Will everything go as I demand
Will things come out as I have planned
As I travel through tomorrow's foreign land
In my reaching outstretched hand
Will the blue bird of happiness finally land

What will happen as the future I transverse
Will my darkness and agony get worse
Can I out maneuver this curse
At times I feel like I'm about to burst
In scorching pain I am immersed

This life is a living nightmare, a hell
Out of this raging storm I want to sail
I want freedom from this, I scream and wail
To escape into death, my soul to the Devil I would sell
I'd let him pound in the last coffin nail

But I hang onto hope
Hope that I can cope

Dripping like hot molten rock
Liquid gold it just won't stop
Dropping like rose petals to the ground
The splashes of red is all around

I've seen that face
So full of sorrow and disgrace
I've seen scars like those before
The demons are poring through the door

Let them come, I don't care anymore
Living has become to much of a chore
I scream and yell, trying to get someone to care
But no one will, learned long ago life is so very far from fair

So I'll take my pills
There suppose to cure my ills
But they don't, nothing will
Living my life takes to much skill

Anguish is over running my cup
I'm so very close to giving up
So if you don't see me come tomorrow
You'll know I couldn't take the sorrow

Dripping like hot molten rock
Liquid gold it just won't stop
Dropping like rose petals to the ground
The splashes of red is all around

I've seen that face
So full of sorrow and disgrace
I've seen scars like those before
The demons are poring through the door

Let them come, I don't care anymore
Living has become to much of a chore
I scream and yell, trying to get someone to care
But no one will, learned long ago life is so very far from fair

So I'll take my pills
There suppose to cure my ills
But they don't, nothing will
Living my life takes to much skill

Anguish is over running my cup
I'm so very close to giving up
So if you don't see me come tomorrow
You'll know I couldn't take the sorrow

This night just seems not to end
It stretches on much to my chagrin
I lay in this bed trapped in this skin

Why must life be this way
Why must lonely nights lead into sorrowful day
Why must in my head all these thoughts play

As I lay here and wait for the light
Trying to decide if I should give up the fight
But I don't live for myself so I haven't the right

So I just toss and I turn
Stressed and stomach churns
And my scars just burn

Maybe with a new day
I'll look at things a different way
Maybe I'll have better things to say

For now even my bones feel heavy
I'm hoping my tears don't break down the levee
Praying tomorrow I can hold everything steady

I took off my mask
Why would you do that, you ask
Because this is me sad, lonely, and depressed
There is always a heaviness on my chest
If you can't handle it just step on back
You can't alphabetize me and shove me in a sack
I won't play that game any more
And all of my true feelings I'm gonna show
Maybe now I'll get true friends
Not just those that like me when I grin
And hell if not I'll just stay alone
Because I don't need fake, I've grown
So like me,or love me, or leave me alone!!

I took off my mask
Why would you do that, you ask
Because this is me sad, lonely, and depressed
There is always a heaviness on my chest
If you can't handle it just step on back
You can't alphabetize me and shove me in a sack
I won't play that game any more
And all of my true feelings I'm gonna show
Maybe now I'll get true friends
Not just those that like me when I grin
And hell if not I'll just stay alone
Because I don't need fake, I've grown
So like me,or love me, or leave me alone!!

On gossamer wings she took flight
But the winds of change tore those delicate wings apart
She fell to the hard earth, a terrible sight
The wolfs descended upon her and tore out her heart

As she laid bleeding out in the dirt
Wishing her wings would of been made of steel
Then she wouldn't have these feeling of hurt
To the Gods she made an appeal

Please replace my heart with one of stone
So it couldn't be shattered by a simple storm
And never again would feelings be known
The Gods took pity and she was tranformed

Never again to be a delicate child
But a stone cold creature
She was as beautiful as she was wild
Her rock hard heart, indeed her best feature

Her gossamer wings gone
She would never fly
Being with out them made her strong
She never again would fall from the sky

The winds of change could roar
But she could take it's toll
That couldn't break her anymore
With that heart of stone she could just roll

