I’m living a life where we sure to treat everyone equal.
The only people who’re less are men who don’t treat & view women as people.
If you a man & don’t understand your woman then you need to ask her.
You don’t have to be a surgeon to cut out the cancer.
Seeing something funny & opening your mouth can be just as easy as laughter.
If the wrong person in my cabin, the tires screeching shortly after.
It’s usually the people who don’t reach their goals that do the most reaching.
Noticing it’s Loving women that do the most teaching.
View how much I love my mother, I love my woman, I live what I believe in.
Be careful who you’re around. Be careful what you breathe in.

Close your eyes & your mind keeps going, racing thoughts aren’t a cruising feel.
We do everything to win & feel as if we’re losing still.
I Hope everyone knows what it’s like to need It off your chest.
Every night I go to sleep but I rarely get to rest.
Pressure added on top of the pressure I put on myself.
Being labeled selfish when my energy goes to helping everyone else.
So many I love struggling, I feel guilty Every time I smile.
Quarantine? some of us been alone. some of us been wearing masks for awhile.
The type of money to help everyone I can’t make It.
My brother, my best friend don’t love me no more & I can’t take It.
My mom grieving & I cant hug her, I can’t hold her.
& if I tell her how I’m feeling that’s just another bolder.
I keep It inside because I never want to scare anyone.
Just know if it’s been hard, you’re not the only one.

Music was a voice. Therapy was support. Judgement was never court.
All natural, Presence was the only force.
Cuts heeled. Promises were real & doubt couldn’t be heard anymore.
Just like limbo, it’s so easy when the bar is far from the floor.
She felt adored.
She was pencil & when the pencil slipped, he was eraser.
Every time a path to growth showed up He would race her.
No one understood, he was a translator.
She used to never be a priority, he would get with friends later.
A lifetime was squeezed in less than a year.
one day he disappeared.
but left so much food for thought there.
Only a short time is needed to make a steak rare.

I don’t take any of It for granted, not one minute.
Not even the days It seemed like the food came w/roaches in It.
I just got this, how is It already bad?
We put things down & forget what we had.
Don’t let It go over your head.
But if it’s not supposed to why do they call It under stand?
Glass half full. Lemons to lemonade. At least I’m not at the back of the line.
Never noticed those who turned their back because I was behind them the whole time.
If no one ever broke It, we’d hand It over wrapped with a ribbon.
Just to say thanks for giving.
& when my head doesn’t work, thanks for forgiving.
The days we wish we weren’t here, love feels like thanks for living.

If you know my story how could not believe in God?
Everything about my background says I should be a statistic on the chart.
Can’t help everyone but I help as many as I can.
Being an adult gives me anxiety because I never thought I’d live to be a man.
So many things I don’t understand, when I meet him I can’t wait ask.
Never been a robber but everyday I leave my house I wear a mask.
I’ll show you how I got them but I do not value the materials we all stack.
Except my phones, it’s so many people I can’t call back.

Haven’t written, I’ve lacked inspiration.
So much red pen & forced erasing.
We never out grow bad grades. We never outgrow mistakes.
& only thieves are happy because happiness is something you have to take.
Usually planted alone because photos, sins, and this don’t help me grow.
No one’s perfect, yet I’m obsessed with being close.
& what ever that space is will keep people close to me.
Long after I’m gone they’ll still choose me because of who I chose to be.

My poems so personal but the truth so inspiring.
My career in hyper drive, baby boomers retiring.
Materials & status not important in life.
So I spend a lot of time selling better values & advice.
So many things more important than winning when any night could be our last night.
So I apologize even when I feel right.
Peace is never a loss.
Losing people is life’s most expensive cost.
Scan earth & my best friend the fastest man here.
When he vent to me sometimes I can tell he forget he a millionaire.
I stoped living to survive, constant flights to California.
Spoiling women a passion for me, praying God bless me with plenty daughters.
August 8th, bonus check net 6K, I didn’t smile that day.
Can’t say enough if you chasing happiness, money not the way.
The world has so many moments that make even rich people choke.
With no loved ones close, they realize they really broke.
My pride comes from women that love me calling me a bright spot.
Can’t wait til the day my daughters look back like “we just like Pops.“

The climate change & the weather never fair.
Ecocentric so it’s so many ways I want to clear the air.
Hurt by the things I hear, like I wasn’t there.
Sending money to my family & they still call me gross when the net everywhere.
12 hour work days after driving from Tuscaloosa when I couldn’t rest.
Craving success, cut off the love of my life due to stress.
How do I tell the person next to me I need to isolate myself?
How do I tell someone I give reassurance I actually hate myself?
& I’m the villain because I didn’t drag you through my bad episode?
Success come with seasons & we fell before the summer because I couldn’t stand to see you cold.
The price to keep moving, my past is littered with good people.
Every time I step up I fall in to puddles of tears like I’m racing steeple.
I hear the unsweet tea but my mouth never bitter.
Would I have taken a Phoenix contract if I was still with her?
We never know what God needs to erase to write the story.
Most common evidence of weak faith is when we worry.
If you lining up for success, you need God on the corner to go that route.
To get in your bag sometimes some people have to come out.

