up in knots,
So then a week later I'll go to emergency care,
I don't wanna grow old,
But I don't wanna fear life anymore.

Delivery Driver is the game today,
I hope I'll keep it for tomorrow's sake,
Don't you wimp out on me dear ghouls,
Causr I'm sick of forcing you away.

I think its time I open my door,
Maybe let them in to talk it out,
And spare myself the grief of running out.

I don't wanna grow old,
But I dont wanna fear growing up anymore.

Sewing patches of hearts back together,
I'm a fixer boy, but I don't fix your roof,
Line up outside my garage,
Tell me what's the problem,
I'll be there for you.

But now, time has run out,
I've bought all I could,
And killed all I can,
Though the sunlight is seeping,
I know that it will go down.

Served my purpose on a platter,
Fine dined on overconsumption,
Created a new vision of peace.

Peace in eternal tides of the moon,
Waxing and waning with each death,
Polarized the warning into lies,
Molars getting pulled with love.

Handed the knife to the dead,
Make of them a name to sing,
To careen into this fascist affair.


I love you,
                   Puny Peasant.

From Yours Truly,
                                The State.

Here come the stranger things of the night,
Some call them demons and some it'd be monsters,
But to myself it's just me and poison boy's misadventures,
Our rocking bed atop a stormy sea,
He's beside me and I trust him with my life.

Our plight to death,
He says, "Say your goodbyes."
I say, "Yes, sir."
Our plight to light,
He says, "Say your dreams."
I say, "Yes, sir."

Breaking my shell off to rip me of my confines,
Poison boy doesn't care about that at all,
But I do, oh god do I care,
Stop breaking my face, my soul, my dreams,
Curb stomping me into my irreversible creation,
Why did I give in?
Why did I give in?

My corpse worn to nothing,
Could I prove that I am something?
The world might come to an end,
Unless you've got a hand to lend.
Every night I need to comprise,
It's proven worthy to be concise.

In the morning,
Send a warning,
I'll be there soon.

Alien ink thinks to itself,
While it sits upon the shelf,
In the corner of my vision,
It's a collision, a kaleidoscope,
microscopic, atomic atom particles,
I don't have any obstacles,
Other than my fears and self-destruction.

In the morning,
When it starts warming,
My corpse starts forming, reforming,
Send me a text,
I'll catch up to you next.

I wore this faded hat of blue,
A symbol of a time long passed,
Now it's on my shelf,
Waiting to be revived,
Waiting for something that will never return.

Cause I've found peace,
Inside this sound,
Inside his eyes,
And that peace will prolong until I am gone.

Invert those colors and you'll get red,
The truth reveals itself and I can run,
To life,
To fight,
I will continue on in empathy of living.

There's a place that I wanna go,
Somewhere that I've never gone,
Someplace that I wanna stay,
And leave this troubled place.

Here come the red lights,
Red hair and suit coat,
Laden in sinners blood,
What else would he be but bold.

Escape the body I feel,
Maybe I'll be on my knees,
Never ever breaking free,
Of the confines I write.

Here come the red lights,
Red hair and suit coat,
Laden with sinners blood,
Who else would I know.

There's a place I wanna be,
To exist and never leave,
Till my body dies and stuck there,
While I'm off in space without a fare.