On gossamer wings she took flight
But the winds of change tore those delicate wings apart
She fell to the hard earth, a terrible sight
The wolfs descended upon her and tore out her heart

As she laid bleeding out in the dirt
Wishing her wings would of been made of steel
Then she wouldn't have these feeling of hurt
To the Gods she made an appeal

Please replace my heart with one of stone
So it couldn't be shattered by a simple storm
And never again would feelings be known
The Gods took pity and she was tranformed

Never again to be a delicate child
But a stone cold creature
She was as beautiful as she was wild
Her rock hard heart, indeed her best feature

Her gossamer wings gone
She would never fly
Being with out them made her strong
She never again would fall from the sky

The winds of change could roar
But she could take it's toll
That couldn't break her anymore
With that heart of stone she could just roll

On gossamer wings she took flight
But the winds of change tore those delicate wings apart
She fell to the hard earth, a terrible sight
The wolfs descended upon her and tore out her heart

As she laid bleeding out in the dirt
Wishing her wings would of been made of steel
Then she wouldn't have these feeling of hurt
To the Gods she made an appeal

Please replace my heart with one of stone
So it couldn't be shattered by a simple storm
And never again would feelings be known
The Gods took pity and she was tranformed

Never again to be a delicate child
But a stone cold creature
She was as beautiful as she was wild
Her rock hard heart, indeed her best feature

Her gossamer wings gone
She would never fly
Being with out them made her strong
She never again would fall from the sky

The winds of change could roar
But she could take it's toll
That couldn't break her anymore
With that heart of stone she could just roll

This night just seems not to end
It stretches on much to my chagrin
I lay in this bed trapped in this skin

Why must life be this way
Why must lonely nights lead into sorrowful day
Why must in my head all these thoughts play

As I lay here and wait for the light
Trying to decide if I should give up the fight
But I don't live for myself so I haven't the right

So I just toss and I turn
Stressed and stomach churns
And my scars just burn

Maybe with a new day
I'll look at things a different way
Maybe I'll have better things to say

For now even my bones feel heavy
I'm hoping my tears don't break down the levee
Praying tomorrow I can hold everything steady

Like a lone tree standing on the ledge
Roots desperately grabbing on to the rocky soil
Time slips slowly by
One gain of sand at a time
It's roots are losing it's grip
And off the cliff it's starting to go
It's such a painful processes to watch
Please avert your eyes before the final pop
Of that last root giving way
At lest it could be said it held on as long as it could

Trigger was hit
Tag, your it
Off goes the switch
Watch the twitch
Bang goes the gun
Wasn't this life fun

©Pauline Russell

She slowly started to get undressed
Her body ached for his gentle crease
His unhurried decent between her thighs
He passionately looks into her eyes
In his rhythm her hips start to rise
As he softly starts to slide
She loves the motion of the glide
Silent is their passion cries
Their body's mirrored every move
They were in the movement of loves perfect grove
They kept perfect time and rhythm
An explosive ****** was a given
Exhausted and satisfied they laid in each others arms
Him just admiring her womanly charms
As she snuggled up and whispered, "babe that couldn't register on any flow chart"
"For that my love, was true art"

Why all the scars, please let me explain
I've been through Hell, I've been licked by the flames
I've trudged through the white hot coals
I've been where know one should have to go

And I will not hide the scars
That on my body mars
I wear them proudly
For they speak loudly
Of the agony I've endured
And of my madness that can't be cured
But also that I'm a survivor
A real bad *** fighter

But my heart did not grow cold
Like many people that I know
Instead I know true empathy
Which is so much more than sympathy

It's the knowing of pain and what it can do
Those without gut wrenching agony haven't a clue
So if you find your self in sorrows fiery land
Just streach out your hand
I'll grab ahold
And not let go
I'll not lose my grip
I won't let you slip

If I die what does it matter
I am already scattered
My minds not here, my heart is shattered
All you see is an empty shell
That by the way has gone through hell

