I’m not
I am NOT
Depressed, bi polar, Miserable
I’m not
I am NOT
An addict, impaired, hopeless
I’m normal
I don’t have issues
What I go through I can solve .
It’s not an issue , no problem.
I got this , talked about it for long
I know how to fix me.
I’m ok, like everyone.
I’m positive, I’m happy .
I don’t stuggle from nothing .
Life’s great , all good .
Please get out my way
I’m ok

If you leave him, He won’t hurt.
Remember those times he made you tear ?
How you were Alone In the darkness suffering dearly ?
While he cared not one bit about the sadness your having.
How he made you upset & didn’t give a **** ?
Remember being in your room .
Looking at the window hoping he’d apologize, come back to comfort.
You’d stare and stare but not one time did he come through ..
Remember Sitting on your bed.
Hearing music & cheering coming from the outdoors.
Hearing laughter & jokes Passing Through black screen ?
Remember how Depressed you ****** felt.
How he hurt you & left you dying
How he Didn’t even care about the heartaches he kept causing.
Remember how it wasn’t just 1 time.
It was every time you’d fight.
Alone in your room you cried
While he Forget by buzzing Down and having a good time with the ******* & Friends?
How’d you tell him he made you feel so sad.
Hoping he’d come around, you’d hear his car leave instead?
Remember how In every conflict you were the only one to be left unhappy.
After a fight you’d go home and over think .
While he went out to parties & Drink
If you leave, he’d just go back to being him.
The same person he was.
**** has never changed with him.
I’m always suffering while he goes out to enjoy the night.
He will always end up not giving a ****.
While You drown in the hurtful things that went on.
So baby girl Don’t worry.
If you leave , don’t feel sorry.
Don’t look back at him or feel bad for what’s happening.
If he cries or looks broken
Don’t turn back , just like he didn’t.
Because like always He goes to his parties and Talks about bitchs, fast cars and money .
He’s always shown how much he really cares About you .
Never once has he corrected his wrong , he’s the fault & still plays the victim .
Never once did he Feel the pain that I felt and Still left with.
So don’t worry baby.
If you leave , he’d be grateful & still live on free. Only more better , since your no longer there.
He can now enjoy the life of the dearest **** boy he longed for .
To be honest, that’s what Crushes me .
Knowing when I leave he’d go back to the things that damaged me.
To the things that left me scars & worthless memories.
To go back to the person who broke my heart.
All those reasons are what lead me to finally realize I was to good of a girl. I’m too good to be his.
I’m too special for anyone
Because I have morals and Stay faithful & loyal

The day is near
Which day is dear ?
One I don’t know to fear.
The end or the start
To this night mare.

Will I hurt then Regain back
My will power & strength
Push forward to
find real happiness.

Will I hurt and go get again
To not feel any pain .
Of the memories I started with
Following ones I created .

I’m scared
Of it all

I’m accused of always
Being Grumpy & irratated.
Easily Offended & set off quick.
So much That I’m being disliked.
My mood Is Starting
To set them aside .,
I always argue
Start random petty Fights.
Im accused of Being lazy.
Not trying to do anything .
Of wanting to do nothing .
Everything Bothers me.

Im Overwhelmed
Of waking up to my same sadness
Seeing myself try for those around me to put me down or Hurt my feelings bad enough that I quit.

I’m not easily bothered.
It’s only with People i lived long whom I put up with a lot of their ****. For them To be confused Over my Rage towards something they see so simple but to me so big because I’ve dealt with that issue many times for them to never correct.

The Clocks Ticking Closer.
I’ve seen this Ticker tock some time ago?.
What Does it resemble?
It comes from the past & it’s Moving faster as the seconds go.

Hypnotized By it’s moving Hands.
1 Slows 1 Speeds.
There’s no end To
this Antique Thing.

Why Has it appeared.
For a reason I’m certain .
The Clock has a strong meaning.
I can’t seem to get away from it.