They don’t tell the whole story.
Every hero sounds like a villain if you withhold the glory.
They don’t talk about how the effort was never reciprocated.
Always how you left, never how it was instigated.
Condemned off the short when you were perfect for so long.
They know they can’t actually relate to those songs.
When you made their dreams come true, where was all this regret?
Truth is a bad person Is easier to forget.
Every time I’ve been demonized I left a high bar.
& not one person has found a replacement to meet It so far.
Remember a person at peace doesn’t make a sound.
& most good people aren’t appreciated until they’re not around.

I only dance when I’m in my room alone.
We can afford houses, but we can’t buy homes.
Grown, living off poems and songs.
If you don’t lean on the kid inside the adult doesn’t last long.
There’s so much in life we have to see.
Government shut down, my aunt was working for free.
I chip in like I’m on the lease.
Amazed even in the darkest time she was happier than me.
no social media, no tv. I think that’s why every time I see her it’s a laugh.
The days are better when you don’t know what you don’t have.
It’s been years since we had less but sometimes I miss It.
& to cheer up I play my favorite songs & change up the lyrics.
Different places in life is a walk to remember.
Two places at once, lives change, miracles happen when opposites come together.

Blvd. Pkwy. Ave. Hwy. Not the way,
Open the drain, pour them down the drain.
That’s not how I heal today.
It’s been sometime since I’ve stared at the bottom of the net, years since I put the bat away.
It used to ache every morning. It hurts no more.
Now you must go, someone needs you more.
It’s right & feels wrong.
That’s a sign that someone isn’t strong.
When you’re weak days get long.
This is just a pause until the last song.  
Watched you mature, I look at you and see my brain.
I never let my friends hang.
Anything I want to say held back by my fang.
I’m holding it together Dr. & when u return I’ll be doing the same thang.
Smile in your residence.
Only cry when It raining, wash away all the evidence.

Can’t live with me so they want to **** me.
I pray God save me from the friends cause I can’t be caught off guard by an enemy.
Think about it, Someone has to be close to stab you.
Guess those are the cuts we just have to laugh through.
So many times now I only smile when I bleed.
There’s always an apology followed by a “I need.”
Loneliness is safer.
Put the love under an eraser.
Put your forgiveness in a box & friendships under leases.
I’m already broken, it’s hard to hold together the pieces.

I have to stop giving love with the expectation of reciprocation.
I fill people up and they just let me down like precipitation.
My checks divide all type of ways & I don’t get dependent breaks.
I hope everyone knows you can’t be genuine while defending fakes.
I’ll never understand why a big heart is met with a bigger knife.
I’m constantly under attack by women so lonely they need a sister wife.
****** from someone who’s forced to invest because everyone else leaves stressed.
Selfish people who look out for themselves with advice hidden as what’s best.
If you can’t reach your goals, how could your comments reach me.
If you experienced but failing freshmen classes, what could you teach me?

I’m having having nightmares whether I’m asleep or awake. My mind is feeding me thoughts I can’t take. Cold sweats from flashbacks of wasted time I can’t have back. These things I hold eat at my soul until a new flame feels old. Now the hugs cold and I’m freezing in a emotional pain that feels so bold, so physical, so real. I stay on my toes cause some cuts don’t heel.

When you say you love me, know I love more.
God I’ve always trusted you, today I trust you more.
I’ve payed before, asking what you were waiting for.
It was her, she was on the way.
Did you already know I would adore her this way.
Bravo, well done, You’ve outdone yourself, you heard me.
I will spend the rest of forever serving, trying, to be worthy.
This is one blessing I do not deserve.
How often do you send angels to earth?

There’s a knot in my stomach, can’t tell if if Rylee gave me the flu or I’m missing you.
Reminiscing about that perfect room.
Me seeing my mom standing next to you.
Healed things I have yet to live through.
Before I even prayed for an angel the Lord assigned me two.
Happiness is hard to find, with you I’ve found myself.
Love truly makes you blind, I don’t see no one else.
You say I’m not ugly, and that may be true.
But that’s how I feel when I stand next to you.
Have you seen you? it’s like you’re from a mystical source.
Your are my prayers in physical form.
You always drink to much but I was seriously scared last night.
But the lemons into lemonade is I realized i wanted to take care of you for the rest of my life.