So you can judge on first glance
Before you know me, or give me a chance
I don't really care, they all do
It doesn't reflect on me but you

I know what I am, I'm deppresed and splintered
Upon this bed of torture I've been rendered
Countless times, by countless monsters
Thats how my madness was fostered

So judge my sadness if you want
Or why my face looks so gaunt
You've not been where I have been
And you've not seen what I have seen
True monsters walk this earth
And to me they have given birth

If I die what does it matter
I am already scattered
My minds not here, my heart is shattered
All you see is an empty shell
That by the way has gone through hell

So you can judge on first glance
Before you know me, or give me a chance
I don't really care, they all do
It doesn't reflect on me but you

I know what I am, I'm deppresed and splintered
Upon this bed of torture I've been rendered
Countless times, by countless monsters
Thats how my madness was fostered

So judge my sadness if you want
Or why my face looks so gaunt
You've not been where I have been
And you've not seen what I have seen
True monsters walk this earth
And to me they have given birth

It's ok to have the pain written on your face
It really is no disgrace
It's ok to see the sorrow in your eyes
Please my friend drop your disguise

For I know the past torturers you
And the future is hard to pursue

I know the past is the living dead
It gets up in there, and ***** with your head

It walks around in there and gobbles down
All the happiness that can be found
It feeds and it scatters
All that gray matter

A different point of view is hard to be found
When you've made the mistake of looking down
Turn your eyes to the skys
Where all the winged things fly

Trust is a must, let go of the rope
You'll learn to fly, never give up hope
A leap of faith is all it takes
To finish in this mad rat race

Truth and lies
Destin to collide

Trust it died
It couldn't survive

I'm trying really hard not to slip down that *****
I'm trying real hard just to cope
I'm trying real hard to distracte my mind
I'm trying real hard different views to find
I'm trying real hard to stop the  dark emotions run
I'm trying real hard to find some sun
I'm trying real hard to deny the sorrow
I'm trying real hard to look forward to tomorrow

I'm trying, I'm not shirking
I'm trying, but it's not working
I'm trying, while my mind is swirling
I'm trying, while the black dog is searching
I'm trying, but I feel him lurking

It's a slow ride, down this slide
It's a slow ride, no where to hide
It's a slow ride, but still I'll collide


Look, you can see the dark side



©Pauline Russell

The only sound in my ears is the crashing of waves
I exhale, trying to be brave
But I can't stop the scalding tears
I'm waiting for my vision to clear
Kneeling by your newly dug grave
I feel that to this place I am now enslaved
I can only muster a hushed whisper
"How could you leave me dear sister"

The only sound in my ears is the crashing of waves
I exhale, trying to be brave
But I can't stop the scalding tears
I'm waiting for my vision to clear
Kneeling by your newly dug grave
I feel that to this place I am now enslaved
I can only muster a hushed whisper
"How could you leave me dear sister"

My emotions
Are like the waves of the ocean
Forever turning
Forever burning
Sometimes I'm riding high
Sometimes I can almost touch the sky
Sometimes they drag me to the depths
Sometimes I just can't catch my breath
I tumble to and fro
Just like the frothy foam
That washes upon the shore
It's all a deafening roar
Some days I do my best to swim
Even with the circling sharks fins
But today is a day i think I'll sink
I'm way beneath the brink
I'm to exhausted, I think I'm done
Tired of living under the gun

All alone
The seed was sewn
The **** has grown
Close to the bone
I've been dethroned
Turned to sandstone

Watch me crumble
Everything I bumble
So very humble
Everything I fumble
I just mumble
My thoughts are jumbled

My mind is cracked
There's no coming back
I'm afraid I slacked
So much I lack
A joker not a jack
A punch in the back

No wings, can't fly
Only look at the sky
Soulless eyes
Slowly dies
No tears to cry
Into the pan to fry

Two broken souls
Trying to make each other whole
They were quite a mess when they found each other
Each had lived through torment, one after another

