They always asked,
"how do you stay so
calm through all this mess?"
and i close my eyes and shake
my head because there's storms
raging in my veins,
but i keep my calm
and bleed it out in poetry.

I drapped his shirt over my bare skin
hoping it felt like home,
just like yours did when i put it on.
But it didn't quite hug my skin
the right way
and the smell didn't take me to
the sky like yours did.
And every time i left
his place all i could think about
was you and where you were.
I wondered if you were with her
and i knew that was selfish considering
i was leaving another's house.
I knew he didn't care about me
half as much as you cared
about those you loved.
And i knew you probably cared about
her.
And he didn't tell me to text
him when i got home safe,
like you would.
And i counted the cigarette burns
on his skin and wondered
if the burns you left on my soul
showed through my eyes
my laugh
and my voice
cause god only knows
you nearly burned
every part of me.

When i heard you were with another girl
i nearly fell to my knees in disbelief because
i knew you no longer thought about me.
People said "why are you upset? You've seen
others too."
But what they didn't know was love dripped
from your lips and could hold anyone or anything
captive.
I saw others, but it was nothing compared to when
i first met you.
And i know you probably made her feel the same way.
You told me we were each others missing puzzle
pieces and god we did fit together perfectly.
You took her for coffee and that made me wonder
if you had already forgotten how i take mine
in exchange for hers.