Boxes are piling up around me
Memories packed away from happier times
A part if me finding this purge therapeutic
A part of me finding it painful

It's raining right now
A tepid song against the window
Reminding me that first you must rain
First you must drown
To understand the love of air
Or the sun

And this rain
Will cause me to root
Will cause me to grow
Will cause me to bloom

I was waiting for the other foot to drop


It stomped.

The funny thing about most toxins
Is that you can have them in small amounts without any consequence
It's only when
You sit in it long enough,
Injest it so many times--
That you get sick

I wrote this instead of sleeping
Because everytime I close my eyes I think of you
And I'm still unsure if it counts as a nightmare
If you wake up more longing than scared

I lowered my guard when you held me and swore that you'd stay
You'd stay
You'd stay
In your arms I heard someone laugh
And I think it was myself

       ---Ask anyone what the greatest love story is, and they'll give you a tragedy

It's rejection

And loss

The slow realization that everyone who meets me expects me to change


I find myself alone

Guarded

Knowing that every time I open up to someone

They eventually leave


And in losing everyone else

I'm slowly losing myself



--and my mind

And for years I dreamed of recognition
Of acceptance from my peers
But you showed me that I shouldnt worry about all the stars in the night sky
When I had the love of the full moon