Year after year
Her Tears kept falling.
Promise after promise
Her heart
Forever pulsing Sadness.
Chance after Chance
No changes were ever accomplished.
She Wants Her fare share.
Of mutual Love and care.

Im startling to realize
that this life i idealized
of sweet charm, comfort & company
will never be found here.
Im constantly lied to.
"Im trying"
Soo much time has been already given..

im tired.
ive been waiting so patiently.
for what?
more negative results.
more apologies and excuses.
"im sorry baby"

You Are my biggest trigger.
Baby, You Are Pushing Me.
I'm Scared To Fall.
But The Pushing is getting strong.
Baby, I'm Scared.
I'm Scared At the fact That I'm Not Afraid. Too much on my brain.
My Pain Is Building Up.
I'm running low on Space.
I'm sorry but I can't tolerate!
This is Becoming to much.
Many arguments Left unresolved.
Baby I Can't take this Anymore.
The Fighting & broken promises.
I've held strong for long .
I'm getting to that Point ..
Where I'm Going To Give in.
I'm not happy, I'm So miserable.
They told me Sobriety Is the best feeling ever. Why aren't I Joyful?
Why am I still Depressed !
Baby, I've told You many times.
Please change . Please treat me nice. Show Me How great life is Sober. It's You Who wants me Drug free. I Cleaned up For You.
I Quit For You. You promised To show me how great life is off drugs.
I'm Still waiting ..
I'm Waiting For You To treat me like Your queen. I'm Eager To Live happy with You & off drugs.
To Smile , Enjoy life and Love each other.
So Baby? When Does it start ...
Why Do You Still Treat me Unfair?
Why Do You Still do things that make me Feel Upset. Why am I Living The opposite of what you said? I Fought temptation Many Times. I Managed To Not relapse Through Times I Should Have.
I've been Strong. For You..
like I Said, I'm weakening .
What's The Point of staying sober?
I'm starting to forget. I'm Starting to lose faith in sobriety.
You want me To Be Kind & Sweet.
Respectful, loving & caring.
You want me to play wifey.
Baby, Why must I Stay around?
If You Ignore me Whenever.
You Forget About me Easily.
You don't care how I'm feeling.
I'm Supposed To Be Positive.
Stay happy, Kiss and love you unconditionally.
You want me to show You affection.
Treat You like A King And be at your service .
I Am A Puppet, Your prisoner.
I Don't find This Fair. We are supposed To Be even.
Why Did You make me your gf?
Can You tell me What was The point of Quitting Drugs ?
I Changed my lifeStyle for You.
You Wanted Me To be Yours.
You promised me A better life.
I Am Yours now & im So Unhappy.
I have been Loyal, truthful & Loving.
You Have Been Unfaithful, Careless and Lieing.
It hurts me To know You Said "I'm Pushing You away" with My constant Tripping & arguing .
It crushes my heart. How do You not see That it's You that's causing me? How do You not see How Careless You Are About my feelings. I'm the only one With The privilege To say "your pushing me away". You have Done Things That I should have Left You For. Yet I've never Told you "Your pushing me away" I put up with Your ******* a lot. I forgive and forget everything.
Yet, You Are the one losing interest in me? That hurts.
Im Strongly attached To You.
I'm So used To Being with You.
You Are My daily Task & routine.
My Life and choices revolve around You. Your the center Of My World.
I'm Sprung, I'm obsessed , I'm in love with you Popa.
I gave up drugs To Be With You.
You became My new Addiction.
I Do everything You Ask me To.
In return, I Get tears running down My cheeks and feelings Hurt.
I Am Changing.
Im No longer A Fool Like I was before. Where I let you Walk over me and Treat me however And Still love and Sweet talk With You.
I Don't Show You Much affection Anymore . Why? You give me no reasons To Be Lovable.
I'm Arguing More Frequently.
Why? You are giving me many reasons To Be negative with you.
Listen Closely Baby ...
I'm Tired of all Your b.s.
Tired Of You doing whatever.
Im Tired Of Not being treated how I was promised in the beginning.
I can't continue Being played like a fool. I can't keep moving forward in a relationship where I'm not happy.
I'm Drifting baby, Hope you Notice.
Hope you realize It's because of Your decisions and Doing as You please. It's the Lack of affection, And The fact That You don't think whether your choices hurt my feelings. The fact that You break promises and Do things behind my back.
I've Done Nothing As Bad As You.
If I have? It's because of You.
You Always come first in my agenda. I always Think about your feelings and how Certain things will Affect You.
You Want Me To stop arguing And talking ****.
It all Starts With You.
You just have to Do Right and Not things That Get me angry.
Treat me With Love.
You will Get the same back plus much more ...