Her body was full of scars, just trying to maintain
His heart had been trampled and drained
They gave each other their own heart
They found it filled in all the parts

And together they where whole
They where connected, soul to soul

Her with all her worries of the future
He always tried to hush and nurture
He would slay all her demons and doubt
She showed him what true love was all about

They loved each other so
Like they had known each other long ago
They lived joyfully for many many years
There was only ever joyful tears
Until that one horribly sad day
The Lord took her away

On that day his true love died
He just wanted to be by her side
He just seemed to wither away
Without her by his side he didn't want to stay

Soon after he passed too
Even in death his true love he would pursue
They say he died of a broken heart
But I know it was because she had his missing parts

Two broken souls
Trying to make each other whole
They were quite a mess when they found each other
Each had lived through torment, one after another

Her body was full of scars, just trying to maintain
His heart had been trampled and drained
They gave each other their own heart
They found it filled in all the parts

And together they were whole
They were connected, soul to soul

Her with all her worries of the future
He always tried to hush and nurture
He would slay all her demons and doubt
She showed him what true love was all about

They loved each other so
Like they had known each other long ago
They lived joyfully for many many years
There was only ever joyful tears
Until that one horribly sad day
The Lord took her away

On that day his true love died
He just wanted to be by her side
He just seemed to wither away
Without her by his side he didn't want to stay

Soon after he passed too
Even in death his true love he would pursue
They say he died of a broken heart
But I know it was because she had his missing parts

Uncle, Uncle, I can't take anymore
Uncle, Uncle, I'm already on the floor

I've already said Uncle,  so give me some slack
Universe please,  stop jumping on my back

Stop with your antics,  your constant attacks
You let me progress,  just to be taken aback

Once again you have left me weeping at the door
Once again you have shaken me to the core

Uncle, Uncle, I can't take anymore
Uncle, Uncle, I'm already on the floor

I've already said Uncle,  so please let me up
I don't want to drink anymore from wrath's flowing cup

I'm tired of being the platypus,  your little joke
Tired of the agonizing feelings,  you leave me here to choke

Once again I'm drowning, as you hold my head under
Why is it my life you choose to plunder

Uncle, Uncle, I can't take anymore
Uncle, Uncle, I'm already on the floor

Born on the darkest of nights
For the stars hid their eyes from the sight
Of an innocent soul born under the bad moon
With the universe this child would never be attuned
In lifes garden, only pain, misery, and sorrow could bloom
From the very beginning this child's life was doomed

The stars wept that night
For an atrocity that wasn't right
The rain that fell on that child's soul
Was meant to comfort and console
The star's sweet tears quieted the wish to die
That only minutes old has already darkening that child's eye

The child grew with a messed up childhood
Every night the step dad at the child's bedroom door stood
That curse of the bad moon
Made sure all happiness out of this life was pruned

The child grew up, found love, or so thought
Only later to realize she had been caught
The grown child was caged and beaten daily
It was the depth of Hell, it almost drove that poor soul crazy

The stars held witness
As the winds of change bent and twisted
Rushing that soul from one tragedy to another
Leaving the child shaking under the covers

The child cried out to that wicked moon
"This sorrowful life you gifted me to soon"
"I never got to taste the pleasure"
"Or lie for a time just in leisure"
"You took happiness, the greatest of all treasure"

Everyday the child struggled through
What else was there to do
But everyday brought new problems the child did it's best to solve them
But it was a constant onslaught
Being born under the bad moon's sign, only agony was brought

The only relieve was at night, when the star's tears fell
It called to the child's soul like a bell
On rainy nights you can find
The child's fragile body and mind
Stand out in the pitch dark rain
Letting all those starry tears wash away the pain
The strain
That resides in the heart, the brain
The star's and the child's tears mix
As off the child's fingertips it drips

In the harsh light of day
Watch this child sways
Watch as the delicate steel soul dances to every blow
Taking the lumps of every thing thrown
It's hard to believe how strong this child did grow
But it's bones are brittle
To crush this grown child would take but a little

