i have turned
to collect myself
to inspect myself
to inject myself
with an unknown matter
a random chatter
an endless ladder
i have skin
of an ancient breed
a visitors need
an implanted seed
a timeless fear
a broken gear
that leads me here
wondering what it is
i am missing

we got drones in Jersey
drones in LA
are they from the future
are they here to stay

are they comin' from the sea
or comin' from the sky
were they made in deep space
or is it just a lie

re-engineering
that is all the rage
shake us up
shake us down
keep us in a cage

they're playin' us like fiddles
where can truth be found?
multi-million dollar jets
but they can't shoot one down!

what a huge calamity
what a sorry joke
this mega scam will soon unfold
like pepsi vs coke

don't buy it!

In the back of Brewsters
where I always sit
watching the ladies dance
weaving their way through the gray cigarette smoke
clicking curves as the strobe light dances with them
Gloria serves up the intoxicating mixes
and teases the ***** hopefuls
who know they haven't a 'snowball in hell's' chance
the music thumps as Manny pummels
another joker who had a bit too much
as the hour of closing draws near
she slides by my table and smiles an invitation
I've been noticing her noticing me
as her 3rd partner heads to the head
leaving an opening for a 4th
not one to pass up an opportunity
I move onto the floor and quickly
work up a sweat that blends
with the rising inferno
'Smooth Operator' ends the chaos
and our bodies are now one
speaking in sighs and moans
of what is now obvious
this dance will not end at the end of this song
Gloria winks again as I grab my jacket
from the back of the chair
the smoke parts as we make our escape

Words float to the surface
from sunken ships
they form like babies
on baby's lips
they flutter like wings
of a butterfly chip
that will beat a thousand years
i walk this madness into the Sun
i burn the sadness
now it is done
i hope to find you
while on the run
lover who sheds no tears
strands collected
time to start
pump the blood that plays the part
of what was once a raging heart
now craves for what was lost

Replicant rises to face the day
memories surface
then drift away
perhaps returning
next time he lay
beneath the constant Moon

Beyond the box his victims applaud
the enemy smiles and takes his bow
behind his smirk there breathes a fraud
the devil dressed in praise of thou
he snares their hearts should they be weak
those seeking to control their fate
a purchased path to lead the meek
to a matrix God through the neon gate
with hands outstretched he pleads and grins
sells salvation like drugs and mocks their sins
will promise eternity in the holy light
call the number on your screen
you are saved tonight

I had a dream
but this wasn't the typical
awake and forget dream
I remember everything
and as people in the dream were reacting
I knew exactly why
I knew their motives
their plan
It involved a military style evacuation
of a large office building
appeared to be the Middle East
I entered the building and walked through a long corridor
I came to a family of 5 or 6 that were standing at a side exit
afraid to leave. They finally exited and I saw what they feared...
a man who appeared to be American with a rifle about 20 yards ahead on a hill looking at them. He let them leave. I lied to him as I thought he might **** me since I wasn't quite sure who I was in this dream...who's side I was on
It concerned my Grandfather
he had asked me what day I was born
and the alcohol of choice at my birth
I replied that there was no alcohol due to the fact
that my Grandfather died from alcohol poisoning
In fact, my Grandfather died of pneumonia and refused to
take alcohol to help his condition. Why did I lie? How did the lie help?
Instead of killing me, we became friends and took a walk
we came upon a large home with a number of people
sitting on the porch
Two young teenagers, totally out of place began chatting about
an American cd they had purchased
The boy had buzzed blonde hair and a blue eagle tattooed
on his cheek
The female looked very close to his age and chatted non-stop
about her cd
An older female with long dark hair in a long dark dress pulled a rifle from under her side as she was laying on a bench or possibly the ground and pointed it at my friend
Not sure why they let me leave, but I told him I would return...
end of dream
the entire time I knew I was in a dream and reacted as I would, thought as I would and felt as if I was viewing the entire dream through a pair of VR glasses...or was it a dream?

any ideas?