When i look at you i still envision the rest of my life.
& nothing has changed because of the pain i feel at night.
i won’t say mean things, i won’t leave, i don’t ever want to cause you pain.
I’m so scared if i ever hurt you in any way, you’ll never look at me the same.
i want to spend all my time with you when my weeks end, I’ll drive 4 hours back and forth any weekend, this is a test that will make us stronger, we will prevail and relinquish the weak ends.
When i look at the spaces in my hand i know your fingers belong there.
Anything said bad about you, to me, is a voice aimed toward the wrong ears.
i pray the Lord blesses us with many long years.
Scrolling through Chris brown’s album and you come to mind during all the songs here.
i won’t give up on you, if you don’t give up on me cause I️m hurting, Images in my head make me cry sometimes, & i feel so insecure now.
i feel alone, i can’t talk to my friends about I­t­ so my heart feels so unsure right now.
i don’t want them to judge you, i don’t want them to choose not to love you some day.
i love your friends like my own because they’re the ones that keep you happy when im away.
i guess In the end all that matters is i want Ali, i want to be with you.
My father always told me a great quote, “the only way out, is the way through.”

Either way, I’m happy I­t­ became us, “them”, we.
You are without a doubt one of the best things to ever happen to me.

Pain and happiness comes in waves.
Waves go up and down & that’s been the last few days.
Months, years.,
i prayed to be here, but my people aren’t with me.
& success doesn’t fill the holes left by the ones that I’m missing.
Then i find out the devil has sent cancer to take another.
3 Days after realizing i night truly love her, my friend, my brother came and said “I’ve got something to tell you.”
Back against the wall it’s either get over I­t­ and get through or add another someone else ill miss to.
i don’t want to lose anyone but I’m losing.
So much pain over the years I’m no longer bruising.
i stay calm in the face of news that devastates me.
when i think of how i would’ve reacted to things I’ve faced lately it’s like the Devil’s already ate me.
I­t­ can’t be that I’m stronger, cause rivers have turned to oceans, at night i cry longer.
Problems money can’t fix, happiness you can’t buy I­t­.
This was supposed to be a happy poem, but I’m bleeding and i can’t hide I­t­.
I’ll probably let her read this still.
i don’t want her to feel guilt, i just need to her to know how i feel.
Cause In the last week my foundation has been shook.
If i start to drown, someone has to know where to look.

The first time I saw you I knew my angel was borrowed.
Could you come back tomorrow?
I'm strong, but when my light's off and I'm sleepy.
These songs, your pictures continue to eat me.
Your voice drowns out the thunder.
My childhood was hell yet you make me wish I was younger.  
Weekends I lay & think.
You go out and drink.
Am I the one on your mind when you can't control it?
You lose things when you're drunk, give me your heart, let me hold it.
You are everything I pray for.
I re-read your texts until it feels like you say more.
Since April I adored you.
I fell knowing you couldn't afford to.
I don't hear from you but I hear you.
I close my eyes and dream I'm near you.
I'm standing in the rear view.
Not knowing what happens in year two.
The future will always be a mystery.
In the end I just hope I'm Mr. He

They lied when they said Love would cost us nothing.
To be specific, it cost me about thirteen hundred.
My heart is broken and this pain really hurt me don't it?
When love is chasing you just keep on running.
Love is a curse, I'm just being honest.
There's only one cure to a broken heart and I'm smoking on it.  
I get hurt and then convince myself I didn't want it.
Therapeutic shopping, Balmains cost me fifteen hundred.
They lied when they said Love was priceless.
Drugs, clothes, liquor, we spend money pretending we don't miss the people we miss.
I guess if it's forever, it's free.
But if it ends, be prepared to pay the fee.

conceit vs loneliness is the real fight
I can't fix it, all I can do is tell you what it feels like..
pretty girls in the friends zone,
But no one believes we're friends though.
Labeled for my company, when I'm involved with none.
They speculate, when there was truly only one.
& then I lost the only girl in my life.
By following my best friend's advice.
I don't know why, he's just as scared of committed as me at the end of the night.
But I ask him to guide me every time as if he's seen the light.
And then I convince myself a bad idea is a good one because I've heard it twice.
I appear to have em all, when I have none.
When in fact I'm so conceited, I can't just lay with anyone.

Can you hear me right now?
My heart is racing but there's surely no sound.
I'm always here but I'm never around.
I'm finally on my feet & you're knocking me down.
Lord not right now, not right now.
Can you trust me right now?
I've Queened you but I forgot your crown.
You're an ocean, I don't want to drown.
My standards are high, you're above the crowd.
Your pictures are screaming, why are you so loud?
Jumping while looking down.
Tried to slide in safe but you're calling me out.
Apology letters from the ones that miss me right now.
Smiles behind frowns, night doubts.