This child will never out live the moon's tattoo
There is nothing about it to do
Pushing on
Giving the illusion of being strong
Over to many problems it stumbled
Until the child's soul crumbles
Then the soul will rejoin the universe
Then and only then, in happiness it will be submerged

So take heed when the next bad moon wanes on high
You can hear the stars weep and cry
Pray your child isn't born in that night
That your child will not have to fight for a life that's unlivable
Surrounded in all that is miserable

If you was born under that evil moon
If the star's for you cry too
Do the best you can do
Dance in the rain of tears
Through out all of your years
In the stars sweet rain
It can wash away the pain
Letting you feel the illusion of sane

©Pauline Russell

Born on the darkest of nights
For the stars hid their eyes from the sight
Of an innocent soul born under the bad moon
With the universe this child would never be attuned
In lifes garden, only pain, misery, and sorrow could bloom
From the very beginning this child's life was doomed

The stars wept that night
For an atrocity that wasn't right
The rain that fell on that child's soul
Was meant to comfort and console
The star's sweet tears quieted the wish to die
That only minutes old has already darkening that child's eye

The child grew up with a messed up childhood
Every night the step dad at the child's bedroom door stood
That curse of the bad moon
Made sure all happiness out of this life was pruned

The child grew up, found love, or so thought
Only latter to realize they had been caught
The grown child was caged and beaten daily
It was the depth of Hell, it almost drove that poor soul crazy

The stars held witness
As the winds of change bent and twisted
Rushing that soul from one tragedy to another
Leaving the child shaking under the covers

The child cried out to that wicked moon
"This sorrowful life you gifted me to soon"
"I never got to taste the pleasure"
"Or lay for a time just in leisure"
"You took happiness, the greatest of all treasure"

Everyday the child struggled through
What else was there to do
But everyday brought new problems the child did it's best to solve them
But it was a constant onslaught
Being born under the bad moon's sign, only agony was brought

The only relieve was at night, when the star's tears fell
It called to the child's soul like a bell
On rainy night you can find
The child's fragile body and mind
Stand out in the pitch dark rain
Letting all those starry tears wash away the pain
The strain
That resides in the heart the brain
The star's and the child's tears mix
As off the child's fingertips it drips

In the harsh light of day
Watch this child sways
Watch as the delicate steel soul dances to every blow
Taking the lumps of every thing thrown
It's hard to believe how strong this child did grow
But it's bones are brittle
To crush this grown child would take but a little

This child will never out live the moon's tattoo
There is nothing about it to do
Pushing on
Giving the illusion of being strong
Over to many problems it stumbled
Until the child's soul crumbles
Then the soul will rejoin the universe
Then and only then, in happiness it will be submerged

So take heed when the next bad moon wanes on high
You can hear the stars weep and cry
Pray your child isn't born in that night
That your child will not have to fight for a life that's unlivable
Surrounded in all that is miserable

If you was born under that evil moon
If the star's for you cry too
Do the best you can do
Dance in the rain of tears
Through out all of your years
In the stars sweet rain
It can wash away the pain
Letting you feel the illusion of sane

Born on the darkest of nights
For the stars hid their eyes from the sight
Of an innocent soul born under the bad moon
With the universe this child would never be attuned
In lifes garden, only pain, misery, and sorrow could bloom
From the very beginning this child's life was doomed

The stars wept that night
For an atrocity that wasn't right
The rain that fell on that child's soul
Was meant to comfort and console
The star's sweet tears quieted the wish to die
That only minutes old has already darkening that child's eye

The child grew up with a messed up childhood
Every night the step dad at the child's bedroom door stood
That curse of the bad moon
Made sure all happiness out of this life was pruned

The child grew up, found love, or so thought
Only latter to realize they had been caught
The grown child was caged and beaten daily
It was the depth of Hell, it almost drove that poor soul crazy

