It was 1 a.m.
I was at a bar,
you were probably
at your house,
drunk,
having people come over.
I texted you
and the first thing you
said to me was "come over"
but you and I
both know that wasn't
going to happen anymore.
I had to tell you I didn't
hate you.
Because the last time
I talked to you the words
poured out of my
mouth like lava
and I was sure you
would never talk to
me again.
But sure enough,
without even hesitating
the second my name popped
up on your screen
you told me to come see you.
And that's what drove
me crazy.
Despite everything
you still always wanted
to see me.
And that's what made me wonder,
despite us being so against
being together,
we can never leave each other
alone.
I could only think
you wanted me
as much as i want you,
but we both know
we will never
admit it.
Maybe two people
are meant to meet,
but can never be together.

Before you go on to break my heart you should know:
These walls are made of brick and they will not
fall, no matter how awful the trauma is.
This heart has been shattered plenty of times,
but it has been put back together every single time,
by no one other than myself.
I have fought many different wars for many years.
Let me tell you that if you even think you are capable
of tearing down my castle,
you can't.
I have built this house so strong
that even the strongest storm
will not tear it down.
This house was built from
storms and it will never
be destroyed by one.

I hope the next girl your with
has light eyes
so you have the chance
to miss the way I would
gaze at you
with my eyes
dark as night.
And I hope her hair
is blonde
so you miss the
dark black waves
that ran over your
chest when I
laid next to you.
You always told me
I was a mystery,
and I was always dark.
Maybe you couldn't take it.
Maybe you would settle
for day instead of night.
But always remember,
the stars can't shine
through the night
without darkness.

You wrapped your arms
around me in the middle of the
night, I almost forgot what it
was like to be cared for,
until you reminded me.
And when I came over
and took care of you
while you were drunk
I was in fear,
because growing up
and even in past relationships
I only saw violence in
intoxicated men.
But when you looked at me,
while I was only wearing
an old T-Shirt and shorts,
and called me beautiful
I knew I shouldn't be afraid.
You started showing me what it's
like to be cared for,
instead of abused
and used.
And I know I may be scared sometimes,
almost like some sort of
bad PTSD,
but please just stay with me.

They'll let you
destroy yourself
for them,
and when you decide you
have had enough pain,
and leave,
they'll act like you
were the one who
ruined it.