I see behind fictitious eyes
tears that freeze upon icy skin
a warmth is buried
trying to rise
through cracks in stone
from deep within

I am allowed during hearts eclipse
to venture through her darkest seas
to taste her unprotected lips
in waves of love
they whisper please

I see behind fictitious eyes
a brief glimpse into my lovers light
that carries me through the veiled disguise
until once again
we share the night

moths land on the screen
bathed in the light off the corner beam
they appear to me as men clinging to a prison fence
staring out at possible freedom
only they are staring in
into my asylum
they wonder what it is I do
tapping away for hours
while fixated on this screen
'why does he not free himself
from this prison
and explore the endless beauty that surrounds him'

blackbirds gather just after dawn
in the trees near my asylum
dive bombers
picking off the moths one by one
as they ponder my peculiar passiveness

food for thought

there are nights
when the moon cannot be found
and the stars hide behind unseen clouds
on these nights
I turn to thoughts of you
that arrive on waves of  imagined shores
and saturate like sand the open wounds of memory
the images painful
yet consoling
distant  
yet within reach
here I will drift to sea
live a dream I will not remember

and I shall curse the morning rain
for taking you away

I'm very well versed
in adverse condition
I stay perched on first
and disperse ammunition
I reverse my diverse
impolite imposition
to continue a terse
yet contrite disposition
if she winks
then me thinks
I've conveyed
my position
if she blinks
then I've jinxed
Goddess Venus
and her mission

fragmented truths split the porcelain dolls posing in the next room
forever waiting on the badly impersonated wood shelves
for someone to break them
to save them from this torture
and they begin their well rehearsed lines this night
that will lead to raised voices and vile threats
that will lead to loss of control
loss of dignity
and something will get thrown
a glass, a spoon, a plate of salsa and chips
she will work her way to the bottom of the stairs
and allow herself one final scream before ascending
to her room
she will contemplate the porcelain dolls
as she catches a glimpse of them within arms reach
and they secretly plea for her to do it
but in their simple quiet beauty
they hold the only bit of sanity she can still touch
her only reason to cry

in the sanctity of sanity
is where I now aspire
as years
and my humanity
insist that I conspire
to find a hole
in vanity
and breathe what I inspire
until the words
drip from my veins
and sanctify this fire

I click the wasteland on
again
stumble out of bed
again
I need the comfort of the flickering lights against a dark wall
and the sound it makes
there's not enough despair in here
to be where I must be
a king has died of pain overdose
the story flashes from the screen
bounces off the hallway mirror and into my coffee
I sip without noticing a change
try to write of broken hopes and mended dreams
but the words are futile
weak
I seek the moon for vital signs
but a faceless cloud of shapeless form
holds nothing to inspire
there are faces of thousands
who offer their lives but for a taste of freedom
their screams float silently out of reach
come to rest in a candy dish
do I ponder the ultimate poetic gesture
suffer no more these sleepless nights
perhaps I will sleep on such thoughts

as the last of the thorns are removed from my hand
and the blood congeals like pudding on a stove
and the heart slows to a methodical beat
of one resigned to the approaching day
the sound of still darkness is deafening
stars stare in mock silence
taunting me as they defer to the moon
'her moon' as she called it
how she grieved over the death of its secrets
more so than the coming death of our own
beautiful
secret
which breathed in the magic of the darkness
and found us together
always
in each other's light
as the Sun approached

I drop these roses here
you would always say it was such a waste
'flowers for my love'
but your eyes would not lie

you wear that cape of innocence so well
smiling, blinking, glancing
deception wreaks from you
draw them in
like a spider flashing diamond eyes
upon its back
only to turn and bite
when they are near
but I am not fooled
your web cannot reach here
your eyes turn cold when you look my way
for you know
that I see beyond those eyes
beyond the reach of your victims
you have given of yourself to me
and my soul remains undamaged
bitter loss my sweet
weave your web from my view
for I am unmoved
I add nothing to your insatiable demand
for power

lost in the hum of indifference
is the whimper of fading love
held captive and suppressed in false contentment
is the cry of a beaten soul
shackled by the devouring wind of illusion
this wounded heart beats
yet bleeds
of insignificance

some dark
some bright
some come to light
during the wee hours of night
some crystal clear
some just out of sight
but all are real and all are right
as I slip into the fearless flight
of the mind's eye

Memories of a life are blurred
dreams entrusted
now only dreams
thoughts turn into hollow words
endless seas
now shallow streams

Share with me your life content
so I may know that sacred place
where those whose futile life is spent
not stumbling through an empty space

I once knew a time when golden light shone
where two in love could make a stand
against the world we stood like stone
unfazed, unbeaten
an imagined land

Then time unseen
like a stalking beast
hid in shadows
silent
still
dimmed the golden light of love
pictures scattered
of a life to fill

