SheOfNeverland

SheOfNeverland Mar 2014

There is a door
   A secret door
      A lovely, painted, magic door
         Etched with a promise to take me to
            A world in which
               I'd want to live.
There is a place
   A hidden place
      A beautiful and enchanted place
         Home to people with the purest of souls
            People with which
               I'd love to live.
There is a home
   A perfect home
      A gorgeous, ageless, tiny home
         Adorned with rooms for those I love
            Rooms in which
               I dream I'll live.
There is a face
   A ravishing face
      A splendid, classy, radiant face
         The face I hope to one day wear
            When I go through the door
               To that place, my home.

SheOfNeverland Mar 2014

Sacrifice

I told you not to **** yourself
What a hypocrite I am
With the blade behind my back
I wait 'til yours is turned
To open up my veins.

Blood flows like the tears I shed
While I told you nothing is ever bad enough
To warrant a knife
Or a bottle of pills
What a fool I must seem.

The look on your face stings worse than the blade
At least the latter was a clean cut
The former is as jagged as the rocks below
I stare at them as I mumble more lies
Into your waiting ears.

Betrayal so bitter, so sweet, so sincere
You pat my head as I drift to sleep
God grants me one last dream
And I spend it on you
So we may have a little more time before I go.

You ask me if it's too late to call and I smile at your naiveté
You knew not what you wanted
When you told me you wished for death I embraced what you feared
I sacrificed myself so you may find
Your desire to live through your grief.

I love you...

SheOfNeverland Mar 2014

Where My Heart Ought to Be

There is a hole in my chest where my heart ought to be
There is a shadow in tow that once belonged to me
She's floating away with no hope of return
As the embers of what was my life cease to burn.
There are holes in my face where my eyes ought to be
For when tears ceased to flow they both shriveled, you see
In my pocket I hold what is left of my soul
And my hopes fly away leaving me half of a whole.
There's a hole in my head where my brain ought to be
It was blown through the wall by this bullet, you see
When I realized I'd never retrieve all the parts
Of my shattered and broken and torn apart heart.

SheOfNeverland Mar 2014

I Slept In Your Arms Last Night

I slept in your arms last night
Familiar yet so strange
You smelled of you and something else
Something that made me sad
Something I didn't know.
I slept in your heart last night
Gone for so long from that place
My sanctuary
Your bitter words can't find me there
Restful sleep found me at last.
I slept in your bed last night
It used to be mine too
Stains only we can see
Reminding us of a time we can't forget
We can't let go, can't move on
If we pretend, maybe it will always be this way.
I slept in your house last night
Rooms and doors I used to know
Filled with things that belong to someone else
Your friend, my replacement
I cry when I see no sign of me there
In what was once mine as well.
I slept in your arms last night....
So warm and welcoming
Desperate for me to fill them
Longing for something we will never have again
Something left broken in our every thought
Wishes that things were how they were
Not how they are
Not how they will be from now on.

SheOfNeverland Mar 2014

I Promise

You asked me once to marry you
I said I cannot say "I do"
When asked what may the reasons be
I simply said "I must be free."
Free to do the things I must
Before my heart, with you, I trust
Free to grow up by myself
Before I grow with someone else.
A child still in many eyes
I need to sever all the ties
That cast a shadow over me
So on my own two feet, I'll be.
Not til I can hold my own
Will I agree to make a home
As wife to you, the man I love

So I hope this promise is enough.

I promise one day we will wed

And stay together til we're dead

And in our last, and final breaths

My life complete, I'll face my death.

SheOfNeverland Feb 2014

Beauty

I wish you would call me beautiful
Instead of "******* hot"
When age sets in and looks will fade
Being "****" matters not.
Beauty is something harder earned
On the inside, not the out
I think there's many in this messed up world
That forget what beauty is about.

SheOfNeverland Feb 2014

How Do You Repair A Broken Life

How do you repair a broken life?
I can see the pieces scattered
Helpless as to how to put them back together.

There is no band aid for a wounded soul;
No cast for a broken spirit.

How do you repair a broken life?
When all hope has turned to ash
Blown away in the winter winds.

There is no medicine for a tired mind
No surgery for a twisted heart.

How do you repair a broken life?
I can see the dismal future through the looking glass
A member of the audience of my own life.

There is no remedy for a shriveled body
No conjuration for a missing dream.

How do you repair a broken life?
You must find the thread that began the unraveling
And cut it loose to be forgotten.