it's hard to be a woman—
either you're too ******
     or you're too fake,
either you're unattractive
     or you're a *****
     attracting starving men left and right,
either you're trying so hard to be smart
     or you're too dumb to still want
     to be a puppet
     always in the men's beck and call.

you can't talk too much,
you shouldn't have opinions
     against the misogynists
     against the bigots,
'cause you're supposed to laugh
at other women's misfortunes
—that way—
you'll shine brighter.

you're supposed to celebrate
the misfortunes of the underprivileged,
—that way—
it's easier to climb higher
     and have your place behind
     the patriarch,
the dictator.

even if people are feeding you the truth,
you must not swallow it
'cause it harms a man's ego
it's better to be deaf
from the pleas of other women,
from the pleas of the children
     who don't have enough food,
from the deafening silence
     of the oppressed media,
from the romanticization
     of poverty and resilience and heroism,
disguising the disgusting world
of patriarchy and capitalism.

my ******* salutes you who is a woman
yet blurts out that it's the woman's fault
     that she's *****,
     that she's sexually harassed,
     that she was treated as an object,
     that she opened her mouth,
only to be silenced with a bullet on her skull;
'cause you should just go **** yourself if ever—
your internalized misogyny
is polluting the already decaying society
     with the way you think,
     the way you act,
     the way you "encourage" people,
and just the way you live

to have a woman like you
is such a waste of effort
of the millennium
women like you spent fighting for their rights,

just go slave yourself away;
i hope you realize
you're a shame
     of hundreds of years,
     of courage,
     of voice,
     of persuasion,
of a woman.

so better ask yourself:
are you proud of the woman
that you are?
can other women be proud
of the woman you turned out to be?

i want to love myself
but i don't know how
drifting in and out
     between the reality and my delusions
trying to search for that vigor
that will to be alive—
to be excited of the sunrise
and feel calm
     soaking under the afternoon sun
and love the changing hues
     of the skies at dusk
and wish the moon a good night
     never fearing the dreams to come
then adore the peeking light at dawn
     reflecting the days waiting to be lived

but then it's gone
all that's left was a monotonous black
accompanied by a crippling silence
followed by the surge of doubts
     storming down my confidence
     its lightning striking
as i look into the mirror
     staring at my silhouette
     with its pieces shattering one by one
just as how, piece by piece
     i slipped into the pit
freefalling
and finally losing
     the will i tried so hard to keep
leaving me with nothing
but a void

for a while there,
i thought you could see---
the shackles on my feet,
the tape on my mouth,
the cloth on my eyes
the truth behind the lies;
the noose on my neck,
the cotton on my ears,
the ropes on my wrists,
the hand pulling the strings.

for a while there,
i almost believed,
but you're just another
false prophet
turning me into a puppet;
using me for your agenda
trapping me into an illusion---
illusion of euphoria.

for a while there,
i thought you could understand:
the truth behind my
coarse hands,
dry throat,
tired eyes,
bulging veins,
hunched back,
parched skin,
pale lips,
and bruised heart,
and shattered pride,
and broken dreams,
and endless tears.

for a while there,
i hoped:
you could listen
as i speak;
you could speak
as i lose my voice;
you could fight
as i lose my courage;
you could upend
the triangle,
as i was stuck scraping
the bottom of the barrel.

sigh---
for a while
there, i saw the sinister
eyes of the bourgeoisie
failing to mask
your avarice,
failing to hide
your dark desires.

for a while
there, i saw the truth
behind your lies:
how you're on the other side
with all the false sympathizers,
mingling with the puppet masters,
holding millions of lives,
toying us in your palms,
treating us as pawns,
as if you are gods
deciding the fate
of us pitiful humans.

for a while
there, i saw it;
the light diminishing,
the shadows expanding,
the hope extinguishing.

for a while
there, i felt it;
the air suffocating,
my body shivering,
the blood flowing
on the ground.

in just a short while,
it ended;
just as how fast
a bullet reaches the head.

Under the haze of reality
"You're lazy"
Echoes in your ears
When everyday
You're worse for wear
Toiling the lands
With your coarse hands,
The callouses so thick
Still you remain meek
Against the landlords
With their noose
Around your neck
Tightening
Gripping
Clenching
Until you can't breathe
Gasping for air


The blood, the sweat
The tears as your eyes wet
They can't see
The struggle
How you juggle
Taking care of the lands
And of the family you left home


When will it be your turn
To be taken care of
By the mother you love so
By the brothers in the capital
Saying we're all equals
As they fool people
With their jargon
With their orders and sections
Rules and regulations
Disguising their intentions
Schemes so evil
People end in peril


When will they give you
Time to rest
Time to voice your distress
Time to stand up for your rights
And finally see the light
Of day
The day you become equal
Not only in mere words
Or campaign spiels
Or posters and flyers
Decaying as they hold power
For years and years
As if you're just a stone
They've stepped on

Dear child, it's time
Time to say enough
Time to call out their bluff
Time to not be afraid
Time to stand up and fight
Dear child, fight for your rights.

Busalan mo pa!
Nang manahimik
   ang mga sumisigaw--
Pilit inaalingawngaw
  ang nag-uumapaw
  nilang mga hinanakit

Matagal nang umalis ang Diyos
    dahil sa mga panatikong
Sinasamba ang kanilang Poong
  iniidolo rin ang isa pang
  anak ni Satanas
Kasama ang kanyang
   mga apostol
Hudas sa taumbayan

Busalan mo pa---
Ang iyak ng sanggol,
   nanghihingi ng pagkain
Ang ungol ng babaeng
   pinuputa sa tabi-tabi
Ang hikbi ng magsasakang
   mamamatay na lang
   hindi pa sa sarili
   niyang lupa
Ang tangis ng manggagawang
   tinapon matapos
Malaos
Na parang
Makina lang sa pabrika


Sige patahimikin mo!
Tutal katutahan
At kaputahan
At kaputanginahan
   ang doktrinang
   isinisiwalat mo
Na parang hindi mulat
   at wala sa ulirat
   ang mga panatikong
Sumusunod
Sa bawat buklat
  ng bibliya

Lalong pumupula
ang paligid;
Kitakita na lang sa bilibid
   kung umabot pa
   ang bangkay
   ng nag-ingay

Sige langoy!
Hindi man sa dagat ng basura;
Pero sa dagat
   ng dugong dumanak
   ng mga pinaslang
   ng bibliyang
   ginamit mo
   para umaalipusta
Sa nanghihingi ng kalinga;

Sisid sa kailaliman
  nang malaman mo
Ang kadiliman
  ng kaibuturan
  ng bituka
**** halang

Sige gamitin mo
   ang bibliya--
Ipangalandakang sugo ka!
Panginoong namimigay
   ng lupa
Panginoong may-lupa
   namimigay
Hindi sa hindi makatayo
   hindi makaupo
   maghapong nakayuko
Kundi sa pulang watawat
   na may limang dilaw na bituin
   marikit na kumikinang
Habang unti unti nitong
   nilalamon ang bawat isla
   bawat industriya
Idagdag sa kanilang makina
   na may nabubulok na sistema
Hanggang sa wala nang matira;
Hanggang sa ang perlas
Ng silanganan
Ay tuluyan nang
Malaspag
Na parang isang puta