We are diseased,
Infected with a virus no one can cure,
Breathing smoke and parasites,
We are diseased.

There's the smile on your face,
It keeps me here on this earth,
Don't underestimate your life,
When it keeps me alive.

I think I know where I'd be,
Without you in my life,
I think I know who I'd be,
Without you keeping me here.

You ask yourself all these questions,
About the skin you're in,
friend, look at me,
don't you dare,
Take your life away from me.

I think I know where I'd be,
Without you in my life,
I think I know who I'd be,
Without you keeping me here.

Good men don't fall so hard, so fast,
But I can't resist so guess I'm a fool,
I've done bad things to myself,
I don't think you'd care to deal with me,
My bones are weak and afraid,
Cause I know if I say a word.

You'll turn away,
Find another place,
To build your home,
I'll be alone.

Look what I've done to my voice,
It's broken beyond repair,
The only thing that speaks now,
Is my heart,
So please,
Understand what I mean,
When I say.

You'll turn away,
Find another place,
To build your home,
I'll be alone.

Hear what I've done to the angel on my shoulder,
His wings are broken and tattered,
The only thing I hear,
Is the demon speaking clearly,
I know instantly that I've lost my heart,
To you.

You'll turn away,
Find another place,
To build your home,
And I'll be alone.

The skyscrapers taunt me,
while I desperately plead,

Hoping there's something waiting for me,
At the end of the world, now see,

In my palm is a handful of sand,
I gotta make use to blow out the fuse.

The gun's on the top of the canopies,
I'm gonna have to find the right tree,

To plant myself under and see until dawn,
So that I can sing for the right leaves,

Then I'll get on my knees until night,
when the sky opens up and I do believe.

I can’t believe all my intentions,
Have been exposed by my head,
The realization of how I really feel,
Now I feel my feet slipping,
The carpet is being pulled out from under.

I need your hand again,
I need your breath again,
I need you to calm me down.

Falling out into the raindrops,
They fall from your eyes above,
My hands are bloodied from trying to repair myself,
Then I know I've crashed and burned.

I need your hand again,
I need your breath again,
I need you to calm me down.

The wreckage holds my heart,
That was rained on by you,
I'm holding back what my heart wants to say,
But I know the answer so I lay down.

I need your hand again,
I need your breath again,
I need you to calm me down.

I've laid down in a bed of thorns,
It's piercing my neck and veins,
I'm bleeding out onto you,
I hope you don't see me like this.

I need your hand again,
I need your breath again,
I need you to calm me down.

I know the answer,
The way you speak to me,
I know your thoughts,
Because you've spoken from the inside, out,
And It's tearing me apart.

I need your hand again,
I need your breath again,
I need you to calm me down.

I wish I could tell you,
That I’ve been tripping on my own feet,
I’ve been falling into a hole,
Of my own making.

The emotions that've drowned me,
Makes me want to tell you,
But I can’t cause you’re too far,
You’re just so far from where I wish you’d be.

I wish I could scream,
Your name and stop playing this game,
I’m tired of falling over your soul,
So won’t you understand,
What I mean?

There's water in my palm,
It's reassuring and keeps me warm,
Even so,
I find myself falling,
Falling into a hole,
I had promised myself long ago,
not to get myself trapped into.

The water tempts me forward to see the rest of the sea,
But I can't take my eyes off of the water in my palm,
Why won't it hurt me?
I'm just as greedy as the rest,
I need the water in my hand,
To feel whole again,
The water has my back and I have it's.

Then again the sand, pulls it back again,
So maybe I can see the ocean from the water,
But my eyes are drawn back,
To the water in my palm and I sigh,
Giving up on regretting the feeling,
It's only hurting the water in my palm.

There's water in my palm,
It's keeping me safe and sound,
Even so,
I find myself falling into it's puddle,
Falling into a hole,
I had promised myself long ago,
not to get myself trapped into.

I hope it is sufficient that the reason for my purpose is unknown,
I will try my own **** hardest to prevent my legs from sinking,
The forest surrounding me keeps caving into reckless abandon,
I will finally surrender so I'm back on the ground,
Rocking back and forth to try and plead,  "mercy me!"
Cause simply living feels like a force to reckoned with,
and I just want to get some sleep so that I can face the day,

Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you?
Won't you?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?