I love the way you ignore me.
I love it when you make me feel like I don't exist.
I love The way You Say You care
Although you are never there.
To hold me & make me feel better.
You Always say an excuse when it comes To comforting me.
"You push me away, You talk ****"
Yet it's so easy for You to
Disrespect & Diss me.
How Can You carry that heart.
How can you express it to someone who's done nothing but listen and Obey.
For you to take advantage and Betray.
You'll fall inlove again.
I know You will.
With new *****.
A cute Face & Nice body.
Will hypnotize you &
il Be easy to forget.
Farewell

"It's okay.
It hurts.

I saw it.
The way your eyes drifted to others.
Never straying to mine.
Never filled with the same spark.
Always dull.
Lifeless.
Loveless.

My heart.

You would say it.
Those three words.
Not to me.
Never to me.
To the others.
They always got your love.
I got your hate.
Your anger.
Always.

“You don’t have to love me.”

You gave me orders.
To stay home
Have no friends
Only you can I conversate with.
While your allowed to do the opposite of everything
I was not to.

I can’t.

I was your puppet.
You pulled the strings.
And I obeyed your commands.
You never loved.
Not me.
Never me.
I was your toy.
Something you could throw away.

Take it.

It’s all a game.
Of feeling.
Of pain.
Of love.
Of hate.
You are the king.
I’m your pawn.
Just a piece on your board.

I’m done.

I loved you.
More than anything.
I let you use me.
Hurt me.
If I got to be with you.
Nothing else mattered.
You didn’t feel the same.

I’m here.
Surrounded by demons.
I no longer fear.
I’ve given myself to them.
The whispers became clear
The voices are now real.
Who’s better to love ?
A chemical of course .
So Toxic But So pure.
Who’d I choose now?
I’ve chosen he
Who Treats me better
Who’s proven
Dope? Is more powerful.
Hope? Is not promisble.
The devil offered a  deal.

To walk with him
Once again ,
To join his pack
Only pleasure & never pain.
Opening my eyes
How I’ve only felt misery
Sadness & Heart breaks
In this so called
“Real life”

My heart
Is physically hurting.
I analayzed all the possibilities
All in which made me fear.
Yes, this is real.
That time is finally here.
The final night.
I no longer want to tear.
My heart feels so heavy
My chest feels so full.
I feel this heavy weight in me.
I want it all to go away.
Tonight marks another.
My brain is in panic mode
I know the outcome of them all
While you dance in the light
I cry in the shadows

It's been difficult for me to swallow
I feel in distress
I feel so pathetic
Yet I continue to address
But they continue to do what's best
Live for them self's .

It's the final night
I can't put up with no more lies
Live your life
I don't deserve this anymore
I can't explain anymore

Overwhelmed
by stormy days.
No one els but I
Can take these storms away.
My choice to live
In misery & darkness.
How hard can it be?
To rise & Shine light
On my Depressed life ?.

Been in these shadows
For Almost a decade .
Hidden from the world,
Burrowing myself
In sorrow & Hopelessness.

I’m tired .
Waking up to the
Same **** every day ..
Life is passing me by,
Missing out in so much .

Caved in for long .
Anguished in my own agony.


How much longer

It Does Not Make me Happy.
It Numbs me completely.
It Helps me Avoid Situations I Don't Want to deal With.
It Turns me Careless & heartless.
It Cures My
Heartbreaks And loneliness .
It's A very sad thing.
to Not be Able To Feel Anything.
To Turn To Something So deadly that's Ruining Your life and Making Things worse.
Instead of Having the Strenghth To Reslove it Sober and still find and feel real happiness.

All I Wanted was Real love.
I just Wanted someone's touch
To be specific I Wanted him
He's the reason I gave in
To open up a side of me
that's never been seen
I allowed to love
I put my guard down
Something I've never done
For no one
Even The Thoughts of drugs slowly drove out
I was focused On
His where abouts
He became my new addiction
I got lost on his smile
idk What made me Fall in love
He was not Sweet, he wasn't nice
I guess it was the drug that put me in a dream.
It got me seeing things that I'd wish he'd really be like..
I wasn't right
Now I'm hating on my self
All these drugs
These ****** Drugs ****** me worser than I've been before.
Now because of this
I want them more.
This relationship has been a lie
The Substance but him in disguise
Oh my mind how it failed
To see the truth of what was real
That love I fell for
Wasn't ever real.
My babylove
It proved it's self
Thats the deal, that's the only thing that's never done me wrong.