If you knew the depth of my disbelief
then you would know the reason
I walk in shadows

all the truths that pass as lies
and misconceptions
feeble minds dream you see
in subtle nudgings off the grid

the comfort of the unaware
is a sharp stick in my side
I must tell these truths in bloodied tongue
for even a feigned look
holds some comfort

when the smirks subside
in the holy bliss of truth
I will have long left the great lie
I will have watched from the shadows
with my children and my children's children
as it unfolds like Sunlight upon the shadowed moon

enveloping the enlightened souls
the few that remain

I am awakened by a dream
That slowly comes into view
From gray shadows to crystal clarity
Of both sight and sound
Distant fire crackles
The smell of burning wood stretches
These miles of open wilderness
The rolling water of the river
Behind me
I stand in thanks to the spirits
That have shown me the way
And the bounty I will share
A great storm erupts on the distant horizon
Sweeping across the plains
Relentless
Destructive
Thunder rolls and lightning strikes
The swirling winds gather us up
And take us away
The cries
Echo in my head
Then fade to black

the dots are slowly disconnecting
I can see it coming now
the register jams more often
did I do that
and why...or how?
'yes, you told me that
remember...?
but it's okay
everything is fine'
the signs are now clear
this creeping fear
the foggy mist of my decline

the familiar sound
of the 2 o'clock train
snaps me out of my hazy state
I move to the porch
and view the mountains
listening to nature
I wait

the new Sun is crisp
and it's warmth dries the night
the first cup of coffee
with the first sign of light

I search for the shirt
that I'll wear on this day
and my best fitting jeans
then to Father I'll pray

the walk isn't far
half mile...a bit more
odd smile from Ms Harris
as she opens her door

the wildlife remain calm
as I take up a seat
pulled out a Lucky
and inhaled it deep

the dots reconnect
head bowed
on my knees
2 o'clock comes and goes
like a chirp in the breeze

In the chambers of this weathered mind
Memory seeps and pools
Like flooding streets

Ships of thought
Sail a blinding mist
On seas of no return

Hope is devoured
Like Suns in a black hole
Echoes in a dream
True love in this madness

I have loved you these many years
As I love you now
As we sit quietly
Dancing along the guise of friendship

The stares that linger a second longer
Than a friend’s stare should
the soft laughter
that muffles the cry of a yearning heart

The torture
I fear
Of knowing I’ll never have you
May not equal
The torture
Of never sharing a smile
Daring a whisper
Or chasing a dream

Surprised to find me in your lair
lucifer?
that look is unbecoming
yes
I am well aware of your wickedness
as are the Gods
they only shake their heads in despair
and send me to do their bidding
unlike yourself
I do not crave to bestow suffering
your death shall be brief
come now
did you really believe that your empire
built on the blood and corpses of the innocent
would come without retribution?
Sin
lucifer
is never overlooked
or eclipsed by power
power you will now relinquish for eternity
say goodbye to your precious hell
and hello to a new one
for your soul shall reside in the company of those you took
a rather fitting punishment don't you think?
is that fear I detect in the eyes of the great lucifer?
your presence is awaited with great anticipation
and I shall give them their prize

I stumbled upon a ruby in the darkness
it held the secrets of a sad November day
from all directions
the splinters came
and took the defyer
the one who tried to save us
from the powers that would be
this ruby spoke of the players,
the slayers
the hiding naysayers
the complex
the complexities
the maggots that live
by war
and more
I tried to tell you
but even I
who lived on the edge
of exposing the lie
could not speak before the splinters arrived
and I sleep with the others
our secret has died

dedicated to the memory of'
Dorothy Kilgallen

he'd always been a sleeper
to that he would admit
never less than 8 a night
and then he'd snooze a bit

his love of sleep found him sleeping more
9, 10, 11
the alarm was useless to him
his dreams were that of heaven

but his health began to suffer
his weight began to slip
napping more, eating less
his mind had lost it's grip

he checked in with his doctor
then a sleep disorder shrink
they gave him meds and special beds
useless
so he began to drink

11 turned to 12
and twelve to 17
he only woke to have a drink
in the wasted time between

tuesdays were quickly fridays
just blurs when he awoke
catch his ghostly figure
in the bathroom as he'd choke

the gap was slowly closing
the last stitch in the seam
he'd stepped into his perfect story
his neverending dream

they found him with a book of poems
and a grin though he'd been taken
he'd circled in ink the final passage
'never to awaken'

