Who will I be,
Who will I become,
When will I fly away,
When will I go home.

The lake never looked so much darker.
I used to see the bottom but now all I see is black.
I climb to the edge of the dock knowing my fate as clear as day.
I dip my hand into the water and start to fade away.

Who will I be,
Who will I become,
When will I fly away,
When will I go home.

My body feels like a mere illusion,
Wavering back and forth between common ideas and useless ideals,
The black waves rock over me until I lose my breath,
I can feel something tugging on my leg,
Urging me to sink farther.

Who will I be,
Who will I become,
When will I fly away,
When will I go home.

Underneath the bridge and into the misty fog,
I will search for your soul that you lost so long ago,
Time passes and I can hardly remember where I came from,
The path fades from my memory and I'll dig in the ground to find a trace of home,
Your soul won't be found by mortal hands like mine,
So I'll rest on the dirt and tear my hair out of it's roots,
So frustrating how this time I'm wasting as I know your soul is waiting in the undergrowth.

You're so cold
Can you see?
That I wish for no more pain and loss of rain,
So send me down, on my way, to find your body,
Resting away.

Flashing strobes blind me while I desperately plead that you give me one more chance for the fifth time,
On time, that's all, I'll bring your breaking mortal body to your soul,
Just don't leave me alone,
Cause I'm petrified of losing my life,
To my own *****, ***** deeds.

You're so cold
Can you see?
That I wish for no more pain and loss of rain,
So send me down, on my way, to find your body,
Resting away.

Make it pour,
Make it pour,
Make it pour,
Sweep me into the door,
Make it pour,
Make it pour,
Make it pour,
Drown me in more,
Make it pour,
Make it pour,
Make it pour,
I’ve made it to the shore,
Make it fall onto my heart.

The ink from my pen spills onto the sand,
My hands drop down to scoop it all up,
Like an addict with *******, I'm enraptured by the pain,
So I'm getting it tattooed into the page that sits inside my head,
The ink in the sand spreads into the sea,
Blackening it all so that I can dip myself inside,
I submerge myself in the ink-water, smiling as I breathe in the liquid,
Exhaling colorful water to keep myself alive and well.

If you're asking me where I'm going tonight,
I won't tell the truth cause I think you know the answer,
I've told the stories of how I'd stare at bathroom stalls until I fell into sleep,
Things don't seem as bright as they used to be and the flowers don't hold the key to happiness in the world,
I've told the stories of how I'd lose myself in blade reflections until I dozed off into sleep,
But I know that I fought a good fight and I'll keep fighting it until my true dying days,
I hope that I never lose myself to my own hands and head.

Your eyes were so cold, unenamored by your world that was cascading into the sky.
I tried my best to give you what you wanted but I was just a small child.
You were falling so fast and I was watching it all go down.
Behind broken mirrors I could see you hated yourself and everyone who dared to call you family.
Never close enough to hold you but enough to see you were broken,
The drugs and the alcohol starving your system of love and care.
A shell of apathy, a sheep's ghost among wolves.

Now, I ask of you to, let me into your head to take that pain.
You're my friend and that won't ever change as long as you don't push me away.
Now, I ask of you to, let me hold you tight tonight.
Tonight.

Johnny Kid, where were you when she laid in her nursing home,
Drained of life and anesthetized with morphine,
She called for you, Johnny Kid, while you were drunk on Woodland Boulevard,
Her spine frail and weak, breathing heavy and unanswered,
Johnny Kid, you've been getting into the nose candy and momma ain't happy,
She's still resting on her plastic sheets, only seconds away from the forever sleep,
Poor Johnny Kid, looks like he might overdose, on the morphine he stole from the nursing home,
Now momma closes her eyes in disappointment, suddenly she's never waking up and Johnny Kid's hitting the road again.

