i won't leave traces
that i'm changing into different faces
fooling people of my desires
i'm stranded on a wire
with just one wrong step
people will know the depth
of my longing

i'd like to think i'm only indulging
and will not forever be craving
the taste of your lips
the way your hands fall into my hips
as our breaths mingle
as our tongues entangle
making my body all tingly
leaving your scent into me

there will be no traces
of this poisonous fruit my heart chases
because this is just a phase
and i'll sober up one of these days

but for now, let your traces seep deep into my bones
and let the room be filled with both our moans

if i have three lives, i spent two of them with you;
having midnight coffees and afternoon wine,
and sunset kisses then admire how your eyes shine
under the moonlight even when venus retrogrades

if i have three lives, two of which dyed with your hue;
my days lit up by your smile and your quirks,
and how peculiar and bizarre your mind works,
bathing the world with iridiscence that never fades

if i have three lives, i must've loved you in two;
thanked the universe for my twice granted prayers,
as the redwoods witnessed our hairs turn grey together,
and fallen perfectly in love with the life we made

if i have three lives, i missed you in one;
this one life without my constant—
i won't be particularly unhappy,
i would enjoy my morning coffees,
probably have afternoon teas,
and adopt a cat to cuddle and kiss

i would still admire the hyperions,
go on walks and adore the citylights at dawn,
look for your soul in every person i meet,
return home for another drink,
go to bed hoping for a glimpse
of you and relive the lives we shared in my dreams,
and wonder once in a while that maybe
you're out there waiting for me

if i have three lives, know that i wished
for you in between my thoughts,
in every sombre night, i was left distraught
and so i picked up the pen to write this
just in case you ask me how i lived
that one life without you.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒂 𝒔𝒂 𝒌𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒏
𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒈𝒂 𝒌𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒏 𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒐𝒌.
𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒐 𝒔𝒂 𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒈 𝒏𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒅𝒖𝒈𝒐
𝒐 𝒅𝒖𝒈𝒐 𝒔𝒂 𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒐 𝒏𝒈 𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒐.
𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒔𝒐𝒌𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒔𝒂 𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒌
𝒂𝒕 𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒌 𝒔𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒐.
𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒂 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒕
𝒐 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒂 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏.
𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑰𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒐 𝒔𝒂 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒂𝒚𝒐𝒏
𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒈𝒂𝒚𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒌𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒔𝒂 𝑰𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒐.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒈𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒎𝒖𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂
𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒐 𝒔𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒐𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒑𝒖𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒊.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒉𝒂𝒍
𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒐 𝒔𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒊.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂
𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒕 𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒋𝒆 𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒛𝒂.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒖𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒓𝒂
𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒐 𝒔𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒂 𝒂𝒕 𝒑𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒂.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒚𝒐
𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒂𝒔𝒖𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒂.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒐
𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒌 𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒂 𝒂𝒍𝒃𝒂
𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒐 𝒖𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒐𝒔.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒘 𝒔𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒔𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒘.
𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔 𝒔𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒔.
𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒂 𝒌𝒂𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒏.

i want the conversations every morning
with the aroma of coffee surrounding us,
with your eyes gleaming as they met mine,
with your humming melting my ears,
and with your teasing smiles
and your laughing eyes
as i watch you wash the dishes

i just want a comfortable life,
the one in which we stay together for a long while—
i'll chat with you while you cook
and you'll chat with me while i plant daisies.
i may be clumsy
with fixing things around the house,
but you'll be there
so we can laugh about it together.

i don't care about fancy dinners,
out-of-town trips, or weekend getaways
i'm fine with reading books on a lazy afternoon,
or watching movies, chilling at night, with our blanket on
while holding our wine glasses,
or waking me up with a kiss on the forehead
greeting me with your gentle smile

i want someone to watch true crime series with
coupled with cuddles on rainy days,
or animated films on the happy days,
or docuseries with a pint of ice cream at hand
on my moody days,
or variety shows on ordinary days,
just letting everyday pass in this mundane world

i don't need to be seen in rose-tinted glasses,
a pair of crystal-clear lenses is fine with me,
the ones where you can tell me everything
and know that i'll accept you no matter what
and guide you to what's right,
the ones where i can tell you everything
and know that you'll console me,
then scold me, then advise me afterward.

i don't need gifts or surprises,
i don't even need to celebrate anniversaries,
i just want to spend a lot,
a whole lot of them with you,
so stay with me for a long time
and it'll be more than enough
for this heart of mine.

the fates are so unfair
catching me unaware
that i have sauntered vaguely downwards
but keep putting me in despair
because i will never be the one
the one you'll honour as your partner
the one you'll stand with at the altar
the one you'll take your vows with
the hand you'll hold on the street
the body you'll hug in your sleep
and the lips that you'll kiss deeply and sweetly

it'll never be me
we can never be
i will just keep longing
forever hoping
that in our next lifetimes
you'll finally be mine
finally, it'll be us always all our days
that despite the circumstances
you'll choose me anyways

i don't have the courage
to spill my feelings
or even fight for you

but i also don't have the guts
to finally, cowardly,
and undoubtedly give you up

tethering hopelessly,
i am contented to never be,
contented within an arm's length
for i am yours to hold
but you're not mine to own.