The stars held witness
As the winds of change bent and twisted
Rushing that soul from one tragedy to another
Leaving the child shaking under the covers

The child cried out to that wicked moon
"This sorrowful life you gifted me to soon"
"I never got to taste the pleasure"
"Or lay for a time just in leisure"
"You took happiness, the greatest of all treasure"

Everyday the child struggled through
What else was there to do
But everyday brought new problems the child did it's best to solve them
But it was a constant onslaught
Being born under the bad moon's sign, only agony was brought

The only relieve was at night, when the star's tears fell
It called to the child's soul like a bell
On rainy night you can find
The child's fragile body and mind
Stand out in the pitch dark rain
Letting all those starry tears wash away the pain
The strain
That resides in the heart the brain
The star's and the child's tears mix
As off the child's fingertips it drips

In the harsh light of day
Watch this child sways
Watch as the delicate steel soul dances to every blow
Taking the lumps of every thing thrown
It's hard to believe how strong this child did grow
But it's bones are brittle
To crush this grown child would take but a little

This child will never out live the moon's tattoo
There is nothing about it to do
Pushing on
Giving the illusion of being strong
Over to many problems it stumbled
Until the child's soul crumbles
Then the soul will rejoin the universe
Then and only then, in happiness it will be submerged

So take heed when the next bad moon wanes on high
You can hear the stars weep and cry
Pray your child isn't born in that night
That your child will not have to fight for a life that's unlivable
Surrounded in all that is miserable

If you was born under that evil moon
If the star's for you cry too
Do the best you can do
Dance in the rain of tears
Through out all of your years
In the stars sweet rain
It can wash away the pain
Letting you feel the illusion of sane

Pressure is building inside my skull
An intense dulling lull
To much to much
I'm about to be crushed
It's starting to humm, it's starting to buzz
My thoughts are begaining to fuzz
Past anxiety straight to panic
My actions are starting to become manic
So pass me my drugs
Because my Babe's not here to smother me in hugs
I've got to do something, I'm coming undone
And before long I'll be under that **** gun
Then it well be fire at will
Test your skill

It's ok I understand
You just couldn't love something like this
I just want to say
You'll be missed

I'll just stay and linger on
Until of natural causes I am gone
Seems the suffering can continue
I'm still ordering from this menu
My demons still can feed
My monster I still will need
My twisted life shall fallow and ensue
To push on is all I can do
I say this as I'm lying in my bed
Facing the next minutes with dread
Can't even think about the days to come
Think I need a lot more ***
If I sleep long enough, will I sleep through all I suffer
Buried here under the cover

Maybe one day things will fall into place
Maybe one day I'll fall into grace
Maybe one day there will be a smile on my face
Maybe one day I'll draw the ace
Maybe one day my sadness will be replaced
Maybe one day I won't walk in disgrace
Maybe one day I won't feel displaced
Maybe one day I won't feel I'm being chased
Maybe one day I'll win this ******* race
Maybe, just maybe, one day I'll feel love's embrace

Though I doubt it,.......................but MAYBE

Maybe one day things will fall into place
Maybe one day I'll fall into grace
Maybe one day there will be a smile on my face
Maybe one day I'll draw the ace
Maybe one day my sadness will be replaced
Maybe one day I won't walk in disgrace
Maybe one day I won't feel displaced
Maybe one day I won't feel I'm being chased
Maybe one day I'll win this ******* race
Maybe, just maybe, one day I'll feel love's embrace

Though I doubt it,.......................but MAYBE

Yep, I watched myself get ****** over, it happen in almost slow motion. Could hear the universe laughing as I sat there for hours and hours. Really quite a few days. Sitting across from a poster where Johnny Cash as giving me the finger. Hows that for the universe screaming *******!!!!!!!