I feel it molding In my head
Again ..
It’s come back &
Help is far far away

Now I see
Now I finally noticed .
I don’t want to use
I cry for a stop
To be able to resist .
Now I See
Why I love dope ****.
Why I can’t let go of it .
I’m currently ****** damaged
I’m feeling so Worthless
I’m feeling so sad and hopeless
I’m angry , frustrated , helpless
PLEASE GOD TAKE MY LIFE
I’m feining for drugs!
I don’t want to feel like this !
I’m not good enough for anyone !
I hate myself I’m ****** done!
I’m too broken I’m shattered
I’m weak I can’t try nomore!
After every inch of miserable pain he’s made me feel .
Knowing everything’s his fault
I’m here laying down
Feeling like I’m not good enough
Remembering all the girls his been with and how I don’t ****** compare at all !
I’m ****** ugly & disgusting !
I feel so devastated.
He deserves better.
A beautiful girl
With a curvy goddess body
A goregeous girl
That match to all the ones he’s been with.
IM SO **** SAD!!
Forever Ill be insecure and doubt his loyalty !
I’m ****** ugly !!
Looking back Every girl he dated
He got unfortunate with me !
I ****** hate myself !!!  
God please!
Give me a syringe to end the pain
Please ****** numb me
Idc to go insane
I’m so helpless
I’m useless and stupid
I don’t have anything nice
Errors All over my body
Please take me god
I don’t want to live
I don’t feel beautiful
Everything about me is a fail
Look Those girls !
No wonder he’s still inlove !
No wonder he still reminisces on them !
I’m sure he hates himself for not being able to have made them his girlfriends!!
I can’t god I can’t I’m feeling to Worthless
I’m a *******
I’m pathetic
I don’t want to breath
I’m nothing compared to them
I hate myself so much for not looking desirable
For not being a model to his eyes
NO WONDER HES PLAYED ME
no wonder god
That’s why he’s attempted to cheat
Has conversated with others
**** look at me !
I’m far off from his expectations
I’m ****** useless

The dope,
Does not replace You.
The smoke
Does not vanish You off too.
When high
You Are Not forgotten..
You Do not Leave my memory.
When on this drug
You are not erased.
You remain at the very center.
Sober , high ?
You never leave my Brain .
  
Always remember I’m not ok.
When high . I’m not feeling great.
I’m not safe , I’m not ******* happy
NEVER THINK IM LOVING THIS
I’m numb & so ******* miserable
I’m on , but Not Feeling Good.
I’m an addict, I no longer get those
Bomb feelings In my body .
IM. NOT OK IM NEVER FINE

I’m so sad
Why was I cursed .
Why do things go wrong .
I don’t deserve any unfairness.
I’m good to people,
I’m respectful , kind , Caring .
I listen to everyone .
To everything & Help others.
I’m so sad.
Why was I cursed.
Why did Bad things happen .
To my innocent soul .
I did not deserve, Any of this .
I’m so sad.
As A Kid , To a teen & now as an adult I suffer from Feeling useless.
Why ? What’s made me feel like I have no worth. ?
A lot , A lot of reasons Just know.
My depression is not progressing
I’m in such distress.
No mood to right Nomore .
I repeat my problems in different words.
Il say it once more , my issues.
Last time il repeat what’s wrong with me  .. poetry is slowly fading
So listen closely . As I can fade too

Listen Closely.
You will lose her .
Listen closely
Drug abuse will change her.
The Girl You Will Do it all For
Will slip Away .
The substance will Take ahold
Of her mind & Brain.
Twist all Thoughts & feelings .
Listen Darling
Dope will eat all her hope .
What she cares for ?
Will no longer matter .
All important will be forgotten.
All her thoughts will center.
To get High & Stay lit .
Stuck on getting more.
You will lose her.
Her views will see evil  .
All against her.
Without noticing, she’ll convert.
She won’t realize how much she’s taking .
The tolerance & money doubling .
She won’t see it’s gettig out of control .
She won’t see anything wrong with how frequent she’s used.
She’ll lose , her Control
You’ll lose , your baby doll