In light of day
I feel no more
I work I play
I shut the door
to feelings only night does hold
feelings deep within the cold
the cold and icy wall that shields
that which burns
that which yields
to secrets no-one shall discover
to dreams left vacant for my lover
questions too come with the night
to play the game or bare the light
this light that shines its brightest when
the Sun has gone
the dark descends
but why the thought so quickly gone
when day arrives
when rays of dawn
pour through the window
upon the wall
into thought
erasing all
I felt with night
I thought with light
that burns within

the essence of you remains
in thought
but you are fading from vibrant color
to etched gray lines
who I am now is measured by your time
away from me
the efforts of others now fruitless
and unrequitted
perhaps it is a slight to the giver of life
but I cannot stay here without at least
the whisper of you
and should I not find you
beyond my last breath
then I shall die with you
in my final thought

it is cold again
drizzling as he enters his building
clutching the 2 bags of groceries
the 3 year old stares from the upstairs
apartment window
wondering why the old man doesn't
play with him anymore
he re-heats and finishes off the coffee
from last night
throws a tv dinner in the microwave
and watches highlights of the games on youtube
since they dropped the local sports from Sling
he checks his bank balance again online
listens to his favorite ghost stories podcast
then wonders why he hasn't planned for
his burial
or cremation
cheaper to dump my ashes in the Atlantic
he decides
he ponders many things but mainly what the future holds for his kids
he does this almost every night
can't understand why they took the vaccine against his pleas...
to get along? Make things easier? Have that card for the cruises?
1 A.M. and a few hits to help him sleep
a final ****
but will hold off the flush until morning
so as to not wake the older woman upstairs
the ghosts are getting closer these days
they scare the **** out of the neighbor's cat
when he comes to visit
he's off the spirit box since October
when they scared the **** out of him
when he saw one go by and call his name
they know it's coming soon
he just wishes they'd let him leave quietly

grey dusk
blue tomorrow
fade to black
back to sorrow
take my heart
but never borrow
this love is all but spent

my soul washed upon a beach
after many years at sea
it is bleached and hollow
worn too smooth
like shells that batter each other
along the shoreline
and in the early hours
when the Sun provides enough light
you find me
and place me in your bag
with stones and lost treasures
that you would later admire
and add to your display
or simply toss aside

Zacharias
yellow, xanthic waves
voyager
underworld time seeker
reacher
quiet poet
orator, navigator
millennium lecturer
kerouac jack
incarnate
holy
Godsend furtively
earthbound
deliverance
conservator
benevolent
angel

wilted pride
and severed tongue
the cry of freedom
but a faint echo
falling on deaf ears
their blood runs clear
their souls forgotten
like great pillars that hold the walls
of an empty cathedral
heartless children of a dying age
you betray your fathers and your God
while your self serving greed
wreaks the essence of evil

in the after
you shall taste the sting of eternity
in the company of your like

to be alone
so rare these days
electric faces fill the haze
these empty hours bring 'lovers lost' scars
I need a night beneath the stars
so the night owl hoots to the whispering breeze
which kisses the river and pierces the trees
before I succumb to the calling of sleep
an eerie laughter did seem to leap
from the gusting wind and the chilling night
it enters my soul and takes its bite
was mankind's howl that filled the air
that turned my solace to stark despair
a silent scream as skyward eyes fill
with the land man has *****
the mystery he has killed
my soul cries as I view it
our tracks have cut its face
this sacred Sunlit oasis
no longer frozen
in time and space

I don't know why I doubted you
that Washington set in motion Pearl Harbor
before it blew
or that LBJ had Kennedy killed
and that nothing  happened at the Gulf of Tonkin
you were there too
on a boat on the Hudson
with a bird's eye view
when the Twin Towers fell
in on itself
not one, not two
but the first 3 to ever do so
ain't that a clue
Eisenhower warned us
Kennedy too
before they took off his head
for us all to see
that peace on Earth
was not meant to be
that war is the game that must endure
yet we are the cream
we are the pure
tell me tell me
tell me more
what does the future have in store
is there a man who can rid us of rampant sin
from the bowels of our nation
destroy evil from within?
there is such a man
there are many in fact
but the journey is treacherous
the obstacles great
and no man has managed to make it his fate
for evil has hold of all that we see
all that we touch is poisoned by thee
the churches, the judges, the men in black suits
have given their souls
abandoned their roots
what we saw on the horizon just moments away
died a nation's hope that November day
so why do you question me year after year?
because the weapon of evil
is to doubt what we fear

when the dream ends
and you awaken
to all the lies that were mistaken
for all the truths
that left you shaken
alone again
and no-one knows

when the light dims
on this special dream
all your hope like a silent scream
is torn from you
unheard unseen
while spirits fail to move

waves of silence
rule the night
drain the world
of lover's light
bitter souls dance of spite
stolen
are the hearts below