Two hands will start bleeding again,
They don’t have a body only a stump,
They bleed colorful liquid onto the carpet of my room,
As I try to stitch them up,
They fall apart as I crash into the floor,
Melding into the carpet and messy clothes,
The hands start to flood my room,
I’m drowning in the rainbow syrup,
The hands are dead on the floor once more,
It’s time for me to fade.

A night in the forest has been due for some time,
All those internal urges to scream and cry,
The times I wanted to dig a hold and die,
So I can tell you that a night in the woods would do me good.

A night in the woods would give me closure,
I don't have to feel the emotions that run down my spine,
Finding a shovel would be impossible in the ebony night,
This I why I say that a night in the forest is required.

But even a night in the woods would tear me down,
My eyes cannot see what is in front of me,
In the darkness of the forest I could fall into one of those holes,
Maybe a night in the forest isn't worth it.

You are so sure,
That you hold the key to unlock the meaning,
To your life and everything in the clouds,
I encourage you to fly away into your own body,
The stronger you believe yourself to be, that'll be how strong you'll become.

Tell me pretty sir,
What’s your preferred name,
They all call you James,
But you wanna be a nightmare or a night-scare.

They all hold you back but I'm here to tell you,
You're the sky itself so grab a hold of the lightning and the rain,
You have everything under your own mind,
Who cares if they take away the clouds,
The time has come for you to breath in plumes of life.

Tell me pretty sir,
What’s your preferred name,
They all call you James,
But you wanna be a nightmare or a night-scare.

I’m stranded on this wooden raft,
Surrounded by the ghosts of the deep,
My body is falling apart with every move I make to keep myself awake,
Eyes stare me down from the waves above me,
They never could crash down onto me,
But I’m asking politely, please.
The dark waters call my name,
I’m asking myself if this is what I was meant to be all this time,
I can taste the blood welling into my mouth,
Cause nothing tastes as I want it to anymore.

I’m calling you down,
From your hiding place,
Please.
Save me.

I will try to avoid those eyes,
But now I'm here to give you words as to use,
To teach you how to live,
And take your pain to turn it into something memorable,
And take your anger to turn it into beauty.

I will deny you for years,
Well I'm sorry that I'm leaving the kingdom,
But I can't keep myself here to fall much longer,
Lord, let me die in your arms and I will tell you to revive me,
Then when I see you here I will believe you are with me.

Don't be gone,
Don't be gone,
You're worth life,
Don't be gone,
Don't be gone,
You are lovely,
Don't be gone,
Don't be gone.

She fell so hard,
So fast,
And I never even cared,
Even in the darkest nights when I gagged and bound her,
Trying to show her the meaning of my sand,
I try to give her a place to show herself to me,
But her head is enveloped in water so she only sees,
What she wants to see.

In the darkness of the volcanic sand,
It's pitch black words sink into my soul,
As I find my peace between it's grains,
But I can't pull it out from there.

All she can see are the black clouds,
The rolling thunder,
The falling rain,
All she'll ever know is how to lose to a landslide,
The shifting mud,
The ***** sand,
All I'll ever know is that I wasn't good enough

For me to stick around,
I'd have to be cured of this disease,
I'd have to be crucified and put on display,
For me to stick around,
I'd have to find my own peace,
I'd have to fine the white kingdom,
For me to stick around.

Things are getting slower,
Time running down to a stop at the red lights,
The car thinks there's something wrong with them,
So it runs on it's own depression,
My legs are faltering as I attempted to pour more gas,
All I did was start a fire,
My charred hands try to take a hold of the wheel but the car has other plans,
I inject poison into my veins to hope I can hear my existence once again.

Who do I know enough to say that I can’t walk any farther on these legs?
Why can’t I tell them that I’m falling so far?
My hands are ensnared in a trap of my mind’s own making,
I want to take up your time to say that I am ready to leave this world,
But I refrain because my frame is so close To the car waiting for me on the side of the road.