I hope one day
He realizes .
That I didn’t do anything
To get broken hearted.
Recognizes how many times
He’s made me Cry .
Times I cut my wrists & Got high
Risking my life
To an actual death.
Why did he cause pain .
Even after expressing to him
How depressed I am.

It hurts
So **** much .
To be told to ****
When I have tear drops.
Never once has he made me feel ok & better .

My life ...
I hate it more than ever .
I cry so much more .
These tears are real
I’m so close to just giving my self to The Skies
I can’t bare this Sadness
Any longer .
Suicidal thoughts have been coming faster and staying longer.
When will I truly give in
To ending My life .

God , please hear me.
I’ve been Sad for so long .
Suicides been In my head since I was young .
I’m now older ‘
Alone In my thoughts
Im losing my mind.
I have nobody in this world
I’m hopeless
Many people have made recognize how worthless & pathetic
I truly am.


I’m hurt so hurt I can’t even explain anymore
God please listen,
I’m desperate to smile
To laugh , enjoy life.
I’m desperate for happiness
Please god i cry to you
Give me strength to change
up my life :(

I'm Not on.
Baby Sorry, I'm On 2.
I can't stop now

Im A fool.
I Dedicated my life
To some one Who Never showed me a reason Why.
I Gave Up My life
To A person Who Didn’t ever make me feel alive.

I Gave myself To Some one Who wasn’t meant for me.
I Lured A person who was clear they were never going to make me feel Like in movies.

I was Giving
My Kindness to someone
Who never was kind .
I Was Giving the best of me to a person who just
constantly hurt me.

I Chose Their Comfort & Wellness .
To someone who didn’t care if I was uncomfortable.
As long as they were.
But they checked to make Sure others were settled ok ..

I always have time for them. Even if I’m busy , I make time. I’m always available for their presence & Look forward to whatever they want to do .
Because they are important to me & I want them to see.
I’m There For whatever.

For someone who’s Always tired , Stressed , has no time , Too busy When it Comes To me.
My interests are always rejected.  They then get Angry Telling me I don’t care or understand how tired they are from working so hard all day. Who call me selfish for not thinking about them and things they do. I Can’t conversate with them because they want to sleep .

I Showed my Sweetest image to impress someone who never made me feel Worthy Of anything.

I Gave all my time to someone who Gave me Left over time.
I put Him first
When I was Put last.
I canceled my plans To spend time when he Wanted.
I was His last choice when he’s plans got canceled.

He pleased people
Never Mattered to please me.
He chose others feelings
Never caring if it hurt mines.
Gave attention to others
Making sure to stay in good terms.
Never payed attention to my Overall Happiness or cared to know if I was good ...

I stay home all day
Waiting to see him .
I have to cancel invitations if not he accuses me of never thinking of him.


He Works all day.
If Something pops I’m ditched without notice.
He goes m.i.a
When he pleases
He never explains his disappearance.

I Aruge over hurtful actions he’s caused. To him it’s nonstop **** talking. Always ignored , Left Unsolved.
My feelings remain hurt .

He argues over Me Constantly Bringing **** up.
Saying he feels hurt because I constantly run my mouth .
Refers me as so ******
Because I can’t let his betrayal go .
I’m forced to change.
From making him feel angry
To Pleasing him to be happy again.

Lullabies of you & I
Same lullaby
fights, arguments and cries.
I'm finally getting tired of it all
I'm near saying my final goodbyes

once I walk
I won't turn back
that spark I had for you
has finally died.
I blame you, I'm even feeling
like I don't even have love 4 u
soo much pain that you've put me through
I'm sorry for my honestly
I'm always apologizing for things I shouldn't
I should've been walked away

I’m tearing
My self apart.
There is no one to blame.
I am the reason why.
I am why I hate & cry.
I’m making my life miserable.
Everything is possible.
I keep on seeing everything
Down & impossible.
I hate that I’m negative.
Hate that I have potential but just don’t believe in myself.