Despite the ***** crimes closing in on me,
I absolutely cannot see the forest for the trees,
I understand what I need to be another lamb,
but I've been asking for help since the day I thought, "Why?"
I searched and found my soul inside the merciless trees,
Noticed that every hole that I found was deeper than the last,
Despite the fact that I know I've lost myself,
The sun will rise and I'll fear what I don't believe again.

Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you?
Won't you?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?

I've been dragging myself around by the hair of my nape,
Searching for my dreams or the goal that I can reach,
Brought back from death for I was fearing life itself,
and for the timeless time that I was there,
I am back again to properly surrender my underestimated power,
Instead I'm slipping down the drain.

Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?
Won't you?
Won't you?
Won't you let me sleep tonight?

I need everyone to know,
That I cannot survive this,
Life.
The way I bid my life,
On your beating pulse,
Tears me up inside.
Then some passenger gets inside my car,
But I can't see the face they made,
So I crack open the window,
Letting my soul get swept away.

Scream,
I need,
Somebody to save me.
But the car drives away,
The passenger stole my car.
I'm left in the rain,
My soul trapped in the wind.
I sink to the ground,
My frame continues to fight,
But my mind has given up.

But the shock from the flock,
Flies into my windshield,
So I'm stuck inside my hands,
My pen is melting away.
I'm so afraid.
Of what you really meant to say.

Scream,
I need,
Somebody to save me.
But the car drives away,
The passenger stole my car.
I'm left in the rain,
My soul trapped in the wind.
I sink to the ground,
My frame continues to fight,
But my mind has given up.

I fight for my life,
Every night.
I'll never tell my friends,
Of what I did last night.
The creatures on my crumbling frame,
Tell me that I made it again.

But I don't know whether,
to smile or cry.
Cause the battle rages on,
Every night.
I'm parting my skin,
To see what I can find.
Maybe I will see,
An ounce of light.

I fight for my life,
Every night.
The echos of my friends,
Who've told me they were there for me.
I'm losing my vision,
As of today.
The sun rose but my heart,
Doesn't want to beat.

My intention,
has been shackled.
And the demons,
They like to scream.
That I am better off dead,
Every night.
So I take my time,
Send a prayer to someone I don't believe in.
So I take my time,
Process my suicidal thoughts.
So I take my time,
To fall asleep.

There's this problem with my head,
Doctor, where's the medicine?
What's the cure?
Doctor, I need your honest word,
Am I going to die?
What's the cure?
Doctor, my head won't shut up,
It's telling me awful things,
Where's the cure?
Doctor, won't you fix the problem in my heart?
It doesn't feel like you care about me,
What's the cure?
Doctor, you're lying about my disease,
I'm dying aren't I,
What's the cure?
Doctor, help me,
Doctor, save me,
Doctor, where did you go?

The question I have for tonight,
Is a simple one at that,
It's aimed for my head,
And the thoughts locked inside,
I picked the words carefully,
Like threading through a needle,
They are quiet,
Barely heard,
"Will I be alive tomorrow?"

Cause I battle every night,
Knowing that I just might not,
Make it through the inspection,
I do on my brain,
It repeats until I don't have a conscious left,
I can't breath.
Help me.

The battle between one side and another,
The demons and the angels,
Every night it gets darker,
Until my hand isn't being controlled by me,
It reaches for things I never want to see,
It skins things that I had hoped to save.
It repeats until I don't have a conscious left,
I can't breath,
Help me.

One more time,
I inspect my brain,
Write the words over and over,
Think of something better to say,
But there's nothing so I put it simply,
"Will I be alive tomorrow?"

Failing into viscous lies,
I'm learning all your tricks,
All the secrets that you hide.

I'm not taking you for granted,
I know that you like to lie,
That you know everything.

You're the angel to my demons,
The believer in my dreams,
The deceiver that hides beneath my sheets,
Fake your way out.

I won't take anymore excuses,
I've seen what you have done,
The destruction you have caused.

I'm not taking you for granted,
I know that you like to lie,
That you know who I am.

You're the angel to my demons,
The believer in my dreams,
The deceiver that hides beneath my sheets,
Fake your way out.

You don't believe me,
When I say,
That I am dangerous to myself,
I call out for you,
But you've turned away.

At a time like this,
My conscious is,
A desert,
No emotions left,
I'm on my way,
To the edge of the sea.

Maybe I can prosper,
Set me free,
You will find out,
Where my heart lies,
Before I curl up and die.