Save me...
Save me...
I’m so lost
I’m so gone
Save me...
Save me...
I’ve lost my voice
I’ve lost my sight
Save me, please
Save me, please

I need something to breath for me,
I need something to **** for me,
I need something to feel for me,
I need something to see for me,
I need something to walk for me,
I need something to cry for me,
I need something to **** me.

Strike me down,
Bring your lightening,
Pour the blood over my still body,
I've contradicted my own story enough times,
You can strike me down,
Bring your holy spirit to me,
And burn your marks into my ribs forevermore.

It's always ending at the little brick road by the creek,
In my dreams I will laugh in despair cause it's not fair,
What the trees like to believe is that I am there for my dying days,
The problem is that they might be right but I can't tell,
Cause my fists are numb and there might be some razors buried inside,
My fair skin begins to bleed cause I've been running away with common sense.

Here in the dark I will park,
My cab and pray that it will not get blown away,
I let the engine run as I continue my search for more,
The cab then begins its journey as it suddenly contrives,
Through lightless tunnels and pouring rain on the shores,
It stops in front of a light and I’m blinded by the sheen,
I suddenly find that I am scared of what I’ve been searching for,
I figure out that I cannot take the wheel so I backpedal into the trunk,
I feel the cab start to move and I’m terrified for my life,
I peek out of the crack and see the back of a man’s head,
He claims his life depends on me so he’s helping me drive away the light that blinded my own space,
His hands are not even there and I know that he lied,
But I sit inside the trunk and plead towards the morning sun,
The cab finds it in itself to stop by the riverside,
Ignoring the man up front,
I follow the steps in the sand,
I turn around to say, “I’m walking towards the morning sun to find if my doom is washed away and all I did was completely undid.”
So I leave him in the cab as he cries out for my hand,
But I’ve found what I’ve been searching for and I don’t need his say.

Standing atop this dangerous skyscraper,
I threaten myself by taking another terrifying step towards the edge,
My eyes won't focus on the ground below,
Only the sky above,
As I cry holy tears I see,
A beautiful plain Taxi Cab fall to my feet,
I know where it will take me,
So I hop inside before my feet reach the ledge.

These headlights soon become too dark for me to stay,
So I jump out into the stars,
They fly by as I drop,
My hands are wrapped in black ink,
Representing my creative input onto paper,
The beautifully plain Taxi Cab attempts to save me,
It misses and I'm bursting with pride.

I start to part myself apart,
See which side I like more,
Far, to far to see my eyes in the trees,
Blinded, I wander the greens as I lean onto a tree,
It gives away like a ghost,
Tear away the moss,
It poisons my heart.

I found my soul inside your ghost,
Every hold deeper than the last,
And even though you might've lost yourself,
I can feel your heart still beating.

the sun will fall and we'll fear what we don't believe.
A call to arms to live in constant forlorn words.
Despite the tide closing in,
you don't see the ocean apart from the sky,
Say goodbye.

I fall to you,
Rain comes to me,
My body’s laying on the cold hard floor,
And I know deep inside that I’ve lost my plight,
I know you’re waiting for me, Lord,
But I don’t wanna do this anymore.

Fighting battles against who I should believe and who I wanna be,
I’m at war with my core,
I hope you understand that I’m lost as ever,
Now pour onto me to keep me pleading.

Selfish crimes are taking my vision,
I feel your breath in the air I breath but you’re gone from my dream and I’m struggling to believe,
I do believe that you understand what I mean,
Now leave me here to die nine times before I pick myself up and cry again.

I'm struggling to understand, Lord,
As I stand in front of you,
Chest wide open for you to see,
Won't you wash me, free?
I can't feel you here by my side,
And I'm just a son who's scared,
could you give me some closure tonight?

I've denied myself to you,
I've denied my soul for you,
I've denied and I'm a sinner.

I've fallen in a pit so deep,
that I fear you cannot reach,
Cause I don't believe in you,
But I fall into your arms every night,
Hoping you're there to save me,
But I don't feel your breath on my skin.

I've denied myself to you,
I've denied my soul for you,
I've denied and I'm a sinner.