I'm on this path again.
Not because I want to.
It's the only way to love you.
Which is so wrong & ****** up.
How far I must go to forget The Pain & Sadnes that You make me go though.
How are you ok with this?
How can you let your girl hurt more.
She's depressed and Hafefull of her body & self.
You hardly attempt Anythjng to make her great. Your so good at excuses "oh you'll talk ****" but it's so easy for you to cause me stress.
Set me free & let me go.
Let me Finally live life.
Expierence the world Without Being judged & learn to love Sobriety.

*** is wrong with you?
Are you really ****** serious.
Knock it tf out before
I knock you out.
That **** ain't ok??
****** stupid ***!!
How can you seriously start thinking like that?!
He's your bf!
Don't let the dope get to your brain! He can't **** this!!

One day.
She Will Wake Up.
Rise From darkness .
Awaken from depression.
One day.
She will realize
That there is a happy life awaiting for her outside.
One day
She will see the truth.
She will understand what loves supposed to reallly stand .
One day
She will care about herself.
Her life & motives.
One day
She will wake up.
With an empty heart.
Ready for a new start .
One day
She will realize
It’s time to let go.
With her head held up
She’ll move on.
To something better.
She deserves the world

It breaks my heart
Of the current thoughts
Running through my head
They’ve never hit so hard.
It’s Breaks my heart
To agree To these new Solutions.
I’ve ran long with a Love
Grew A huge bond .
I can’t bare to Think
That this can be the answer for me to finally break Free.

We Are Done.
You & I.
Yes that’s Right.
This Times Forreal .
I cant take Anymore
Anger & tears.

Your always bothered
Irratated or annoyed
At anything I do .
I have no voice
No opinion
Im Tired Of Loving
Someone’s who’s just too ****** selfish & cruel!

*******
Yes I said it.
In a tone filled with so much hatred!
*******
I hate You !
Can’t think of 1 thing to regret it.

Your full Of negativity
Always bringing my spirit down .
I’m my own enemy already!

I’m good with out you !
Yes I mean it !
A life full of smiles
& Laughter once I get away
From you !!

Your too Much !!
It’s all about you !
Only you can set & Break rules!
Your mistakes are never talked !
Explanations never
come out your mouth !!

My entire life
With you I’ve been Blue !
You never attemp to make
me feel Good !

You don’t help me !
You tell me things that
worsen me!
Leave me !!!!
****** leave me !!

.
I'm So proud Of Myself.
Longest I've stayed sober on my own. No help, no treatment.
I'm nearing 3years in November.
How Amazing.
through Tough situations
I managed to Hold strong.
Through Hard Days I managed to keep my triggers in place.
It's been a difficult journey.
I put up with so much.
My heart Kept Beating strong.
Every day has been a battle.
Between
my addiction and sobriety.
Every day I Need To remind myself To stay away.
I might be Sober but my mentality is still ill.
The thoughts of Using Haunt me daily.
Thankfully I've Been Strong enough to push them away.
You have no idea how difficult it is. To Not relapse when you feel you should.

Sorry Love ..

I Did It. I Used.
Why? Because of You.
I'm Hurting And Stressing.
My broken Heart Couldn't stay strong any longer.
Im Overwhelmed.
I'm Tired hearing "I'm Sorry." When You don't mean it and Do the same thing all over.
My affection and Love is fading.
I Can't Continue giving you my all.
When All You give me Is Betrayal.
The Decisions and actions You Chose Are The Reason To My **** Talking and ****** mood.
Should I Stay Or Leave You?
What Do I Win And What Do I lose.

Is It even worth it.
Staying sober ?
I’m Beginning to lose the little faith I have towards wanting Sobriety.
What Would You lose if You Use.
No wait, Better question.
What are you gaining ?
What are you Accomplishing by holding back ? Is it pride ? What are you benefiting by feeling good that you said no to drugs.
All I see is Double tears.
The problems unresolved and adding it to the list of things Dwell on .
Refusing to use keeps you in the Same place. Sad, hurt Your feeling.
Using Removes You away from All Negative As long as you Stay.
Wether you refuse or use at the end of the day The problems never Go away.
When You Deny To Relapse your only making your family happy but your Still Sadden.
But When You Do Give In
Your escaping reality for Only a moment but at least it makes you feel better. Your family will be angry but why care ? Staying sober isn’t moving you anywhere.
Your Being good to please others.
Think about yourself & question if you got something you wanted out of it.
You have nothing going for you In life. Why Not just go back to Your habit ? It gave you something to do in your life. It kept you moving Instead if Sitting home lonely crying.
Drugs are bad yes, but when your high you don’t even care. Compared to being sober and noticing The reality of your ****** no life self.
Die sober and Unhappy
Die High and Unaware