There's no excuse,
For my behavior,
But I know,
There's nothing like pain,
Especially when it grows,
Into my head.

Lay me down to rest,
My fears begin to rise,
As my toes begin to numb,
To the reign,
Of a tormented king.

Finding bodies,
As I walk my cobblestone bridge,
I can't see my own hand,
In front of me,
A fog so thick it chokes,
My dreams.

I hear my world run cold,
as everything falls out of reach,
Then I breath my last retort,
My fate now closer than yesterday

Every time I throw the spear,
It harpoons into a brick wall,
Where I can't punch to continue though,
So I cradle my gun,
Hoping it saves me.

The wraith around my neck,
Tugs at the veins,
I'll crack open my face,
To see things the way they want me to,
But I can't and I'm forced back into the water,
Ashamed of who I am.

Every time I toss the rock,
It lodges into the brick wall,
Where I can't peek through to the other side,
So I cradle my scars,
Hoping I make it another day.

I want to make,
Make the music I wanted to,
From the very time they told me,
"You'll never make it."
I lost it all.
Breathing hopelessness

Hold.
Hold me tight.
This isn't about love.
It's about surviving.
I hope you know.
That I won't survive.
Anything I do.
All that I say.
Will be wasted.
With the knives on my skin.
Hold.
Hold me tight.
Before I say goodbye.
So I might hate you.
At least you held me.
In my final hour.
Hold.
Hold me tight.
So I can deny.
The last night.
You gave me back.
The strength I thought I lost.
Friend.

Here's to my home,
my family,
my serenade,
my life,
my death,
my flushed away knives.
Here's to my brain,
It's oddities,
It's familiarity,
It's insecurities,
It's life,
It's death,
my deadly undertones.

I'm fighting,
Fighting for something,
Underneath a black moon,
Uneventful and lost.
I scream.
For a name, a face to hold myself by.
But my arms resist,
falling to the floor.
Unsuccessful scars,
reminders of what I never wanted to do, to be.
I fight for something,
something I can stand upon,
and say, "I don't care if you don't show yourself to me."
I scream.
Inside my head,
I'm dead, ripping myself apart.
My heart only beats for the dreams that I made.
I scream,
"**** you."
"**** me."
"**** life."

leading me astray,
from the path that I had made,
Sinking further with every breath,
I can feel my death.

I write these words with nowhere to go,
Writing for not just the show,
but the hope to get out alive,
the hope that maybe I can thrive.

reaching,
grasping,
nothing,
purpose?
existence?

falling,
crying­,
cradling,
future?
ability?

sleepless,
tiring,
faltering,
slits­?

now.

end me.
me and my worthless life.
God.
Jesus.
Father.
Mother.
Brother.
Sister.
Friend.
do you exist?
assist me in my nonexistence.
end me.
me and my worthless life.

Eating away,
An urge,
Re-surge my forge,
Enemies ensure,
That I stay inside the tomb I dug.

Fighting away,
An urge,
Faltering words,
Vitally addicted,
To the blades in the wind.

Wiping away,
An urge,
Victims merge,
Inside my head,
And I'm gone.

It's almost 2 and I'm looping my thoughts,
Repeated, Reiterated, Reoccurred, Dilated.
Sunken through air and ethereal steel,
I'm pleading for a meal,
To satiate my hunger,
For my eternal grave.

It's 2:00 and I'm finding no answers,
Within my brain,
Scanned, Manned, Retrospectively planned.
And I can't see myself reaping the weak,
yet I imagine myself holding a gun up to my head.
I'm pleading for His touch,
As an unbeliever, heretic, a deceiver,
Strike me down, God, now.
Send me down to my eternal slumber.

It's 3:00 and I'm back at this again,
Racking my brain,
My fretting, betting, setting off,
bomb-like migraines,
Reheat it again and I can see through the forestry greens,
I'm dead, I was already from the start.
So what's the point of lifting my head and making a sound?
I'm on trial as it stands,
Strike me down, God, now.
Send me down to my eternal grave.

I saw your face the other day,
Fighting the darkness,
Capturing more light.
I talked to you, listened to you breakdown,
Myself in shock, I've never seen you falling down,
So, I'll hold you tight tonight.

Suddenly the night fades away,
You're no longer in my grasp,
You've faded away into the misty air,
My light, my only friend.
Gone.

Scouring my only mind,
For your voice, for your hands.
But I cannot reach the other side,
As I cannot see your flickering torch.
No more.