I'm a bad son, Father,
I've done bad things to you,
I'm not feeling the love you promised,
And it's scaring me to death,
I'm folding into a breathless form,
Drown me, Lord, in all my sins I bathe.

I've denied myself of you,
I've denied my soul for your love,
I've denied and I'm too proud for you.

The trees wave their arms as I desperately plead,
For something so much bigger than me,
I know it'll never come but I always try my best.

I'm numbed out from all those happy pills,
That're inside my system,
I can't feel anything other than my breath.

The sun shines through my window,
I see what I was meant to see and leave,
I know I was never the best person but I still try.

I'm numbed out from all those happy pills,
They flow through my systems,
I want to feel something other than this.

The rain falls from the burnt out sky,
Reminders that I'll never make it out alive,
I know my life is on the line.

I'm so numbed out,
The happy pills through my system,
I need to feel your breath.

When my head is empty and there’s nowhere I can hide.
Look at what I’ve done to you.
I’m sorry about my mistakes,
Just know that I have exposed myself.

Tell me pretty lies about how you feel,
Maybe I’ll feel better another day

Tell me pretty lies about what you think,
Maybe I’ll stop puking another day

I know I’ve done something bad,
I know our lives are on the line,
And it’s all my fault but she won’t see the forest for the trees.

Tell me pretty lies and punch me in the face,
I’ll say I love you and wake another day.

Tell me pretty lies and feed me common slurs,
I’ll just leave my heart at the door for another time.

I can see the stars,
Flying overhead,
There must be something that I can say,
To get myself to come to life and fall into the sky,
But the cement at my feet has held me there,together,
There’s nothing I can do,
But watch the stars become rockets as they fly overhead,
They like to breach my personality,
Cause I know I’m not right,
I already fight with myself every day of my week.

Could I make it?
Could I be a shapeshifter?
Could I fake it?
Could I be a shoplifter?
I don’t think so.

My deadened and black dreams like to come back to life and taunt me in my nightmares,
The sea seems so far as the I’m plagued with my fears,
Don’t doubt for a moment that I won’t make it there,
My life is just as empty as the next guy ahead,
Who’s made to the sea,
But he falls off the cliff,
I know my fate at last,
As I fall into the salty rocks below.

Could I make it?
Could I be a shapeshifter?
Could I fake it?
Could I be a shoplifter?
I don’t think so.

Could I make it?
Could I be a demon?
Could I fake it?
Could I be a sermon?
I don’t think so.
I know that so.
I don’t think so.
I know that so.

I thought I’d be okay,
I thought it was gone,
The feeling in the pit of my stomach raged on,
I want to puke my guts out because of you,
But not because I hate you,
But because I love you.

Is this lovesickness? I can’t have you, that’s okay.
But maybe you hate me and that’s what’s getting to my head.
I want you to know that I only want the best for you,
I’m just losing my mind down the toilet.

Spending hours on end thinking about your response,
I know I’m selfish and pathetic as hell,
The truth is killing my bones,
But I don’t expect anything back because I’m perfectly content as it is, as we are.

Is this lovesickness? I can’t have you, that’s okay.
But maybe you hate me and that’s what’s getting to my head.
I want you to know that I only want the best for you,
I’m just losing my mind down the toilet.

And all the kids cried out,
**** us now.
Put the gun to our heads,
**** this game they play.
I’m not meant to be alive.

Take that thought and splatter it across the canvass, shoot the paper with your make believe gun. Ink the paper with your suicide heaven, you’ve got something worth living for and it’s sitting inside your room. It’s you.

And all the kids called out,
Somebody save me,
I’m so worthless,
I need answers,
**** this God above,
I’m not meant to be alive.

Tell your demons that the music in your ears will overpower their beliefs, now dance to the sound of your beating heart, celebrate that sound. Don’t ever let it go.

And all the kids cried out,
**** us now.
Put the gun to our heads,
**** this game they play.
I’m not meant to be alive