I Want To bleed Out..
Why, Why couldn't it be true.
Y Couldn't you stay true
I'm still Inlove with us
All I Wanted was trust
I'm so saddened
I feel so lost
Not because of the drug
The facts That I believed in you
When it was lust you viewed
My hearts now broken
A feeling I wished to never be a victim too.
How i wish my imaginations were true. How I wish my dreams of You Were True.
You Were the one
I gave myself to you before you made me your 1.
I'm devastated
Not even the drug could cure it
My pain is so Deep
I've never felt this weak
I'm hurting more
Than I've hurt Before
I'm Wanting Nothing
But To Be free
Not from drugs, from misery
I want to bleed out & leave
What's the point in living?
You killed me
Nomore Chances, no more excuses
I suffered 4 years
Tortured with all your *******
It's so funny ...
How you still want to place yourself in a position where Your the one hurting ..
There is no more sorrys
No apology can ever fix me
You've accomplished
The days of pleasure & company
For your self
Your self centered ****** self
Never once hugged me
When I was crying & suffering
Never there for me
When I needed you the most
"the past , it was the past "
You continued Throughout the years. You never stoped hurting me. You still do till this day.
If you really cared? Then why tf is my heart now broken !!

March 2018
I Didn’t notice.
Like always
I believed I had it all under control.
Everything was ok.
Everything seemed fine.
I felt normal,
I would stop soon.

I was Wrong ..
I Fell Down So quick.
I went hard.
No dubs or teeners.
I went straight to a Ball.
I just went all out.


I lost myself again.
I Lost control of the substance.
I Was trapped.
It became a problem.
One I wasn’t aware of.
I Had no recognition of at all.
I Didn’t see that I couldn’t stop.
I kept going
Kept using without seeing the frequency.
The days spent stuck.
I lost touch with reality.
This previous Relapse
Has been the worst in my life .
I haven’t had a binge like this time since 2015.
I used every day .
For 6 1/2 Weeks.
I lost track of the days & time.
I Sniffed & Smoked 2 8 ***** all to my self.

At the time I didn’t see how crazy that was.
Those weeks, an 8 didn’t surprise me.
The amount didn’t shock or Worry me.

I was fine , I had control.
I was doing ok , everything seemed & felt normal.
It was just a small relapse.


I was wrong
I lost touch with reality.
I formed a habit .
I was addicted again .

The sad part is
I’m able to acknowledge this Only through writing.
In real life , my denial mind
I’m able to handle my addiction. I’m ok & Dont have a problem.


It angers me.
Since my 1st Relapse
In August.
I’ve Fallen Very often.
It saddens me.
How I quickly Skipped
The Weight.
Why does it worry me?
My mind will no longer seek a Dub when I’m triggered to use.
It will want Another ball.

Anything less
My Addictive mind
no longer craves.
It now settles for Big.
This relapse has changed the game for my addict ways.
I’ve Relapsed every month
Since August.
I Had it all under control.
I Was able to use and stop.
Just this last time
I completely lost it.

I Relapsed.
I Am Not Going To Apologize..
I will Not Say Sorry.
i didn't let You down.
Don't feel Dissapointed or Angry.
I Did NOT FAIL YOU.
You don't have A Reason To Say "You let me down" or any phrase in that catargory .
Don't Try to Argue With me.
You did not play any roll in Helping me accomblish my 2 1/2 Year Sobriety.  
Do not attempt to lecture me.
I'm Not looking For Forgiviness.
I'm Hurting So Bad.
All I Want is Real love
Support , Comfort And a hug.
You Don't know what it's like.
All You See is "She did **** again"
There's A big Story to it.
Many emotions and Complications.
I'm struggling So Bad.
I just want happiness

What's there to be Sober
Please tell me?
My heart is broken
I have nothing to look forward to.
Everything is crushed
My emotions Are all ******
Not because the drug
But The fact I opened up
In fear of Getting Mistreated
That's exactly what I received
Betrayal that can't be forgivin
I can't forget
it haunts me every day
I knew It wasn't right to give my Love away to some I thought was the one to stay ..
I Was deceased
My Love Was Harshly Torn apart. I don't understand?
I was always doing Great.
That was my last chance of happiness
A Chance of being loved mutually was the only cure to resolve my sick drug addiction .
It failed
I have nothing to look up to anymore.
God doesn't exist
I deserve a good life