Why am I unlovable
Why is the pain unstoppable
Where are the arms to hold me at night
Are the scars on my soul such a fright
That no one will ever hold me tight
With no love I'm withering
Life is so unforgiving
I just want someone to care
To simply stroke my hair
To tell me they're glad I'm here
To whisper in my ear
I'll always be near
To look inside my soul
And see past the scars it holds
Will love ever make this heart beat again
Would that be such a sin
Or instead of flesh and bone
Will I simply turn to stone

I have an unquiet mind
The gears up there just twirl and grind
It never stops it's wound up tight
Sometimes up there it's really bright
Thoughts unstoppable, and really intellectual
Other times my brain is just ineffectual

And all my thoughts quickly take fight
And then it turns dark as a moonless night
But even in the dark the gears still turn
It's just different thoughts that burn

It's terrifying then the one's you'll find
But sometimes the light and dark get all intwind
Then it is intelligent madness
Paints a gruesome picture on that grey matter canvas

But still the gears just strain and wind
All up here in my unquiet mind

Words unshaved
Lost in the daze
Here again
In a tailspin
Sutured heart
Ripped apart
To much gave
Head just caves

Your connection is unstable
Is how my life should be labeled

I'M DONE!!!!

Out in the woods I took a stroll
But the trial was getting mighty droll
So off into

Ties that bind
They do unwind
And there may never be an answer
It eats at us like cancer
It rots the brain
That inturn fills it up with pain
It hollows the heart
Because that's where it starts
It defens us to the truth
They did it to us in our youth
It's all been swept away Into the great abyss
And now it just grows on us like a cyst
Untill we're released
No relief

There was a little girl that lived in a tree
She climbed up there so no one could see
She climbed up there so she could just be

She stayed up there so long she got leaves in her hair
She stayed up there so long she no longer cared

She didn't care about the mother missing her child
She didn't care about anything after awail

She was content up there in the sky
She was content up there and no one knew why

How long she stayed up there nobody knew
How long she stayed up there her feet like roots grew

She had stayed so long now she hadn't a choice
She had stayed so long now she no longer had a voice

Don't go looking for her she's no longer there
Don't go looking for her she no longer cares

She had become part of the tree
She had become part of it and no one could see
She had become part of it and now she could just be

That little girl up in the tree, use to be me

Refined by the fire
Of others sins and desires

Brash and bold
To hot to hold

Beaten with wrath
A ****** aftermath

Left with the weight
Of guilt and hate

Made to succumb
Reliving what was done

Every night in my dreams
It plays like a movie screen

Echoes of screams
Bounce off of moon beams

Thrashing in a sea of white
Over and over, the same fight

There's no leaving the past in the past
As every night it leaves me aghast

So take that advice
That's like raw nerves under ice

Think about it thrice
For it is far from suffice

My war rages on
From dusk till dawn

©Pauline Russell

You sit there and tell me all of your thoughts
Of how she always leaves you ******* in knots
How you really love her, besides she's so hot
Then you tell me how you all fought
She's marrying another, it's leaving you so wrought
But still when she calls, you run like hell
So why do you keep complaining, please do tell
I am your friend
And will be to the end
But if your looking to me for some Validation
I'm sorry but my train doesn't stop at that station

You just sit there like a nonexistent entity
Having no special identity
All your thoughts are not your owen
Only planted seeds in your mind is sown
You are so **** vain
This will probably have to be explained
Because you will probably take this as flattery
But I must say you have a vanilla personality

You just sit there like a nonexistent entity
Having no special identity
All your thoughts are not your owen
Only planted seeds in your mind is sown
You are so **** vain
This will probably have to be explained
Because you will probably take this as flattery
But I must say you have a vanilla personality

Every day I put on armor
I do my best to be the snake charmer
But this world full of snakes
And very high are the stakes
They coil and strike
They do their damndest to bite
But everyday I put on even more
It's such a great chore
And under all this weight I'm starting to bend
And I can't move and I can't defend
So I'll take the venom, I'll let it sink in
I'll let it course through my veins
I'll let it flow to my brain
Let it deaden my limbs
Till the light in my eye's dims
My heart will stop it's beat
And the reaper I will greet