Suddenly the night fades away,
You're no longer in my grasp,
You've faded away into the misty air,
My light, my only friend.
Gone.

So I hold you in my memory,
Taking it back and rewinding all the sounds,
That you made when you weren't done.
I take that and place it in a friend,
Who I wanna save once again.

Suddenly the night fades away,
You're no longer in my grasp,
You've faded away into the misty air,
My light, my only friend.
Gone.

Brimming with fear,
The future is near,
Only so little time,
Until I just might meet my demise.

I sold my clone,
To make myself a humble abode,
In the cobwebs and lies.
Sing me to sleep,
So maybe I can forget tomorrow.

The fact that time went by so fast,
Gives me the chills,
Cause I don't know if I'll be keeping this up.
Everything seems so slow,
Going with no flow.

Fields of apathy,
In which I'm living in.
A grass of faded red,
My soles walk onto.

Everything feels so fake,
My eyes get bored of this.
Reaching for the counterfeit,
Sitting across the table from me.

Threatening my seclusion,
he doesn't move his mouth.
His eyes are painted red,
A symbol of my reimagination.

It rushes onto,
Onto the carved door.
On the floor.
In front of the animals,
That ravaged my,
own wrists.

**** it,
Rock it back and forth,
Maybe I'll get out of this earth.
**** it,
Rock myself back and forth,
on the floor again.

I can't see myself in the mirror,
I'm drowning in conclusions.
I have made, for myself,
An unconscious lie.

I'm on my knees once again,
Not to disrupt you,
Not you insult you,
But to honestly plead,
Could you please save me?

Strip me of my pride,
My disbelief.
Help me carry on through blades,
Far away from self-deprecation.
I implore,
I need your breath to keep me going furthermore.

I'm bleeding from the scars now,
Hiding from the sun,
Turning towards the moon,
the east,
the west.

I don't know anymore,
But I need your hands in begging harmony,
next to mine.
Don't leave me alone,
I crave your touch,
As I grow weak and unanswered.

I sit up,
to disrupt,
my constant state of mind,
Beseech your bleeding wings,
Save me.

Heed life's call,
It calls for your beating heart,
That's all,
**** your mind,
**** your guns.

You use your guns to blow out,
Creativity and imagination,
Dare to dream,
and dare to scream.

It belongs inside the furnace,
Now burn it,
The black revolver,
It sits by your bedside.

Terrifying as it may be,
There's a pretender to replace your gun,
Beneath sheets you plead,
Your life on the line,
because your mind won't be silenced.

You use your guns to blow out,
Creativity and imagination,
Dare to dream,
and dare to scream.

A misty lake,
The cold air,
And my cold feet,
Gentle eyes defeat all the demons,
That shadow my lids.

They walk through the lake,
I can't see nor reach them,
But I can feel their breath on my skin,
Ripping and tearing.

I can see the other side,
The green trees,
peacefully standing,
Almost tauntingly.

I can feel my knees hit the dock,
The rusty nails digging into my flesh,
As the tide washes over my burdened back,
I slip away into the waves.

A still heart,
Polluted with suicide,
Darkened from all the infected scars,
I'll be ****** if I say anything.

Perhaps it'll help if I close my mouth,
Don't speak my mind,
Otherwise it'll burn my lungs,
They don't like it when I speak.

The misty lake,
Tugs at my rusted knees,
But the pain from the nails,
Hold me there.

Suddenly,
In a momentary flash,
I reach for the sink as it slips away,
I'm on the floor,
Sinking into the molding tiles.

My arms become weak,
trying to hold onto the rope that loops the noose,
I curse and scream,
as my legs give away,
the failing motion of a singular boy.

Disapproving eyes that remember me from yesterday,
they like to yell and tell how useless I am,
how selfish I am,
spinning into nothingness,
A knife in hand.

I hate me, myself, and I,
It's enough to reopen the scars that remain on top of my arm,
they sting but I know I deserve it,
common sense fades away,
I'm left with my pillar of suicidal thoughts.

In front of their door,
they turn their back,
I'm on my own,
Once again.

Maybe,
I'm just meant to be,
killed off and torn away from paradise,
wash me,
drown me,
maybe I'll be saved tonight,
my hands in control of my mind,
new blood without a tear shed from my thoughts.

Who I am,
Is who I never want to be,
and what I want to be,
will be a mask,
a disguise for tough days,
with no God,
I'm alone.