I've started.
Help me before I quickly
adapt to this.
You must do it fast, ASAP.
Once I'm on,
il be hooked on.
It always happens ..
I can't do one.
I need to do 2 Then fein for all.
I hate it. It takes away all the misery, my heart feels painless.
Which is why I crave this.
To feel numb and not mind.
Be in my worst, lost in lines.
I still feel my emotions, But they are slowly disappearing.
When I high I can't feel the sadness but I can still think it.
I cry but my body won't let me which makes me horrified.
To see that this Drug prisons the real me and Releases a lifeless me.
It's ok
I'm beginning to like it.
It sadness me that I'm back on my old ways
. They assum I prefer drugs.
They Believe I like being this ****** Addict?
NO! I wish to be Sober and happy. Feel Reality and enjoy every breeze.
When I'm high I'm nobody.
I live in a fantasy of no emotions.
I'm hooked on Not feeling rather than dwelling on past memories.
This isn't what I want .
This is not the life I'd like to live.
I'm only using to Forget All my thoughts and Depression.

I’m getting closer.
To Packing & leaving.
It’s about time
The rain slows down.
For so long I Yelped.
I’ve cried so hard.
Ignored & left to drown.
In my own tears
Caused by they who I call dear.

I’m getting closer
To packaging & leaving .
I used to always hold back.
Said I’m done but always turned back to get hurt all over.
“I’m sorry, il change, 1 last chance”
Was a song that played all throughout my 6yrs of so called “inlove”.

I’m getting closer.
To feeling what
I’m supposed to feel.
To do what’s right & stop my tears.
To agreeing & realizing .
I don’t deserve All this negativity
I’m understanding that I’m wrong for always staying.


I love him.
So much.
It’s not fair that I’ve shown loyalty
That I’ve hurt so much
It’s only right for me to go
& say “I’m done”
To be told “ you never loved me”.
For the script to flip from
Victim to bully.
I’ve been Soo ******* good.
I’m betrayed.
After so many time
s of being played?
I decide to Finally act on my sadness.
What I’m supposed to do.
Stand up for myself .
What happens ?
The bully plays the victim .
I’m then seen as the biggest ***** and bad ****** girl friend.
For what ?
Standing up for myself.
I’m always faulted and bashed  when I act out on something that hurt me .
His actions of betrayal
Must be forgiven.
My actions on feeling hurt
Are seen deceiving

Devil please don’t take me there.
I will get too familiar .
Find it easy , it’s just 1 hit.
Without notice il be tweaking on a full binge .
Without notice,
1 Hit Will Convert to many .
I continuously hit it.
Forgetting theres a limit.
My surroundings
Become unnoticed.
What’s important, Is Forgotten.
I’m careless Over whatever’s
in my circuit.
I’m just focused on the dope & Ingesting more.
To get high but higher than
I’ve ever been.
That High no longer exists.
All My Misery Vanishes
My emotions tie back
Everything I hurt over
, Is no longer In my thoughts.
Just like my negativity?
My Amusement & happiness Disappear too.
Completely numb.
Devil Please stay away .
Il turn cold with a grin.
Il be selfish & Careless.
What I love Will No longer
be important
Il care for nobody But The dope that fools my mind.
I’m another person When I’m ingested with lots of ice.
I lose my state of mind
My mind wanders off
The drug
Removes Your struggles.
Just to make room for the Devils Gifts for choosing to live
easy & quick

Devil please stay away
Il fall quick & forget About sobriety.

I... just
Don’t even know what to Write about Anymore.
Every poem have the same meaning just written differently.
I’m just so saddened
I don’t know how Els to explain how upset I feel at life.
I feel so sorry for myself

She abuses
To get away from the reality.
To Avoid Confronting
The Truth Of Her So called
“Loving Relationship”.

She gets high
To escape the truth
Of who he really is .
What he really has to offer.
How He?
Will never Fullfill & Help her build The life she deserves.

She Abuses
To not remember all the times
he Used her .
Times he played , manipulated
Failed & dissaponted her.

She’s been forgiving.
Expressed her pain in all ways.
She’s given chances
When the actions have been reasons to forever walk away .

She’s Still besides him .
Little does he know
She no longer stands the same.
& As the days continue
The Insults , Disrespect &
more betrays ?
It’s all Convincing her to believe she’s just better off dead.