I feel like I was hit by a truck barreling down
while I was dancing in the highway praying nothing would hit me
but obviously, eventually, it would happen
somewhere deep in my gut I knew I'd get smashed into pieces
but I couldn't face reality, and slowly
slowly my time ran out

Somedays I don't see a reason to open my eyes
and force myself to go outside and socialize
with people who don't know me
and people that hate me
and people that really just want to break me

But everyday I wake up and pry those crusty eyes open
to tame my beastly hair and throw on pounds of makeup
to impress people that hate me and people that don't know me
and people that just want to break me
and I force a smile and a laugh as I walk into hell each day
standing upright, ***** pushed out, just to make them happy
but instead I get called a two-faced ***** who dresses like a ****
when all I do is smile and nod and smile some more
just so the day goes by quicker

And the worst part is, you can't leave this ******* hell
I come back to the confides of my home, to the purring of my cats
and the smell of my room and the squeek of my bed
And hell is still with me, it ******* follows me
I try and breath and step away but there it is on my screen
staring back, mocking me
and every night I ******* die a little inside because
no matter what I can't escape hell unless I'm drunk
or in a dreamless state of sleep

Pointless, yes
but after this
I swear to you
I'll ween you off your mothers breast
and cut the strings that keep you here
and drive until the path we took is no longer there
Once we're lost
We are saved

The continuous rise and fall of his chest
synchronized to my heartbeat.
My head, gently cushioned
between his collarbone and shoulder blade.
Our body temperatures reaching common ground;
I have slowly melted into your skin
past your entangled veins and nerve endings,
straight into your bones;

Force a grin and agree as
blood trickles off my teeth
then break my word with cold blades.

Trace the rugged path anxiety leaves
up and down my patterned skin
the ****** monster leaves me warm and wanting more

Sunkissed brown stretched across

my deepest desire;

But soon I will be counting

one, two, three

pointy white

protruding trophies.

In my hand I hold your heart
the cold rock you left me
after the punches were swung
and the blood was wiped off our skin

In my pocket I carry
the ring you gave me
when you promised me tomorrow
and failed to follow through

Yet in my room the only light that shines
is his, for me, with love
And my dreams are filled with sounds
of wedding bells and baby rattles;

I'm scared that this will end
our smiles fading, skin bleeding,
And you leaving me visible broken promises
that I carry burdened