I try my best not to let things bother me.
But unavoidable irritation is those women anyone could have if they struck a lottery.
State, Scratch off, or Draft day, doesn't matter.
Materialistic & status driven women whom the true values in life don't seem to flatter.
You can stay down but she  needs a come up.
& if you ever drown she won't be there when you come up.
There's so many problems there and I'm here to provide the sum.
The minute your dollars multiply, divide from her & add in a woman that values you or you'll be left looking dumb.
Life is full of open and closed doors,
Sometimes you have wait longer for the lord to open yours.
Marriage is about ups and downs & how could that ever work with a woman who won't ride to the lowest floor?

My poetry will change with my life.
If you're reading, journey with me & find comfort in knowing I'll never tell you the same thing twice.
A hopeless romantic but my script doesn't chase as much, I'm the catch now.
No more vivid depictions of depression envisioning happiness, I'm that now.
I'll try my best to stay grounded & genuine nobody wants to read about material and figures.
I only talk about it to show how far I've come from sleeping with my pillows hiding triggers.
I know y'all wanna hear about love but my eyes yellow like something wrong with my liver.
Scars so deep sometimes I'm afraid to admit that I miss her.  
I'll keep y'all posted as I'm reducing sins.
Not asking the Lord for more, reusing wins.
Congratulations coming from enemies, confusing friends.
Had my heart stapled away, now I'm losing pins.
They lift me up & keep me grounded look at the range in my friends.
& I know my life just changed but she might change it again.

A mountain I simply couldn't hide from.
Even when you're running bases you've got to slide some.
I'll really open up for a second here.
I'm in the real world & she's in her second year.
Discrete with my private life because graduation doesn't lessen fear.
They could never talk to you so they in your woman ear.
I'm 22 making more than the average household median.
My hometown binge watches my life & students are reading in.
My phone rings off the hook and I'm feeding fake friends.
Im cut thin between safari and him & she's the only win that makes the bleeding end.
Six figures used to be the dream, now it's a step away and my closest friends aren't successful yet.
I love them so much I wager money on games, and then pray they win the bet.
JC called me that same night, told me he had an interview while I was on a corporate flight.
I turned off my overhead light & spent minutes praying he got every question right.
So In a period where I'm shining how do I admit to myself she's the brightest spot in my life.
So scared to step out of the darkness just to have someone take away my light.
If I ever fall so many people around me lose their fight
& I'm the type of person if theres nine people to feed I'm eating ninth.
I guess I really just have to think things through.
Because if you lose your dream girl you often lose your dreams too.
God, this position I'm in.
Sometimes the loss scares away the win.

Hey Sir, I'm your new son.
I'm so proud to hold her hand she's my backbone.
She's what all my chips are stacked on.
"Why are you on my steps son.?"
Hey Sir, think of me as a stepson, her heart, your trust, my gift, all things I'd never step on.
Hey Sir, I'm that fella.
I promise to take my time with her, my lights on yella.
Strength Umbrella, the days she needs to cry I promise I'll let her.
Hey Sir, if you let her make me better I promise whether it's its sunny or stormy weather she'll always be safe for as long as we're together.
A blessing is a gift, a gift is a blessing, & a blessing can be made into a gift.
She's your greatest blessing & it was gift from him, he gave you his.

I think this song sounds so good because i heard it next to you.
God could take all my blessings away, as long as I'm left with you.
I cherish memories we haven't made yet.
I'm feeling things I was sure I'd lack.
Scarred from the ones that want me back, the thought of emotion gives me heart attacks, but now my guards are quitting, they don't wanna fight back.
Slightly conceited, I feel I'm a first round pick yet I know you're out my league.
I've stayed Siberian for years, it only took you 72 hours to do this to me.
You make me feel beyond infatuation.
Roll Tide, University of Alabama still blessing me even after graduation.
Zetas they're special,
Unforgettable.

100 degrees in Puerto Rico.
I'm Bahamian, it isn't  to hot for me though.
I'll just say there's no end.
Because I don't know where to begin.
I win, look at my best friend, her circle's thin but custom made delicacies usually don't fit in.
I mean when I pray your name comes before mine.
I'm blessed, I'm good, I'm asking God when it's gonna be your time.
Her voice sounds like answered prayers.
Personality so capturing you want to keep her company for years.
Elevator love, up and down, we go through it.
I might have to propose one day, you deserve so much & I just don't trust anyone else to do it.
All these memories in my head that's why I talk like this.
They call me cocky, but blame my best friend that's why I walk like this.

I'm quiet because I want to say so much.
I feel, I mean I wish, nevermind, I might say to much.
I guess because of you I understand those songs
Those lyrics, the captions, those poems.
Now I'm the one writing, these aren't Just poems.
I'm true to you, I'm true to these words.
I'm screaming in silence, who needs words?