Hey Pretty lady.
Are you feeling ok ?
I see a frown forming down
Do you need my help today?
You know where to find me
You know I solve everything.
Take a little ride with me
Il take away your sadness .
Come here pretty lady
Let me be your company tonight
I promise I will make everything alright.
May I take you out ?
Just how you are.
I’m here to impress you , no need to look nice.
Come here pretty lady
Let me be yours tonight
We’ll have a good time
Just you and I.
I promise I’m nice.
All make your tears turn to ice.
No more droopy Eyes.
Let me brighten you pretty lady
Inside and out
I have the power
To make you feel New ..
I’m better than a friend.
Come take my hand ,
Il give you everything pretty lady

I’m sorry for inturupting.
Making you Ask me out because you felt sorry for me .
I’m sorry for ruining your life.
Getting in the way of yours and messed up opportunities you now wish you would have taken instead .
I’m sorry for coming into your life and making it horrible.
I’m sorry it’s my fault your not with the girl you died for .
I’m sorry for trashing your space
I’m sorry I exist . It’s me to blame
I’m sorry I got in the way
Sorry for not being the one you wanted to marry.
The one you looked at so hopeless in love .
Sorry I don’t make you look at me with eyes of true love like you looked At others.
It explains everything .
Why you hurt me plenty of times why you can’t be lovable
Etcetcdtc
Because your not that inlove with me like you were with others .
I know you wish you would have stayed with either of the ones you been with
I’m sorry I ruined your life with my pathetic hideous self
I’m sorry I don’t fit the description you told me.
I’m just sorry I don’t make you feel the way you felt when you’d get close to those girls your heart melted for

I’m here.
I just shed a tear.
Il Be Fine
It was caused by a line
I’m still lying
I know deep in me I won’t be fine.
—
I say I’m Tired
The Addict life i Want to retire
I say I hate this
I write about regret everyday
I cry & Type I’m Helpless
Of how fed up I’m with
this dope ****.
I Confirm it’s not true happiness
I don’t feel good , I feel worse
And say I don’t truly love it.
I Clarify I don’t have fun nor do I enjoy it.
Rewrite about the way it’s not fantastic, I don’t feel Great.
I’m an addict.
I use drugs to run from **** & deal with nothing .
I don’t pop pills to have fun like raves & parties.
I don’t do lines to spend Good vibes
with Friends..
——
I Repeat it’s not enjoyable
How I want to travel back & never encounter.
Why am I always contradicting then ?

I got it right bae
Might die tonight babe.
How lit? Super high.
Don’t want to feel like I’ve been.
I hate this drug
One Take & il Numb my disgust
I Forget how I’m struggling
Il Forget im An Addict
Just get me on ,
I want to Forget long

I let her in
I knew
I don’t know why I continued.
Actually I do .

She knocked
She never stopped
She pushed herself through .

She’s strong
She’s trouble
She’s Unstoppable

I let her in
I held a strong fight
I tried my best to keep her away
I got tied
I gave in

Now it’s time
Now I decide
Now it’s a good bye
To my family & Loves

I fight & win
Selfish, time for myself
Activities that will distance
Many around me .

I leave
Lock me in 4 walls
See no sun & lose my mind to detox for a long time .

I give in
Beats me to sin
Lose my life to it .


Which road will I flow
How much power remains .
My loves must remember
I love them but I must love me first to get away from this horrible
******* curse

Be aware
I’m not scared like I used to be.
To lose  you, see you walk out.
Watch you leave & end us.
I have drugs.
To replace you,
Forget who you were
Erases our memories & best times.
Be aware
If you do me *****, I don’t care.
Drugs will always be there .
Il depend to forever not feel..
If you leave me, I won’t cry.
I have lines to get me past times.
So please know , I’m not scared.
To be left ,

It’s taking way to long
To find my ground .
I’m leaving right now.
You’ll never see me round .
You know where I’m coming from
Where I’m going , you know I’m
Going down .
The people around me are going down too.
We on a dark road.
She gave it up , she d